BURLESQUE AGAINST BREAST CANCER

Boys and Science

2010-11-02T05:26:00.000-07:00

God, I realised I had finished my blog by getting ready for Teasy Pleasy, promising you photos and post about it then clean forgot. Oops…

Not like there is anyone to tell me off.

So, Teasy Pleasy was a good night all round. A few sound hiccups at the start didn’t distract too much from the night. Domino Burlesk was every bit as delightful as I remembered her to be as was Glory Pearl, Raspberry Ripples and the other performers. One again Miss Anticipation bought members of the audience to their feet with cheers for her act. God that girl is strong. She did press-ups, flexes and all sorts! Adorable! The only downside for the night was that one of the stall holders didn’t have Bordello leopard print shoes in my size! Gutted! By the way (HINT HINT), to anyone who wants to buy me something to make me smile. In fact any of their shoes would be good. I have been a good girl all year…sort of.

I spent the rest of the evening dancing with mates to the Whip Crackin Daddies…rather dishy trio, even if I do say so. The whole place danced along to them and they certainly have stage presence. The double bass player had girls swooning over him though admittedly, Jim Jeffries was the pinup of the group. His pretty boy looks grabbed all the girls’ attention. A fair few ladies were overheard gushing over him….The drummer got the girls squealing when he jumped into the audience to play. I safely retreated to the bar to watch the carnage of women and dancing commence. Awesome times to say the least. A late night and a stagger home with my best mate Big S that got me home so late it was disgraceful. Big S you have alot to answer for!! Just like old times then.

The next day was spent nursing a hangover and being dragged reluctantly out of my bed at Dixie Doll’s house to head off to shop, I crashed and burned with Tempest-Rose on the grass in the sun….

I even managed to pick up a new jacket for me to take to Paris for my show out there in October…oh how I love it. It’s green wool with leopard print cuffs and collar. Made by the delicious brand Aquacustum…spolit? me? yes! I did prat around in a few vintage shops as well. I managed to find a real treasure trove of a shop. When I arrived a new shipment of vintage French lingerie had just arrived. WOW, the whole lot were in perfect condition and some unworn.

If you are ever near Bournemouth/Boscombe/Southbourne I suggest you visit Clobber. It’s a great shop and I am going back to mooch some more as soon as I get back that way. I have my eye on some 40s dresses and some cowboy boots. The rest of the week revolved around rehearsals ready for the weekend show at The British Science Festival and a radio interview (more to be disclosed soon). I have to say a pretty subdued week all in all…though a lot spent listening to the Whip Crackin Daddies album Paul gave me. ‘Fire’ is my favourite though oddly reminds me of the old Rawhide theme song…oops did I say that?! :p

I noticed a few of my mates have liked it and have downloaded it off iTunes…

So last night saw me performing at the British Science Festival and I have to say, I had a brilliant time. I was put up in a very nice hotel with flowers delivered and wine (nice!!!) and was treated impeccably. The show went really well…my Gorilla act certainly raised a few laughs and Professor No No had them singing and dancing with me. Fabulous, so a special shout out to all at Aston University students who attended and to Mel Spencer for organising it for me to be there. MWAH! I would like to thank the free styling rapper who made a rap about me but I never got his name other than he was Canadian (from Vancouver) and loved science.

A rather surreal moment was dancing at the end of the night only to realise I was surrounded by people in white lab coat, it felt all too horror movie waiting to happen for me so moonwalked (yes moonwalked! *SHAME*) out of the circle and ran for cover at the bar.

Pretty much spending much of today (Sunday) catching up and rehearsing for my next shows. I have glitter all over me but then that’s nothing new. Off to listen to some Big T Tyler…I use some of his music in my acts. Great catchy beats I found. Right, ciao ciao!

Khandie Khisses has performed for BABC. More can be found at: www.khandiekhisses.com

Bella's Backstage

2010-11-02T04:41:00.000-07:00

For some reason, every time I wake up the day after a show I'm always aching all over. I think the rush of performance blocks out any pain receptors and I'll push myself much harder on stage, resulting in my waking up with muscle aches. But it’s a satisfied sort of pain and after a hot shower all that was on my mind was food. Surprise, Surprise...

Not much is open in Hobart on a Sunday in the city centre, as Torsten and I found when we went exploring for food. We found one of those diner style places that looked like it never closes, where they do a reasonable breakfast. Nothing mind-blowing, but we were hungry and I didn't have much time before I had to get back and put my stuff together for the afternoon’s dance classes and tutorials. Next time I'll head straight for North Hobart, as I was reliably informed by the girls, that it is the best place on a Sunday for food.

I was teaching a basics class at Tasmania's Pole Dancing and Burlesque Academy and was amazed how quickly the ladies of Hobart picked up the choreography. It was a very sexy tease to a bit of Screamin' Jay Hawkins and they were totally rocking out to it with their boa's and gloves.

Both Grace Cherry and Lucy Sky Diamond had one to one tutorials with me and I tell you what, I can't wait to see more from these ladies. Aside from being just the nicest girls you'll ever meet, they are extremely talented. I'll be watching with some interest at where their performances go.

So with a full afternoon and evening of classes finished can you imagine what mind was on? Before I left, I got Grace & Sarah's recommendations on where the best fish & chips were and so that's how Torsten and I came to find Fish Frenzy down at the harbour. It was absolutely freezing cold in the loveliest way when we hopped out of the cab and bundled into the very laid back fish & chips restaurant. Glass of rough red, great chips, prawn cutlets, calamari & fish. One fish we liked, the other not so much but unfortunately I can't remember the names of them!

This was followed by an icy walk around the harbour to walk off our very full bellies. Having walked past the Art Hotel, I made a mental note to stop in there next time. Their dessert menu looked wonderful.

Then all the way back around to Salamanca which at night time in the cold with the fairy lights in the trees reminded me so much of Berlin at Christmas. Followed by caramelized fig, green apple, lemon and peanut butter fudge gelato (2 flavours each - I would recommend the peanut butter fudge) at Cargo and I was feeling a strange sense of contentment, as I trundled off to bed for another night's beauty sleep.

I seem to be asked more and more about my skincare regime and personal taste in fashion. I've avoided writing about it because it seems a little self-indulgent of me (not being any expert on make-up) but as there seems to be a bit of interest in the subject, I figure what the heck! This little post is about the make-up and skincare I use.

How do I keep my skin looking great? I don't. I wear lots of make-up on stage which is why it looks porcelain in the pictures but in real life it is an ongoing battle to keep my skin in good condition. Make-up, late nights, a few too many champers and my skin gets positively grumpy with me. I also have extremely fair skin and so am very prone to freckles at the first peep of sunlight through the clouds. In addition to this, the illusion I was under that in passing my teenage years that I would be magically endowed with clear skin has fallen rather short of the mark.

So it's simple for me, 30+ sunscreen, even in winter. Make-up wipes by the bed for those nights I cannot summon the energy to wash my face, or in my make-up case for the trip home from a gig along with a little travel pot of moisturiser. All over body moisturiser, I am religious about this after a shower because the water in the three places I am most, England, Germany and Australia, is very hard and dries skin quickly. My friend Bea DeVile (another Burlesque Against Breast Cancer alumni) has also instructed me to body brush or use exfoliating gloves for lovely legs, but I'm terrible at remembering this.

My other indulgence is the 'Brazened Honey' face mask from Lush. It works like magic when my skin looks really tired. I just need to perk it up before a show, or the day after a show when I want to go out again and not look like I dragged my glittered behind into bed at 6am that same morning.

As far as make-up goes, I seem to stick to my staples. One of my lifesavers in hiding tired under eyes is a concealer called Touche Magique by L'Oreal. I'm pretty sure any illuminating concealer would do though. A decent red lip liner too, I have stupidly sharpened mine to the point where I can no longer see what brand or shade it is, so I'll have to do some investigating! I often use just lip liner all over instead of lipstick for a show as it will not budge, but of course a decent red lipstick for after a show is a must. Also, loose face powder, not compact. Trust me.

Black liquid eyeliner and false eyelashes. They are a bugger to learn how to use properly but once you do, what a difference it makes. I still curse and swear when I'm putting on eyelashes as do most of my friends but it's worth it in the end! I once blogged about another burlesque lass, BABC’s Khandie Kisses I believe, who told me once that she had so many false eyelashes, she thought they might form one giant eyelash and crawl around her apartment. I'm proud and terrified to say that I am at that stage of monster movie eyelash take-over.

As to how to put them on properly, it's all just practise, I'm sorry to say. There’s no secret. One day I promise, you'll get to the stage where you can put them on while on a moving train. You'll still curse and swear though.

Finally, the perfect nail polish. I go pink for 60s and red for everything else. My particular red being a bottle of Chanel 159 Fire Red which, as I hold it up to the light now, I see is over halfway used. Tragedy!

Hair, well when it comes to hair, I am lazy. I'd rather have someone else do it, but I feel it is necessary as part of my sartorial education and I try. Although, I do make more shortcuts than I'd like to admit. I'm in love with my Vintage Hairstyling book by Lauren Rennels. If you'd like to learn how to do your own vintage hair and make-up, there are also a few fabulous classes available. In Brisbane ,see the Facebook page for the Bombshells Academy to join classes and learn everything you need to know on vintage hair and make-up.

So that concludes my ramblings for now. I'll try to do a blog on clothes at some point, if I can focus for long enough!

Bella De Jac has performed a number of times for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer and you can find out more about her at www.belladejac.com

Hobart, how I love thee...

2010-10-11T11:44:00.000-07:00

So...yeah I've officially fallen head over heels for Hobart. It was like someone blended the best bits of Germany, England and Australia and crammed them onto an island with every possible eco-system. Incredible.

On the first day, we flew in over the countryside with the most fantastic view. It's all coves and bays and rolling hills. After checking into our hotel, my brother, photographer Torsten Baumann (of www.b551.com fame) and I did a walk around the centre of the city. I was struck by the architecture ...and the bitterly cold wind! But mostly the architecture, which wasn't difficult to spot as we had to stop every 5 minutes to take photos.

Brisbane has always had a habit of destroying things with a bit of history. Anything interesting and beautiful is torn down to make way for a few more yuppie shops and apartments. Or historical buildings are left to decay until they are no longer salvageable. The people of Bris rally against this kind of insensitivity to historical beauty but it is often to no avail.

So, to walk about a town where the architecture is so eclectic is incredible. Old stone, London style terraced, mock Tudor, cottage, mixed with 60s and modern buildings. But all different. The fact that the city is built on a big slope adds to the visual charm.

Friday night was dinner with the girls at Rain Check Lounge. The girls, and by that I mean the beautiful and talented ladies of Miss Kitty's Meow (headed up by Grace Cherry) made me feel right at home. The restaurant, by the way, was a great Tapas place. Mixed crowd, very relaxed, professional service, interesting (in a good way) decor and fantastic food.

Anyway, aside from the giggling at blown up classified ads of the 'Busty Blonde. Very Friendly' sort that decorated the restaurant walls the girls got me up to speed with a little shop talk about the impending show. When we finally faced the icy cold wind to head off to bed and I felt completely assured that it was going to run brilliantly.

I also learnt (with some jealousy) that Tigerlily's boyfriend is a chef. The girl has the down-low on every eating spot worth visiting! Plus, Torsten found a place called Pretzel World when he popped out for a fag, which pretty much sealed the deal on my opinion of Hobart.

So, we bundled into Tigerlily's car for the trip to Franklin. Thankfully, Grace Cherry had taken my costumes and props the night before so I only had a pile of make-up and hair bits and bobs to cram in the boot.

This trip was to be our only opportunity to see some of the Tasmanian countryside and the trip to Franklin was absolutely beautiful. When we arrived at the Palais Theatre there was a mist rolling in from the hills our enormous dressing room overlooked the River. One other highlight was finding out that Chicken Feed is the place to get glue on crystals and Lady GaGa Cds. Thanks girls!

The usual preparations ensued, hair dramas, eyelash fixing, make up applying, etc, etc. Meeting all the other performers was wonderful and it was a real variety show. We had a magician, Bob Buchanan for an MC, Lucy Sky Diamond on aerials, Sarah Muir on pole, tango dancers, cabaret performer, all the girls of Miss Kitty's Meow including Tigerlily and Grace Cherry plus Scarlett Jezabel and the bestest stage manager this side of the equator!

Considering the stage was slightly raked, I was concerned as when I did a sound check and run through earlier in the night, it was tilted enough to put me off balance. That, and my dress fell off. Which I appreciate is the point of the act but only when I've carefully timed it. So I was a little nervous going out for my first act. I needn't have worried. The show went perfectly. And I mean perfectly, which never happens! Usually you come off stage thinking, 'I could have done that move better,' or something of the sort but I was so happy with both acts and was on a complete high when I dashed into the wings to put my dressing gown on (a very pretty one mind you!) for final bows.

I was also lucky enough to be waiting in the wings for my final act when I was able to watch Scarlett and Grace do their duet fan dance. Fan-bloody-tastic. I know, groan, pardon the pun, but it was. The colour, the grace, the cheekiness. I just loved it.

Other highlights for me were Tigerlily's bubble act which was absolutely adorable with an excellent use of props and Lucy Sky Diamond with her trapeze act. She has inspired me to finally commit to creating a trapeze performance of my own, what a girl!

Torsten of course, was snapping away. I've also popped a couple of pics up on my Facebook fan page and others are visible at his blog, including a few lovely architectural shots of the theatre.

So feeling somewhat elated we all bundled back into Tigerlily's car for the scary ride home. That beautiful mist from earlier had turned into a fog so thick we had to crawl at 40km the whole way home. Some crazy cab driver shot past us like a bat out of hell while we were on one of the most impossibly thick spots where we couldn't even see where the sides of the road or lanes were. I don't know if he had x-ray vision or something.

Later, we found out that Grace Cherry's cab driver was also driving like a maniac all the way back to Hobart. Seriously people, if you are paying for it, you have a right to tell them to slow down. Not a fun way to end a night thinking you might die at the hands of a kamikaze driver.

Anyway, a brief mar on an otherwise perfect evening.

I absolutely collapsed into bed with an enormous sense of well being and looking forward very much to a sleep in!

A video from our friends....

2010-10-06T08:58:00.000-07:00

Burlesque Against Breast Cancer friends, Jimmy Cairney of the Bobby McGees and Kate Kamikazie have gotten together and done this...

More Good Times...

2010-09-29T04:10:00.001-07:00

Introducing.... Goodtime Mama Jojo

2010-09-29T04:05:00.000-07:00

Burlesque legend joins Burlesque Against Breast Cancer

2010-09-29T03:48:00.000-07:00

Hello Folks,

It gives me nothing but great pleasure to announce the news that BABC have themselves a new recruit on the management team. She is a British burlesque legend and her name is Jo King.

Jo has had over 30 years experience in performance and is the founder of Europe’s original burlesque training academy. She is the founder of the London School of Striptease and the London Academy of Burlesque, where she has taught over 10,000 women and not to mention a few of us guys too. Specifically, Jo has worked with people with disabilities and more recently, has taught burlesque those who have gone through breast cancer.

Why did she do this?

“I want women, all women, to feel fabulous about themselves regardless of age, shape, size or ability!”

AT BABC, we think that this is the perfect attitude of what we want to achieve and showcase, especially within the realms of Breast Cancer. Because this crippling disease shouldn’t hold back or hinder anyone from doing what they want. I mean, if Def Leppard can have a one-armed drummer, then....

Jo has collaborated with many well-known names including: The Erotic Awards, The International Workshop Festival, Seven Dials Festival, Coco de Mer and the UK’s biggest Burlesque Jam at the Royal Festival Hall. She also has an impressive list of television appearances including; Strip School for Channel 5 in 2003, the award-winning Crippendales in 2006 and more recently, Dawn Gets Naked (with Dawn Porter) for BBC3.

Jo choreographed showgirl Immodesty Blaize’s original, highly acclaimed, reverse striptease act. She has taught many of the current professional burlesque performers such as Miss Polly Rae, Honey Lulu, and Kiki Kaboom, all of whom have also benefited from Jo’s inimitable choreographic skills and artistic direction. She also choreographs actresses and dancers for film, television and stage work.

Jo is an ambassador for the industry, giving her candid views in the press and on many radio and TV shows. Considered an expert in her field, she is often hired to give her incredibly motivational seminars about self belief and positive body image.

We are very excited about what a difference Jo can bring to Burlesque Against Breast Cancer and how she can help us take the organisation to the next level, thus enabling us to sell more books, put on more great shows for you and raise lots more lovely money for Macmillan Cancer Support.

Mark, BABC

Pin Up Competition and £1,000 donation to Macmillan!

2010-09-27T03:12:00.000-07:00

Hi all,

LoveHoney.co.uk has joined forces with Burlesque Against Breast Cancer to find a new Pin Up girl - and it could be you. If your wardrobe is more Grace Kelly than Lady Gaga, or you fancy yourself as a budding Bettie Page, then LoveHoney.co.uk want to hear from you.

To celebrate the launch of LoveHoney's Pin Ups, their new Collectible Vintage Vibrator Gift Range, they are giving you the chance to win a full professional makeover and photo shoot with esteemed Pin Ups photographer Tony Nylons, the UK's foremost pin-up photographer and editor of Glimpse magazine. You will also get a chance to be styled in fabulously fifties underwear by Kiss Me Deadly.

Enter LoveHoney's £1,000 make over competition and you won’t just be helping yourself. The lovely LoveHoney team is also donating £1,000 to Macmillan through Burlesque Against Breast Cancer to show their support for the cause.

To enter, just visit www.lovehoney.co.uk/pinups and click on £1,000 makeover.

Here's hoping the winner is a BABC supporter. Good luck!

Emily

Emily Dubberley is a bestselling author and the founder of Burlesque Against Breast Cancer. For more visit: www.dubberley.com

Watersports….oh I say matron!!!

2010-09-13T08:47:00.000-07:00

I will admit that despite the title this blog is not about the rather sordid affair of water sports of the sexually perverse type. Instead, I am referring to my recent underwater rehearsals, hot tub antics and general debauchery that has now become standard of a Khandie weekend.

Saturday saw me performing for my first ever Dr Sketchy’s in London (I have done others elsewhere). What a cracking venue!!! I mean honestly, The Old Queen’s Head on the Essex Road is stunning. Claire who runs the whole thing is a dream to work with and I am already looking forward to coming.

I had a great time modelling especially with the rather hot, Luke…hubba hubba. Sadly I don’t have any images of him to flaunt at you, but trust me that boy is damn fine. Damn damn damn fine. There was no hardship posing for 10mins with my head on his lap let me tell you. Calm down KK…..

After the show though, I had to hightail it off to my lovely mate Nikki (who runs www.NikitaSablier.net). You see this luscious lady was celebrating her birthday. I am sure she said it was her 21st…hahaha. It was like meeting up with old mates though, as on my arrival all people from my modelling assignments (photographers and fellow models) were there. Was a really funny evening with much antics spent in the hot tub. No, not in that porno kind of way. One of the highlights was two rather ‘brave’ men donning bikinis to join us in the pool. The party was a smash, lots of naughty photos of drunk people… I was a good girl. I had a shoot/rehearsal next day, so no drinky poosies

So, after crawling out of bed at stupid o’clock in the morning.. Ok, more mid morning, Matt Miller refused to make me a cup of tea, instead making me suffer the awful brew that some adolescent (ok so he was 22) made me….it was awful. YUCK! Cue me stealing bacon from the bacon sandwiches that Geetee had made and before I knew it, I was on my way to Aylesbury.

The lovely people at Scubaducks had offered me the chance to use their scuba training pool to rehearse my commissioned underwater mermaid/watersprite act. Along with Baron from Immortal Eye Photography, we started some basic warm up exercises…and then (near) disaster.

How can I put this… you see, I have a fairly large chest on me and trying to stay under the water deep enough to rehearse was impossible. My mammaries/tits/boobs/chest-icles/bazookas/top bollocks/puppies were proving to be good flotation devices. Oh there’s a salute to Mae West (whose name was used as a nickname to life saving vests back in the day) and after 3 kilos (!) of lead shot were added to keep me down (hahahaha), rehearsals could get under way. Though firstly, I needed to get used to the water its self (needless to say a lot more rehearsals are required) and thankfully, Scubaducks are more than accommodating! Thank you, guys I owe you!

FYI, if you like my swimsuit it’s from For Luna …perfect pinup! So go buy it! I have it in red, black and leopard print.

Next rehearsal will see some more experiments with movement under the water so hopefully I will have video footage to show you…here’s hoping at least.

Right now I am in Bournemouth this weekend. Off to see my friends and watch a burlesque show (Teasy Pleasy). My mate’s (past BABC performer) Glory Pearl, Vie, Sensu’Elle and Paul are all performing in various capacities so should be a great night. Will no doubt blog and abuse photos for you all later.

Ciao! Off to paint my nails ready for tonight…oh the glamour! Hahaha....

Backstage at the Bombshell Ball

2010-09-08T05:03:00.000-07:00

I'm still on a high from the uber-exertion of Go-Go dancing the night away so I thought I'd write a few lines to share about the goings on at my first Australian gig, The Bombshell Ball in Brisbane.

Being back in my hometown it was the first time my family and a few of my friends would see me perform live. Luckily, it seemed that this didn't affect my nerves at all and I had a fan-bloody-tastic time. I might have been itching to get back on stage too, which probably had a lot to do with it. It's been at least 2 months now and possibly the longest hiatus since I started.

The venue was The Globe theater, which I came to understand is run almost entirely by volunteers who want to keep this beautiful venue for live music and performance open. I can only guess that it was once a cinema due to the slant of the floor in the main room, making dancing a little difficult, although it didn't stop the crowd.

But oh my, the stage! I love a big stage. Complete with a lovely dressing room. Mmmmm.

Torsten Baumann was taking photo's backstage which is where the pic above came from. To see more, go to his blog:

www.b551.com/pixelpost/index.php.

His photos really capture the magic of the show.

Well I got great feedback so I can only assume that the Brisbane audiences like what I do! Phew!

Blondie for Beulah

2010-09-04T05:28:00.000-07:00

Life Changes

2010-09-04T05:12:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

BABC kindly asked me if I would like to write a little something and being one for a challenge, I thought I’d give it a go (those of you that know me know I’m not much of a writer more of a talker…Ahem!), so for all those who don’t know much about me I thought I’d give you a little bit of background on Beulah Bell.

I grew up in north London and danced every since I can remember. I still hear my Ballet teacher Mrs Swan chanting “good toes, naughty toes” in my head every now and again. As I got older, I grew bored of the restrictive dance classes & longed for more freedom to express myself, so at 18 I found myself stepping into Sophisticats one of the more ‘Klassy’ strip clubs in the West End to audition.

My legs were shaking, my heart pounding with a thousand thoughts running through my head as I waited behind the curtain for the DJ to announce my name. As soon as he did though, all those feelings just disappeared and I just ripped back the curtain and I strutted on to the stage, like I’d walked on stage so many times though out my youth but this time it was different, this time I was going to take my clothes off….

The rush of being on stage, the lights beaming into my glitter encrusted eyes for the next 6 minutes and 33 seconds I drifted in to the most beautiful place being carried by Blondie’s Rapture that by the end of my audition, I was blissfully embracing my nakedness & I strutted back stage on the biggest high I have even known. I knew then that I loved the tease!

I know what you’re all thinking Burlesque is different to just stripping. Well... To be honest, it’s not.

By 21, I was working in the club that changed my life, Sunset Strip in Soho London, one of the oldest clubs around. It had the most amazing atmosphere it was like stepping back in time whenever I walked in there, not like any other club I had worked in we only performed on stage where we got tips. It was more like an old burlesque club of the 1950’s than a modern day strip club each girl had their own unique style from gothic to cheese cake, Sunset taught me how to really be myself & set me free. It was then I decided I wanted to get into burlesque, but at that point the revival was pretty small & very hard to get into, so I put it on the back burner for the next 5 years. Those years were lost in a blizzard of glitter and fairies and without a doubt, those fairies shaped the performer I have become.

So at 26, my dancing life was cut short. It was a Monday night at Sunset. I had been at college for the last 8 months studying art & design, my life was pretty hectic I was on the go 24/7. This night though, I didn’t feel right at all my stomach was in knots & I had to fight back my tears of pain on stage, usually I could mask anything on stage as I would be taken to that beautiful place & everything would just slip away and it would just be me and the music but not tonight. And unlike me, I cut my show early and staggered up the stairs with tears streaming down my cheeks. I was taken to hospital where I stayed for a month after major surgery, following a small bowel obstruction.

Six stone, a nine inch scar, no job, no money & unable to finish my college course, I fell down a pit of darkness. I had never been anywhere so bleak so lonely. I had no dreams, no inspiration, no creativity, then Amber Rosia & I founded Ragdoll Rebels & my life turned round. We decided to put on our own Burlesque/Polesque (Burlesque on a Pole) club nights & launched in July 2009 at The Embassy Club in Mayfair.

Burlesque really saved my soul. We performed & promoted our nights all over London and with each performance, my confidence slowly returned but then a year later, I sadly stopped working on Project Ragdoll (the nature of promoting was too stressful & as a performer I was not cut out to handle that at all) and at the same time something very odd happened. A magician found me & I landed a magicians assistants role (something I had dreamed about since I was very small) for the legend Simon Drake at his House of Magic. All I needed now was some stability, some security for the first time in my life I wanted a…..’PROPER JOB’.

So unlike most Burly acts who come from a life of day jobs & offices & wanting to break free of that I did the reverse. I finally got offered a receptionist position so now performing is for fun. Don’t get me wrong, if I got offer a residency in Vegas I would be off in a New York minute but I’m realistic, I’m not guna be the next Dita & to be really honest, I like the way I have it. Too much glitter can go to a girls head & those days are over.

Well, lots of very exciting things have been happening in the Land of Miss Beulah Bell. The most recent was coming runner up in Bizarre Magazine & having an amazing shoot with seven smokin’ hot chicks, which is featured in the October issue! The day was fantastic. Eight half naked girls running about a beautifully run down Edwardian house in Shoreditch, whilst being snapped by a fantastic photographer, Joe Plimmer.

On the Burlesque front, I have been doing quite a few gigs at Volupte for their Circus Nights with Miss Amber Rosia and we have been performing our ‘Lion Tamer’ act which has been great fun!

I had a spectacular night down in Southampton once for the Uni Ball at the Guild Hall alongside the wonderful Tia Brodie (Britons Got Talent) & also at Roxy Twirls’ ‘On a Night Like This’ (a Kylie tribute night) where I got to perform my first ever act I came up with, the LoCo Motion & the Classic 2 Hearts!

I was also down in Bournemouth for Cherry Pop’s Butterfly Ball which was absolutely fantastic & performed at Café De Paris for the TVX Birthday bash. Amber Rosia, Angelita Alahambra & I are the resident performers at The Cheeky Cabaret at The Live Room, in good old Palmers Green returning on Tuesday 5th October (only £3 entry) with an array of fantastic acts including my dear friend Rio Wild. Watch out for shameless FB promotion!

http://www.theliveroomlondon.com/home

Beulah Bell has performed for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer and will be performing next at the House of Magic on the 24th September. Tickets are available: http://www.houseofmagic.co.uk/public.html

One Bank Holiday, Two Nights out,Three Cities (ish), One Speeding Ticket and A Film

2010-09-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

So you can guess from the title of this blog I have been a manic lady once again…nothing out the ordinary there then??!!

Well you would be wrong as I dont make it a habit to get speeding tickets. Damn my heavy foot and damn the rather dishy policeman who caught me with his snazzy camera on my way home from Northampton. I will put my hands up and say SORRY… not that it will stop me getting the fine and points. GRIM.

Well first things first this lady left work on Friday (i mean vanilla work) to Aylesbury to see my best buddy Big S. He and I go way back to my military days….I love Big S. Especially when he cooks for me…Sausage n mash! My favourite. I may not be the classiest of birds but I am true to my roots of british grub!

The next day I flew up the motorway towards Telford to see a good mate of mine Steve B (former singer with the metal band Vert). We headed off to Wolverhampton for the night…and I was shocked. Not only did we get two double JDs n cokes for less than £8 (hey I live in London) but also that two pubs played S Club 7 and Las Ketchup. It was like the last 15 years hadnt happened. Steve and I quickly sunk our drinks and headed off to his favourite metal/rock club The Planet. aaahhh the plusating beats of metal and rock…

By the time we got our asses home by way of a lovely taxi driver who put up with my singing, Steve’s stupid questions and both our drunken ramblings I was ready for bed….SHATTERED.
By morning though Steve dragged my weary ass off to have a bite to eat…namely a roast dinner! I mean WTF….I was hungover! But dutifully tucked in…only stopping when I realised it wasnt gluten free (wheat allergy!). Damn it…

Anyway I couldnt hang about too much as I had to race off to Northampton to see Luli Blue a lovely mate of mine and fellow burlesquer. I adore this lady…not only is she wonderfully yummy she also owns her own burlesque/belly dancing studio. That night Luli dragged me off to this tiki bar tucked away in Northampton town centre. I would never have guessed it was there if I hadnt had her with me. Its called Hakamou and is lovely! I had a fair few cocktails that night (non alcoholic admittedly) but couldnt have better service or better drinks. Each one I sampled was delicious. Strongly recommend you go. I am definitely going next time…I may even see if I can hire the place for a private party…or shoot.

The next morning both of us were up early so sadly we couldnt stay and party the night away….
The bank holiday Monday had to have been the most surreal and oddly enjoyable days of my life so far. Ok so that does sound mushy but its not everyday you get to go over lines for a film with a man none other than the world renown ALAN MOORE!!! and to not only have him but Mitch Jenkins to direct/film it! Mitch and I have worked together with Alan before to create the Dodgem Logic burlesque issues (along with Luli and Darkteaser!). I had an absolute blast and cant wait to see the results though more filming is to take place…I wont tell you anything about the script as thats just not ethical but I am excited.

Having the three of us girls in the same room (Darkteaser, Luli and I) was a recipe for chaos and before long we were all howling with laughter and telling rude jokes. Just like old times. Not sure why I dont have a picture of Darkteaser….oh well. She is a gem. I even got to have a longish chat with Mr Moore himself which was wonderful as I was rather nervous of meeting him again…the first time I met him I honestly had no idea who he was. I just thought he was a lovely (albeit very hairy) man with cracking smile and a good sense of wit. Now that I know more about him I was worried I wouldnt be able to string two words together let alone go through scenes with him…damn it. Thankfully his jokes and loveliness put me at ease…that and him saying a certain word over and over again…I wont tell you what it was as it will spoil the film.

Anyway one speeding ticket later, a long drive home and I found myself tucked up in bed ready to sleep. aaahhh randomness rocks my socks.

Ciao ciao!

For more on BABC alumni Khandie Kisses, go to: www.khandiekisses.com

Guest Blogger: Kiki Kaboom

2010-05-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

Spring 2010 is here and that means one thing in the world of burlesque, The London Burlesque Festival. So we asked one of our previous performers who was a major part of the festival, Kiki Kaboom to keep a little journal for us. The chavvy, geek to freak star and winner of the Best Newcomer Award at last year's festival, gave us this.

Bumped by a one-legged man from Iraq

I had a slightly inauspicious start to the London Burlesque Week 2010. Picture this: 11am at the Cafe de Paris, Tuesday 20^th April 2010. I’m in full hair and make-up, having cycled from Brick Lane to Piccadilly Circus in costume. (One of the many great things about living in this city is that no one bats an eyelid). Slightly bleary-eyed since going into burlesque full-time, rising before midday is anathema to me - we waited for London Tonight’s news team to come and film us for their evening edition. But the best-laid plans cannot compete with servicemen returning from the front-line, running marathons for charity. And neither should we. We get bumped. Hey ho, I said to the Halo PR girls as I got back on my bike. It’s fair enough - all we’ve got are tits and glitter....

Norwegian Fan Clubs

Fast forward six hours and I’m back at the Cafe de Paris for the Red Carpet Rollout. It’s tits, glitter and then some. The buzz is infectious. Volcanic ash cloud or not, it seems everyone who’s anyone is here, from movers and shakers of the international burlesque scene, to Chaz Royal and Beeby Rose, the new power couple of burlesque. Press and photographers mill about, mingling with the performers, taking shots and soundbites. As Best Newcomer (London Solo) LBW 2009, and having had a pretty damn good year since, I have a unique press-worthy angle on the proceedings, and am interviewed by several publications. It’s great fun. I consider making my tales of 2009 more and more wildly exaggerated – I perform on a floating stage for Saudi Royal Family. Yes, I have a registered fan club in Norway. No, I never wear the same knickers more than once. But I restrain myself and smile (smoulder? pout? gurn?) for the cameras.

Nice To Meet You Guv’nor

Cafe de Paris is a gorgeous venue, and the surroundings are appropriately decadent for such a celebratory opening showcase. Backstage is teeming, but the atmosphere is warm, convivial, if slightly frenetic. I am only there for the Red Carpet Rollout portion of the evening, and am looking forward to that rarest of occasions for me – actually watching a burlesque show rather than participating in one. Sean Mooney, ever-calm stage manager of the proceedings, manages to get 25 chattering burlesque performers to wait patiently in line in alphabetical order, the most impressive yet most unsung feat of the festival. I am sandwiched between Fifi Fatale and Lady Beau Peep. In front of me is Chrys Columbine, a vision in pink and black. To my right, Equador the Wizard is grappling with his perennial costume dilemma - to turban or not to turban. I hear a gratifying cheer emanate from the audience as the fabulous Ivy Paige announces me. Trying to look simultaneously pleased but not pleased with myself (failed), I walk onto the stage to soak up the applause, and this is when I wished I had thought more about what I was doing. Instead of posing, waving, ANYTHING, I do an unfathomable bob-like curtsy, like a Dickensian orphan meeting the Queen. Completely nonplussed, I scuttle down the red carpet to the blue room at the back. I’m sorry, but the Americans are SO much better at this sort of thing than the Brits.

Stockings Vs Tights

LBW this year was a huge occasion for me, not least because I was booked by Chaz to perform at the VIP Closing Ceremony, but also as I had the privilege of hosting the Newcomers Contest this year. It was held on Friday 23^rd April at a new venue for the festival – the O2 Academy in Islington. Usually the home of thrashing rock bands rather than sizzling striptease I’m pretty sure they’ve never seen anything like it!

I’ve been hosting more and more over the last few months. It’s a massive challenge, but a very welcome one. It’s always good in this business to have more than one string to your bow. As Catherine D’Lish said recently said, performers have to diversify to stay ahead of the game, and I wholeheartedly agree. There aren’t many women out there doing it, and I think it’s important not to let the men out there have all the fun of compering, particularly when the stars of the burlesque scene are invariably female!

To go from competing as a newbie to hosting the showcase the following year – well, it was a pretty big deal for me. I felt very protective of the entrants, some of whom I know very well, and while it was an exhausting job – Equador and I had over 20 acts to introduce – it was a wonderful evening. Battle Royale indeed! The competitive element to this showcase means the all performers give everything they’ve got, and it’s tremendously exciting to know you are seeing the burlesque stars of the future.

And also, I’ll be honest, it’s kind of nice to know you can wear tights pulled up to your waist and not give a damn as you won’t be taking anything off. That’s the difference between being a burlesque performer and a burlesque host right there – hosiery.

By the end of the night I have my favourites, and I’m happy to say that they both eventually won Best London and Best UK Newcomers respectively - Pixie Frisk and Ginger Blush!

Ug, Ug, and Thrice Ug

Sunday 25^th April 2010, Cafe de Paris. The Closing Gala. The night I would duet with the irrepressible Armitage Shanks and perform my Judy Garland act at the evening’s climax. And - the day after my birthday. Come the 3pm call time, dark glasses, Red Bull and a cuddle from Armitage were in order. But the wonderful thing about adrenalin is that once it kicks in, the hangover is history. You can never underestimate what a thrill it is to perform at an event like this, and also what an opportunity it is for you to showcase your talent. To say I was keyed up for it would be an understatement.

Backstage we had a lot of time to kill. I ambled around, putting a bit of make up on, lolloping off, chatting to Agent Lynch, Ruby Rose (thanks for the amazing hair Ruby! That woman is a hairstyle GENIE), re-crystalling costumes in the craft corner with the Knickerbocker Glories... At the soundcheck Armitage and I decided to use the beautiful spiral staircase as my entrance before I joined him on stage. We would be singing a gorgeously nuanced Tom Waits song – I Never Talk to Strangers - and I would be performing it for the first time. To add to my nerves there was now the distinct possibility I would have my very own Gone With The Wind moment, and tumble down the stairs. (For a burlesque performer, my balance can be truly appalling. I think it’s fair to say I will never run away with the circus). There isn’t a lot of time to rehearse, so it’s even more important to nail it later on! No pressure...

21 Again Dammit!

Time for a few more interviews and photo opportunities before I had to stop playing at getting ready and really begin. The crowd were waiting with murmuring excitement, the show started, and my god, what a bloody show. The standard was exceptionally high, the atmosphere was electric. Finally the time came for Armitage and I to sing, and not only did I manage to stay upright, I also managed to sing passably well. And most importantly, it was such a pleasure to perform with Shanks. Having met him last year at the Amsterdam Burlesque Festival, I really got to know him when I was performing in Seattle in January. Sadly with him being based there and me in London, it will be a while before we get to perform together again.

He thanked me on stage for the song, I was about to merrily trot off, when he stopped me. Not only did he tell the entire audience of the Cafe de Paris what a drunken little stop-out I had been the night before (outrageous! I was in bed by like, 4am), he also spilled the beans on my birthday. And told EVERYONE that I was now 30. Ye gods. Never tell a host your age... As I flushed pink on stage, I had a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday from the crowd. Soooooo embarrassing. But also, a very lovely moment. Thanks Armitage (I think).

Judy! Judy! Judy!

Mine was the last performance of the night proper before the break, and Catherine D’Lish’s headlining spot. I was hugely honoured to have such a great place in the running order. Peeking at a few of the performances from the balcony upstairs, Siren Stilletto, Dinah Might et al had already wowed the audience, and I knew I had to Bring It. The bar had been set at such a high level. My Judy routine is a bit of an epic: her life in eight minutes, sung, danced and strip-teased. I hope it showcases how varied a burlesque performance can be – story, character, humour, pathos, glamour, sex appeal, surprises.... I’m very proud of it.

I’m thrilled to say that I think it was the best I have ever performed my favourite routine. And what a place to have done it. It was the crowning moment of what had been an amazing year for me - may this coming year be even better. I have a feeling it will.

Kiki Kaboom is currently one of the top acts in the London burlesque scene. She was the Best Newcomer at the 2009 London Burlesque Festival and has since performed all over the country and abroad. She performed her infamous 'chav' act for BABC shortly after her win, in July 2009.

A version of this article can be found in the next Burlesque Magazine. Kiki's new website is currently under construction so you find all about her on facebook instead: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kiki-Kaboom/71070309751?ref=ts

Guest Blogger: Joe Black

2009-12-22T11:03:00.000-08:00

Saturday was a lovely day.

Minus the constant fear outside of the venue of slipping on ice and meeting a frozen end. Inside the venue though, was just as cold as outside. I mean, Ocean Rooms, please.... Heating?!

The hearts were warm to join together and raise money for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer in Brighton. All the performers banded together, to hold an amazing show and show us what they had to offer, freezing cold or not. I wore gloves and many layers during the performance, because I'm a sensible chap like that. Mark Farley was such a pleasant man, and made me feel completely welcome, so thank you Mark and thank you everyone who took time out to help out this fantastic cause.

However, the down side for me was the outrageously disrespectful owner of the Ocean Rooms, Ben Gill, who was quite obviously on something(a fact supported by his own members of staff at the venue). He interrupted performance and during the set by MC Elemental, attempting to take the microphone off of him and storming the stage. He could not be ejected, as he was the owner of the venue but he was rude, disruptive and downright irritating. Afterwards, he decided to approach me to tell me he liked my stuff while slurring in my face, inappropriately touching me and generally getting far too close for comfort.

I can honestly say, as anti diva-ish as i am, if I find myself at the Ocean Rooms again, I will not be taking part, if that disgrace is about in full force on the venue floor.

Joe Black is the neo-vaudevillian, real life Disney villain. A gin-addled courtesan, the anti-christ of cabaret and the one and only waltzing cynic... Eccentric to international stages, Joe Black takes to shows in an almost cartoon-esque musical assault, sweeping the audience through deathly showtunes, stomping polkas and heart wrenching ballads. He recently headlined the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer Twisted Christmas Cabaret night in Brighton. www.myspace.com/misterjoeblack

Vivid Soda and Beyond

2009-12-22T10:32:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a crazy weekend. From skidding in my car on the ice in Aylesbury to meeting a inspirational lady.

Despite the heavy snowfall and dodgy driving conditions, I journeyed to Aylesbury through work and see a close friend. The work was ok. Less said the better, to be honest. Admittedly, most of my trip was spent drinking Champagne Sangria and rehearsing my newest act to debut at Vivid Soda on the Sunday. To say I was bricking it would be an understatement. I was however, put at easy after seeing the new custom corset design and created exclusively for me by Lynn of Vintage Lynndy Loo. It a creation to behold. With the added splendour of my beautiful star encrusted bustle and panties from Lucy at Burldoir, I knew the act would be beautiful visually even if anything went wrong.

Vivid Soda is a show I have done a few times and have always performed to a great crowd and this night was no different. Each performer bought something new and exciting: Banbury Cross was her ever beautiful self performing a near nude fan dance and her champagne striptease; there was my beautiful bellydancer Luli Blue who performed a belly dance and a clock work doll act (FABULOUS!); there was the stunning Fifi Fatale who wowed the crowd with both routines: a strip tease and a beautiful art deco inspired routine; Warren Speed entertained as both Charlie Chaplin and then in a double act with the gorgeous, stunning Kiki Kaboom to perform a chav act to end all shows! It bought the house down!

Plus a local lady making her debut! She went down very well amongst the crowd. I have to admit I forgot her full name but it does translate as Madam Naughty. Tee hee! Oh and there was me!

Whilst the show was fabulous to say the least and James Thorpe captured some fantastic images of us all, it was two particular audience members who stole my heart for the night. I wont spill names due to reasons that will become clear. Both were clearly in love with one another but it wasn't that that made my heart break.

The woman informed me she had breast cancer. I was shell shocked to say the least I mean she looked healthy and vibrant (ok so not all people are sick, pale and withering but she seemed genuinely chuffed with life), she was smiling as she FINALLY gets to have massive breasts, which were her words!

She was excited that after the surgery she could have implants. Her sunny outlook on the whole situation made me realise that this disease isn't all doom and gloom and has some positive outcomes, for her at least. Her husband seemed immensely proud of her. I nearly cried like a soppy bugger, especially when I learnt he was off to Afghanistan soon. So instead of snotting everywhere, we danced and posed for photos together.

A truly fantastic weekend of all sorts of reasons.

Khandie Khisses performed for BABC recently at the Dirty Dicks show. You can find all of her lovely brilliance at www.khandiekhisses.com

Photo by Derek Bremner for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer

Bacchus By Any Other Name

2009-12-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

It is currently nearing on 2am as I appear to have out-slept myself. So I thought I'd tell a little tale about this month so far.

Well the first bit of big news is that I've started working on another act. I'm quite focused on environmental awareness and so this new act will be a balloon pop tribute to our Honey Bees. What else could I call it but The Honeypot (Plight of the Honeybee). If there's one thing burlesque allows me, if not demands of me, it is certainly the freedom to come up with the cheesiest names I can. A balloon pop is one of the traditional burlesque acts and as of yet I've not had one because....well, because I HATE popping balloons!

Well actually, I don't hate popping balloons I just hate when they pop unexpectedly. I was the kid that wouldn't join in the balloon popping game at my school friends parties. You know the one where everyone has to hold a balloon between their knees and try to pop everyone elses balloon while keeping yours safe? Creating this should be an interesting process and may possibly see my blood pressure skyrocket.

Next thing for this month was Hula Hooping. I'm currently attempting to collect circus skills like some people collect stamps. Speaking of which does anyone actually collect stamps anymore?

Anyway, as I often say 'I'm proud of my curves' when I really mean to say 'I hate sit-ups and I don't give a damn what you think', I've discovered the perfect antidote to my anti-exercise mentality will definitely be Hula Hooping. If one of those babies isn't in my Christmas stocking this year then I am throwing my toys out of the pram.

I have to say though, that I've been wanting to do a Hula Hooping act ever since I saw a duo at the London Burlesque Festival Newcomers earlier this year. H-O-T. I can't even remember the name of their act but it was a travesty that they didn't win anything.

Finally we have this Friday. I've been planning a trip to Vivienne of Holloway ever since my brothers sent me a gift voucher for my birthday to try on the cutest dress I'd ever seen. I roped Bea Devile into coming along with me (I didn't need to try too hard) as it's always more fun with two. I came away with a dress, and a pair of fabulous high waist denims AND one of their halter tops. If Bea hadn't rushed me out of there to get to the Nikita Sablier sale, I may have maxed my credit card out.

Bea had discovered a wonderful covered arcade near Carnaby St which has no less than 6 vintage stores and Something Hells, the vintage hairdressers of Miss Betty & Mr Ducktail. The inside of the arcade has a courtyard which feel like it's outdoors but is fully covered and currently bedecked in pretty fairy lights. Much nicer than some of the nasty (there's no other word for it) Christmas displays already up all over the place.

Oh but we had run out of time to look at all of the shops so we had already planned our next visit for December as we had tea and cake at Candy Cakes to get our energy back before our respective journeys. Candy Cakes have the most incredible looking muffins. Brightly coloured icing and topped enormous marshmallow and jelly shapes, they really do look the part in their little turquoise giftboxes.

Unfortunately they were a bit sickly sweet for my tastes but very cute looking nonetheless and kept me going for the next few hours of London traffic hell. In fact, I was lucky to arrive at Nick Von Fiction's place with enough time to down a half glass of red wine before we jumped in a cab to the venue.

We had been planning on trying out some vintage style photographs in Die Freche Muse venue for a while. Unfortunately, my issues with the traffic left us limited time but with the time we had Nick worked wonders. He'll try to tell you otherwise but he really is a bit of a clever clogs with his lighting.

I managed one costume change before the doors opened for Die Freche Muse and some of the results of our shoot should be up on the website before long.

Throughout the shoot, one of the other burlesque performers for the evening, Laurie Hagen was waiting downstairs. Laurie has one of those incredibly expressive 1920s faces and as I saw later in the night her act was just gorgeous.

Once the doors had opened, I took my things upstairs to the dressing room where the house cat was on hand to inspect all our things. At one poin,t as Laurie and I were getting ready, he had us in stitches as he crawled under a sheet and was just swiping with one paw at Laurie's feet. Once he realised we were no longer playing, he decided to throw himself at the 30 cm space between us which resulted in us both squealing like little girls and him nearly clearing the bed.

Often at these events a lot of the night is spent upstairs or backstage if you will, chatting with other performers and friends of the promoters. I had the opportunity to chat with Millicent Binks who looks almost exactly like a china doll, so delicate! And briefly met Sumi Sumatra although I unfortunately didn't get to see her act.

I did discover that we had the same pants on however and I wonder if the audience thought there had been a bit of costume sharing going on backstage.

As ever with Die Freche Muse, I didn't get back home until after sun up. The Baron von Sanderson was late to this party though as he'd been filming for Come Dine With Me. I'm dying to know when his episode airs!

You might have noticed the title of this blog, Bacchus by any other name. A tribute really to a man who reminds me ever so much of a cross between Bacchus, or Dionysus in other mythology, and a very naughty little boy. Although I suppose Bacchus was just a very naughty little boy really. Whether he's taking everyone over to the bar for another champagne or swooping a lovely lass up for a dance, he is ever the otherworldly host. So Baron, well done for another wonderful Freche Muse!

Well that's enough writing for tonight. BW is tugging at the sleeve of my dressing gown to come watch a film before bed. Sometimes he reminds me quite a lot of a cat. If you've ever owned one you'll know how much they like to get in between you and the computer screen with a 'What is this strange thing you're giving far too much attention to? Here, let me remedy that' kind of look as they plonk themselves on the keyboard.

Night all...x Bella

UD now on the iPhone

2009-12-11T04:26:00.000-08:00

For those iPhone users, you can get an app for your phone with the book on it!

How cool is that?

http://www.apptism.com/developers/andrews-uk-limited

Introducing... Khandie Khisses

2009-12-08T13:54:00.000-08:00

Recently, I had a bit of a marathon mini tour of England.

Firstly I went from London to Preston, then Preston to Northampton, then Northampton to Exeter, then Exeter to Torquay, Torquay to Plymouth and finally Plymouth to London and then home.

MANIC. National Rail got practically all the way which was lovely to be able to snooze on the train between performances. No smelly BO infested person sat next to me either which was lovely though mildly/oddly disappointing. Have had this been a regular occurrence for me whenever I go by train I felt somehow ripped off for my ticket when I didn’t get one.

So one highlight for me was performing for the legendary Alan Moore (of V for Vendetta and Watchmen amongst others fame.). He is launching a new magazine called Dodgem Logic. GO BUY A COPY! Its awesome!!!!

I was rather star struck by it all. Darkteaser, Luli Blue, Nicole A Lure and myself tasselled and twirled our ways through the shows. It was lovely to be back with old friends and enjoy ourselves. Special mention to James and Anna Thorpe, Tamsyn Payne and Joe Brown for looking after us all. By the way Nicole is behind the Hourglass photographic company. A lovely present for any lady!

Exeter was another personal highlight as I got to see the multi-talented couple The Bells AKA Kinky and Quirky Burlesque N Boogie. Mark and Sarah have managed to create one hell of a burlesque night out in a town that had never seen burlesque before. People come from all over to watch their shows. I spoke to people from Canterbury and Cardiff who had come to see the show. I performed along side the rather ravishing Soup De Jour (her cat act is amazingly fabulous) and the ever magnetic Equador the Wizard (GO SEE THIS MAN PERFORM!) He bought the house down with his final act and I HIGHLY recommend you go see him! Mark Bell is also a talented artist. His work is very highly admired and so much so I am looking to purchase a painting myself.

As Kinky and Quirky is based in my home town I often feel odd coming back but Mark and Sarah make you feel so welcome its fantastic to be there. I adore performing at their shows and cant wait to go back.

Plymouth saw me staying in a cold but still pleasant enough hotel as I was performing at Annabels. Admittedly I was nervous as I had never performed there before but needn't have bothered to be.

A cracking band (the Faux Fur Full) was playing some pretty rocking tunes very Big Voodoo Daddies sounding though they covered a lot of similar band songs. Though there was no specific stage to perform on Annabel (owner and name sake) managed to clear a space in front of the band for myself and two new performers (Midnight Caller and Midnight Iris). The crowd were lovely even though some were rather drunk. I loved all the gold mirrors and chequered flooring. Andy who helped to run the club was so cute! He danced backstage with us girls...proper snake hips going on. Annabel was nice too. She runs a tight ship which was good to see.

Anyway, before long I was back in London and in Nikita Sablier dancing in her shop window to celebrate her one year anniversary of the shop opening!

Khandie Khisses performed for BABC recently at the Dirty Dicks show. You can find all of her lovely brilliance at www.khandiekhisses.com

Photo by Derek Bremner for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer

Introducing… Beulah Bell

2009-12-08T13:08:00.000-08:00

Well I have had the craziest few months, from being and unemployed to having 2 fantastic jobs.

I had a little break in Oct/Nov form the Burlesque stuff to start a new office job - something's gotta pay the bills you know! And I started training at Simon Drake's ~ House of Magic.......as Magicians Assistant.

OMG.....It has always been a secret dream of mine so I have been on cloud nine, although its been quite demanding working full time and preparing for the magic shows I have enjoyed every minute of it.

And I had my first show on Friday 4th December which was amazing I feel so honoured to work for such an amazing Magician and with the most professional and wonderful team at the HoM.

We have Public shows their on the 10th, 16th & 17th December if you would like to see the best magic show in London!

I have had 2 Amazing shoots with the legend Terry Mendoza at The Retro Photo Studio the first produced some beautiful Cheese Cake images for my personal promotion and the second was for the Rock-Billy clothing company ~ Collectif for their 2010 Calendar where I will be Miss March and 50% Miss June with the stunning Abby Bambilabomba Shields.

I am just getting the final airbrushed copies coming through of my first shoot now as Terry has been so busy so I will post them as I get them. I had such great results I will be going back for another shoot in 2010.

My next public Burlesque show is on the 19th December at The Christmas Carnival @ Bar Form in Enfield Town, its free entry and there will be lots of fun festive things happening over the weekend there. I will be performing my Santa Baby act at around 8.30pm so get down early.

I have also been preparing my act for Roxy Rendezvous 'Alice in Wonderland' event that's in Southampton in February, I playing the Caterpillar with a spectacular transformation...not to be missed. Tickets can only be purchased from Roxy direct. To book your tickets, email: roxytwirls@yahoo.co.uk or telephone 07815 967791.

Well I think that's it, other than a massive thank you to all my close friends & James who have been so supportive and encouraging and have help me out in lots of different ways I owe ya big time and I love you all to bits!

Beulah Bell has been one of BABC's most enthusiastic and dedicated performers. She first performed for us in Soho when we took over the Book Club Boutique at our Spring Fling, where she adapted her act with a special tribute to breast cancer awareness. For more info, visit: www.myspace.com/missbeulahbell

The Bunny is Back!

2009-12-03T07:10:00.000-08:00

Club Smooch Backstage

Ok, I realise I have been a little quiet as of late but that's only because I've been hard at work creating my first true comedy act.

I always have a couple of pages of act ideas at all times and picking ones I want to work on is so hard because I want to do them all! But I must stick by my own mantra of less acts, better quality.

Last time I was in town before a Club Smooch after my sound check and run through I popped out to pick up some false eyelashes. It just so happened that the local costume shop was having a sale of it's ex rental costumes. I wasn't expecting to find anything but I had a bit of a snoop amongst the rails and found a scraggy looking bunny costume.

I've always wanted to go to Halloween dressed in a big fluffy bear outfit, if only so I could run up to people and cuddle them like an overgrown teddy bear. So I was drawn to the bedraggled looking bunny. I managed to talk them down from the overambitious pricing and left the store with a new act in the bag. Well not quite, but you get the picture.

Music was the next stumbling block. I knew I wanted to use Run Rabbit Run, simply for the fact that the cheeriness of it would juxtapose so nicely against what I was going to do to this poor little bunny. But how to finish it.

A chance evening in with nothing to watch but 'Top 100 sexiest music videos' was to be my saviour. Never mind thatthe woman co-hosting sounded like she should have been on one of those ads that crop up at about 1:30am. You know the ones I'm talking about, 'Sexy girls in your neighbourhood are just waiting for YOUR call.' Nonetheless, I found myself tapping my toes to a completely over the top pop/hip hop song and voila! I had my music.

The process was a lot of fun for me. More acting than dancing, it was just a bit of silly fun. I could never have predicted just how much the audience at Club Smooch was going to love it. The reaction was overwhelming. I often have people come up to me after a show to say they liked the act, etc. This time I had people copying the bunny moves!

Speaking of Club Smooch, all puns aside, the Halloween event was a hell of a night! I also performed my La Belle Femme en Rouge act which was the complete opposite of Rabbit Pie. It's a 30s jazz era fan dance with an exquisite costume from Curve Couture. You can see it here where Vanessa, our Club Smooch maid has snapped me backstage waiting to go on.

Chrissie (boss lady at Curve Couture) also had a fashion show during Club Smooch. Her fashion shows are never ordinary and although I saw them rehearsing and had a little peek from behind the curtain backstage I didn't get to see the full show until I was going through the footage from the show with Bob on Saturday. Wow! It was very, very sexy.

In fact, on the Halloween night I was onstage no less than 4 times! We all got out on stage for a boogie to one of Trixy Vixens songs Moloko, and I was also part of the Club Smooch Troupe. It reminded me of all the things I miss about theatre. In particular a nice Sunday roast before rehearsals!

Posed in the window on a Triumph motorcycle

2009-11-25T09:25:00.000-08:00

Toronto is a beautiful city. There's no doubt about it.

It's essence brightly burned an unidentified, distinguished colour this third of October, despite the title of the extraordinary event which takes place. Nuit Blanche is an "all night contemporary art-thing" sprawled across the wide girth of the city, rocking its shit from sundown until dawn.

Originating in Paris, the concept quickly caught fire and spread around the globe to art-avaricious insomniacs alike. Toronto swallowed it without chewing and banged it's fork on the table for more. Celebrating the fourth year of a wondrous pastiche of ephemeral brainchildren on display for the city to soak in and do with as seen fit. Art installations from technology-based mediums to live performance pieces are born and die together. It's a night I always look forward to.

This year, I was fortunate to be a part of a project for the beginning of the evening until two in the morning. Although, it wasn't exactly easy for me. I posed as a model for racy life-drawing sessions for my first time clad in attire attributing the Suicide Girls/Fight Club photo shoot. We froze both for artists, and sight-seeing pedestrians of the night. In my favourite pair of baggy DKNY blue jeans, bare feet, black nail polish, lathered in oil, with an old orange Brownies bandanna, fake tats, a lip ring...and that's it. To accent the aesthetic were two experienced spontaneous Shibari rope-riggers creating designs around our exposed torsos throughout the evening.

I'm a burlesque dancer, very much because of my love to entertain. I adore the human form. It is by far one of the most mind-blowing creations next to underwater caverns, beehives, chocolate and jazz music. I love to celebrate my shape in the midst of an awkward scene between Batman and Robin, after their love has been unmasked and Marvin Gaye's vocals swell onstage.

However, standing still in tableau half-naked without pasties in front of a crowd of discerning individuals even pushes my level of comfort. Some say the line grows very fine, and my judgement a tad pedantic, but whatever I feel is personal and defined by my own rules; I believe in that. In fact, I'm quite shy. My persona is a supa skank, and she loves every minute of it. It comes from a place inside of me, but like any character, it is an embellished extension of a mere aspect of myself. Without theatrics, I feel much more exposed.

I took it as a gracious opportunity to embrace what my Momma gave me, and go full force. It is, after all the body I have until the day I pass. I was astonished by the exhilarating energy, bravery, composure and charisma exhibited by the other six models I posed with. They are a force to be reckoned with, all extremely magnetic in their own right. They helped give me the courage to bare my girls. Some of them being very 'supportive' of my feelings, and cupping them for me from behind en pose, as well as other simulated sex/domination configurations. Woo-eee!

It was a liberating marker for me, and I'm thrilled I overcame the challenge.

The night, of course, did not skip out on cracked out madmen. As I posed in the window on a Triumph motorcycle, a man who did not blink, or look at me when he talked (and who stood way too close), asked me if my temp-tattoo of a python was the mark of the beast, due to having my own dark predator inside me. Trust me, he really didn't want to find out. Then he said he forgot his clothes pins at home... Yeah. Right. That was the savviest pick-up since someone asked me if these were my real eyes. I just sat there and looked mysterious while security escorted him out.

Susie Caboose is Burlesque Against Breast Cancer's Canadian correspondant. She's based in Toronto and for more info, go to: http://www.myspace.com/susie_caboose

BABC lovelies in punk rock video shocker!

2009-11-24T16:14:00.000-08:00

The lovely girls from Femme Ferale were early supporters of BABC, opening the first show in Notting Hill with their routine to The Clash's 'Career Opportunities', a song very synonymous to the area. here they are in the video for 'I Dread The Night' by Gallows. British hardcore punk at it's finest.

Picture by Tania Glyde. For more on Femme Ferale, go to: http://www.femme-ferale.com

Aunt Maren

2009-11-24T14:53:00.000-08:00

My aunt Maren first suffered from breast cancer when she was in her early thirties.
She had recently been through a painful divorce and was a busy doctor with two small boys, who went to stay with their dad and his new wife whilst my aunt received treatment.

I never met my uncle, but there aren't many stories that paint him in a good light.
Family rumour has it that he never wanted a wife who was as successful as he was. Although they met in medical school, he preferred a woman who'd stay at home rather than go out and have a career. So he started sleeping with his secretary, ultimately leading to my aunt seeking a divorce.

During her stay in hospital it was touch and go. She underwent a mastectomy and chemotherapy and my uncle asked his boys to start calling his new wife "mum".

I don't know if they did. Both of my cousins are older than me so I was just a little girl myself, but it shocked me when I heard this story years later that it was just assumed that cancer meant a predictable death.

As it happens, Maren recovered and got her sons back and returning to her successful hospital career soon after. She always seemed a strong (almost stern) woman to me. Someone who didn't suffer fools gladly and didn't like bullshitters.

She was a tough cookie. So it came as a surprise when the cancer returned, almost thirty years after she'd been given the all-clear. It was really discovered by accident, when the hospital where she worked tested a new medical scanner. It showed up multiple lumps throughout her body: lungs, spine, lymph nodes...

Thankfully they'd caught it early. She wasn't having any discomfort at that stage and went back into treatment right away. Both of her sons were adults now: the younger one married to a lovely woman from the Philippines, the older one successful in a career as a city planner.

We celebrated her sixtieth birthday at the same time as her thirty year anniversary at the hospital - she was well-liked and respected, and friends and family from all over the world gathered to celebrate, eat and sing.

Maren wore a cool wig to cover her head, it looked almost better than her old hairstyle. She seemed to have boundless energy and a catchingly positive attitude towards her treatment.

Cancer wouldn't beat her, it had tried before and beaten a retreat instead!

She seemed to have left behind some of her toughness, and instead concentrated on having a good time with everyone who'd travelled to her party from around the globe.

The next time I saw her, for a fleeting visit with my mum (her younger sister) she had dispensed with the wig and wore a colourful headscarf instead. Maren served us a tasty home made soup and we laughed along with her daughter-in-law about strange foods people like to eat in the Philippines. We chatted and listened to classical music. I was still convinced the treatment was working and it would only be a matter of time until Maren got her energy back, but she seemed to be in pain and did things around the house a lot slower than usual.

I think it was a great comfort to her to have her daughter-in-laws support and company as she was going in and out of hospital for treatment.

In the spring, I flew back to Germany for a job. Maren was in a hospice by then, and I was unable to go and see her. My flights were booked at inconvenient times which wouldn't allow me to stay an extra day and make the journey and my elder cousin's work commitments didn't leave him any time to drive me there. My younger cousin was in Asia for work.

So I called her up instead. They were showing the new Pope on the television. I spent my evenings having dinner alone and it was nice talking to a relative. All the energy seemed to have gone from her voice however. She sounded weak and feeble, not like the strong, fearsome woman I was used to. Her breathing was laboured and I chatted on to try and take her mind off her pain-filled day, but I felt awful that I wouldn't be able to go and visit.

I got the impression she didn't really want me to. I know she had friends who came and supported her, but she was a very different person now from the together woman we had all known and respected. I ran out of things to say, it all seemed so meaningless.

"I love you, Maren" I told her before we said goodbye, and we hung up. I had never told her this before, and it's not something members of my family say to each other often. It was the last time I spoke to her.

Back in London, I was looking forward to a visit from my mum and sister a few weeks later - it was the day before my 28th birthday. My phone rang and it was my aunt Cathy, my mum's youngest sister.

"Maren has died" she told me, and I greeted my mother and sister in a strangely detached way. I wanted to be happy that they'd arrived but I needed to tell them the sad news.

"Come on in," I told them and had them sit down in my kitchen before I could say the words. I'd never had to tell someone about the death of their sister before, and I cried along with my mum.

Although this is a story with a sad ending, I think it is a hugely inspiring one at the same time. My aunt brought up her two boys herself. She beat cancer in the first round and saw her sons grow up and become respected adults. She now has two gorgeous grandsons who have never met her, but they are all still very much part of my family. My aunt's picture has pride of place in my grandma's front room, right next to my grandad's picture who died the previous summer, aged ninety.

Maren made the most of the years given to her, she still had a full life although she didn't live to ninety years of age. She was a successful doctor who treated many patients and touched the lives of so many people, all in the thirty years between her first and second diagnosis. Her toughness and positive attitude to life helped her recover the first time around, I am sure of it.

I loved her very much.

Sienna Lewis is the author of the new book, 'The Intimate Adventures of an Office Girl', out now in paperback. You can follow her further adventures over at http://www.siennaslovers.blog.co.uk

Official Burlesque Against Breast Cancer Brighton Portraits Oct 2009 by Stan Keetley

2009-11-02T13:31:00.000-08:00

Marilyn Slightly

The Flirtinis

Honour Mission

Miss Brazen

Bella De Jac

British Heart

Honey Moon

The Flirtinis

Therese La Tease

Bea DeVile and Bella De Jac

British Heart

Bea DeVile

Miss Rose Thorne

Bea DeVile, Marilyn Slightly and Bella De Jac

"I love my boobs. I'm going to use them every day until they start to kill me."

2009-10-29T06:36:00.000-07:00

Here is a great personal account on Nerve.com from Elisheva Wolfe about her fear of one day coming across breast cancer like the three generations of women before her, check it out.

The Flirtinis BABC Brighton Oct 2009

2009-10-25T10:39:00.000-07:00

The Flirtinis from bob on Vimeo.

Honey Moon BABC Brighton Oct 2009

2009-10-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

Honey Moon from bob on Vimeo.

Stella Starr BABC Brighton Oct 2009

2009-10-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

Stella Starr from bob on Vimeo.

Bea DeVile BABC Brighton Oct 2009

2009-10-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

Bea -witched from bob on Vimeo.

Therese La Tease BABC Brighton Oct 2009

2009-10-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

Therese La Tease from bob on Vimeo.

Honour Mission BABC Brighton Oct 2009

2009-10-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

(Let's go) Honour Mission from bob on Vimeo.

2009-10-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

Burlesque Against Breast Cancer 2009 from bob on Vimeo.

Guest Blogger: Khandie Khisses

2009-10-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

My name is Khandie Khisses and I am proud to support Burlesque Against Breast Cancer.

I’m on my way home on a rather lovely Virgin train (first class, oo la la) on my way home from a fabulous burlesque war: Cold War Burlesque, to be exact. Among the fabulous sponsors was my dear friend Peski DeVille who owns Missy Changos and MonkeyBrand. Her performance of a Russian Bride was hilarious.

There were so many great performers. I will list them all once I checked spelling (burlesque names have some funny spelling not least mine). Candee Handful and Honey Wilde had me in fits of giggles with their acts from Thatcher to Adam Ant, what more could you want from a night?!

Whilst the Russian side defeated the British it was lovely to lose to such a talented lot. My fab moment for the night was the sound of the audience chanting my name. I was so taken back by it. You lot certainly know how to make a burlesque girl feel proud. Thank you.

My trip to Oz (Sydney and Melbourne to be precise) is looming and I can't wait. I have plans to shop like a crazy lady at all the corset/pinup shops and see as much Australian burlesque as possible. My own board treading is in Melbourne but more of that nearer the time. I feel sorry my poor folks who I am supposed to be visiting following their recent immigration. I mean they are gonna have to be dragged along to the shows. Though I am sure they won't mind. They like them. I think my folks are my biggest fans, my mom is forever talking about her
burlesque daughter.

Anyway I am going to have to speak to the lovely Jac Bowie to see what shows are on. Burlesque appears to be a universal language... LOL... I can't think of a
country that doesn't have it.

Monday is a modelling shoot, then Wednesday is Burlesque Against Breast Cancer, Dirty Dicks, Liverpool Stn, London. Come along and have a giggle.

Remember to donate generously as statistically one in three of us will get cancer at some point in our lives apparently. Some of us have been touched by it already and some have yet to be. The least we can do is help those who are suffering and make life a little easier.

Love Khandie xxx

Khandie Khisses will be performing for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer at Dirty Dicks, near Liverpool Street on Oct 21st. For more info, go to: www.khandiekhisses.com

Guest Blogger: Calico Cadillac

2009-10-14T06:41:00.000-07:00

Tobacco, asbestos, arsenic, radiation, x-rays, sunshine, aspartame, benzene, lack of regular exercise, alcohol abuse...the list goes on, it seems you can't sneeze these days without getting cancer even if you are clean living.

Three years ago my Grandmother was sent to hospital, she had a strange rash on her chest and bizarre dimpling of the skin around the nipple. This had been something she'd noticed some time ago but had put it down to old age. A strong minded Russian woman and someone who had both of her children at home, she was the type to suggest honey and lemon for tonsillitis and a cup of tea for shock. Failed by the system, she'd never received sex education let alone been informed of the dangers of breast cancer or how to check herself. Stubborn, bossy and perhaps a little rude to hospital staff, she came in expecting to receive a course of antibiotics for what she assumed to be an allergic reaction. Little did we know how harrowing the years to come would be.

It emerged that she had breast cancer. For two long years, I watched a once strong woman go through rigorous chemotherapy and radiation treatments- one of the most painful thing was watching how ill both treatments made her. In that time we also lost my grandfather. I cannot begin to imagine how painful it must have been to lose one's life partner whilst trying to battle one of the biggest killers to date but she made it and fought every step of the way. It was hard to smile through tears when all of this was happening but her strength was inspirational, as someone who was meant to be there for her it was very hard to keep it together.

Three years on and a mastectomy, she is back and better than ever. As much as we moan about the health care in the UK, we have a lot to be thankful for. This year she went on a cruise on her own. She played a nun at a play touring the London Fringe Theatres and even sung at the Vauxhall Tavern, she is one of the lucky few who got a second chance and a fresh outlook on life. Not everyone is so lucky.

Breast cancer is now the second most common cause of death from cancer in women after lung. It remains to be a predominant cause of death within the human race. More must be done to raise awareness, it is lack of knowledge, research and funding that is failing us. I am massively impressed at the effort that has gone to organising this wonderful event, please think of these women and give generously.

Self Proclaimed fashionistas Ms Calico Cadillac and Ms Farrah Fontaine have been creating burlesque loveliness from the second they met. With Farrah's exquisite teeth and Calico's bountiful bosoms and oh so distinctive wiggle, together they hold the ingredients for a tantalising tease of a performance! Fontaine, a keen costume designer creates visual brillance beyond compare with every act holding something more special than the last. Teamed with Cadillac's strong focus on bringing classical burlesque and regency into slightly more out of the norm performce art; they cater for every sense and every occasion.

New Routines, Exciting Times!

2009-10-14T05:52:00.000-07:00

Just in case I wasn’t busy enough with performing about six times this month and trying to sort out my post-university career, I also decided now would be excellent timing to sort out two new routines. I am so full of good and entirely practical ideas! Still, new routines are always fun to create, for the joy of being able to spend all your money on expensive sparkly underwear and soothe your financial conscience with the excuse that it’s for ‘work’ if nothing else….

I got my first ever pair of fans as a present from my parents for finishing my degree and used them for a seaside themed fan dance over the summer, but I decided with November rapidly approaching the likelihood of being booked for a nautical or seaside themed night is rapidly dwindling, so I’m busy reworking things for a slightly darker more winter-appropriate number.

This is really the first time I’ve done a ‘serious’ routine as I’m generally all about the ridiculous plotlines, props etc and I must say it’s given me a lot more respect for performers who do more serious acts. I’ve always thought that creating funny routines was a lot more of a challenge than just ‘being glamorous and taking your clothes off’, but working on my fan dance has altered my views on the matter somewhat! Not being able to rely on keeping people amused via the medium of comedy moustache disguises and pole dancing on hay bales makes keeping things entertaining and ensuring people don’t fall asleep half way through is quite the challenge.

I’m having to ensure I put a lot of effort into costume and choreography to make sure it’s still interesting to watch. On the plus side, I did kinda use the whole having to make sure the costume was interesting thing as an excuse to buy myself some lace print Atsuko Kudo latex I’ve been wanting for years, so that was something of a silver lining to the unforeseen challenges!

I’m also working on a new double act with the lovely Lena Mae which will see me firmly back in comedy territory. Working on double acts is awesome fun and I’m super excited to see how this one turns out, although also a little nervous, as due to the fact that Lena and I currently live a good couple of hours on the train away from each other we only have two full days to get the choreography sorted. Fingers crossed all will run smoothly!

Having said that, me and Lena’s double act performances have something of a history of being a bit of a shambles (injuries from hitting each other in the face, getting stuck in bras, the list goes on), yet always being a lot of fun and going down well, so I’m sure this one will be fine on the night!

I probably shouldn’t tempt fate by saying that, but still, it’s good to be optimistic…

Other than working on my new acts I haven’t been up to an awful lot burlesque related since I last wrote, however last Saturday I was in London for the afternoon to perform for ‘Naughty Sorts presents 1 in 4’, a charity event raising money for Mind. It was a great event and I was really happy to be a part of it, but unfortunately I was struck down by an evil cold of doom two days before the show, and spent most of the time before I went on feeling very sorry for myself and panicking that I was going to sneeze all over the audience. Stripping with a bright red nose and a hideous cold isn’t exactly the sexiest look, but thanks to a combination of an awful lot of makeup and some good old cold fighting on stage adrenaline I managed to battle through without looking too much like death, I think.

Later this month I’ll be hitting the stage in Bath for Club Cadaver on the 22nd and Ministry of Burlesque’s High Tease on the 30th, and debuting my new double act in Hitchin on the 25th, followed by burlesque style Halloween spookiness on Shoreditch on the 31st. After these I’ll be having a nice rested relatively burlesque free November getting my Christmas act ready for December’s shows, so come see me soon!

Miss Dolly Rose is a rising star in the UK burlesque scene. She has performed for BABC in the past and she can be found at www.myspace.com/missdollyrose

Emily Breen: What performing for BABC means to me

2009-10-12T12:23:00.000-07:00

For me performing at the BABC has been a fabulous, uplifting experience (boob pun not entirely intended). It is a celebration of the beauty of survival and of the female form in all her myriad shapes and sizes. I am touched to have been a part of BABC and so looking forward to the next!

Emily Breen is a columnist for Essex magazine The Edge and senior writer for film site HeyUGuys.co.uk. She is currently working on her second novel, How I Fell, seeking representation for her first and writing poems about boobs. The last time Emily read for BABC was the first time she has read in public since she was 14. She liked it so much she is doing it all again at Dirty Dicks in London on October 21st.

The day I helped an old lady escape from a nursing home (a very dark humoured true story)

2009-10-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

I was 15 and living in a small town for a while. I was rebelling against something, not quite sure what and needed money to get to Brighton's bright lights and party as much as I possibly could.

Nothing else mattered. Babysitting jobs took up too many evenings and there were no other jobs going in this limited town. A fellow rebellious schoolmate, a punk called Susan, got a part-time job in a local nursing home. She said there was a cleaning job going. That'll do me, I thought. Even though I couldn't stand old people, they were alien to me. They stank of moth balls and lavender and had no teeth and moaned all the time. Never mind, I thought. My job won't be 'involved' with them, I'm just going there to clean...

The nursing home was a large old detached converted house with a little drive up to the main entrance with hedges and trees along the front wall. On my first day I was told to go around the back and never to use the front door again. It didn't have a doorbell anyway because it might 'disturb' the residents. On entering through the back door, I found myself having to walk through the residents dining area, where the first thing that hit me was the smell. An overpowering stench of decaying humans and the weak watery boiled food that was being served to them. Then I noticed heavy drawn curtains, all windows were shut. There was a dark damp ominous feel to the room, even though it was a beautiful warm spring day outside. The residents looked pale, like ghosts with expressions showing they'd lost the will to live a long time ago...

Suddenly, a woman, the Matron who owned and ran this 'House of Fun' appeared! She had steel blue eyes and the most piercing stare I have ever seen. She must have been in her late 60's, thin with sharp features and very long silver hair swept up into a bun. She was from a different era and there seemed something...dare I say it ..Nazi about her.

She thrust a dirty old dustpan and brush into my hands and told me to clean the carpets throughout the house. I asked her where the hoover was, she looked at me like I had just shot someone,

"We do NOT have a hoover or any machinery in this house, the noise disturbs the residents!"

After a good 2 hrs on my knees and another 2hrs wiping old furniture with a damp old ripped up tea towel from the 1970s (she didn't believe in cleaning products), my back and my knees were killing me and I felt quite sick from the dust and the stagnant air. This little cash in hand job wasn't going to be as simple as I thought.

As the weeks wore on, I began to despise this woman. I was only 15 and I didn't really know what a sadist was, until now. One day, I was on my knees dustpan and brushing one of the bedrooms. All of the bedrooms had men and women sharing with no privacy. Right in the middle of the room was a woman crying. She was naked from the waist down sat on a commode,

"Help, help!"

I stood up to help her, then the Matron apeared and shouted,

"Leave her THERE! She HAS to learn!"

Three hrs later I could still hear,

"Help, help..." coming from that room. I peeked in and sure enough she was still sat there on the commode....

Alice, the one with severe dementia, would wander around in her nightie whimpering and cuddling a little rag doll close to her face like a scared child. She wandered into the kitchen one time when two fed-up auxillery nurses were propped up against the sink, arms crossed, sharing a fag. One of them said,

"Oh for christ sake Alice, SHUT-UP!"

The other said,

"We need to wash that doll"

They prized her fingers away from the doll and when her grasp slipped she screamed and screamed. They cracked up laughing, threw it on the floor and said,

"Oh have it then, FETCH!"

Now, when I took the mickey out of old people it was harmless. A generational thing. Just as one or two would take the rise out of my clothes, hairstyle, music etc. But this was something else! I did tell people about it but I'm sure they thought I was making it up. Well, I was a bit hormonal at the time and hardly ever at home, living a life of escapism.

Another character in the 'House of Fun' was The Major. He was quick off the draw, funny as hell and a randy old bugger! I would try to avoid dust pan and brushing with my bottom facing any door because he would come creeping in and 'THWACK!'

He would skip off laughing and I would be left with a smarting buttock, as well as what was now turning into the common victorian condition 'housemaids knee'.

My favourite resident was a lady called April. The reason why all the doors and windows were locked shut at all times was because of this minx. She constantly tried to escape and to be quite honest with you, I couldn't blame her. Now and again, day and night, a distant rattling could be heard. Well, that was April trying all the doors and the windows. Sometimes, she would put her coat on over her nightie and tell you she had to go and meet her husband. She would say (whilst pulling at a locked door to no avail)

"I have to meet my husband now. I'm late, he's waiting. Unlock the door please..."

Her husband died 20 yrs before. My loathing for old people was diminishing.
One day, the home was short staffed so we were all roped in to help serve lunch, which was some grey slush with a pink watery liquid running through it. Someone had burnt something in the kitchen, so for once they had to open a window. This was ground floor, front facing. I was told to go back and lock the kitchen window. When I walked in, there was April, trying to climb out but just too old and frail to succeed.

Something clicked inside my head. This suddenly felt like 'The Great Escape' or 'Papillion' or 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest', when a treasured moment of freedom is better than no freedom at all. I said,

"Do you need to see your husband, April?"

"Yes, please"

So, I lifted her gently out of the window and placed her on the front entrance outside. I was a big strong girl, so it didn't take much physical effort. I heard myself saying,

"Run April.... Run like the wind!"

As she shuffled off slowly down the drive, I saw her doing tiny baby steps in her nightie. I then locked the window and returned to the dining area. I felt exhilarated and I knew for sure (wherever distant land she would visit), she did too.

An hour later, she was found at the corner of the road sat on a wall admiring a garden. The next day, back inside, she quietly whispered to me,

"Thank you..." as she toddled off to go and try all the doors and the windows yet again. I left soon after, well walked out in fact after telling the Matron,

"Stick your dustpan and brush where the sun doesn't shine, you old cow!!"

A while later, I discovered that before I'd worked there, the home had been on a BBC complaints programme. There had been many bad reports about the place. The matron had defiantly carried on running it for a few years until she died there. Finally it closed. About bloody time too!

Strange how that job gave me a lesson in life, where my lifes adventures were just beginning.....

Honour Mission is a Brighton based burlesque performer and will be performing for BABC at The Ocean Rooms in Brighton on October 16th. Honour lives at: http://www.myspace.com/honourmission

Photo by Stan Keetley

Beulah Bell '2 Hearts'

2009-10-10T02:51:00.000-07:00

My '2 Hearts' show for BABC was inspired by Kylie Minogue and her amazing X album after her battle with breast cancer. I wanted to show strength and hope to anyone who has been affected by cancer and raise awareness for Macmillan Cancer Support.

Beulah Bell performed for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer at the Book Club Boutique at Dick's Bar in Soho earlier this year. For more info, visit: www.myspace.com/missbeulahbell

BABC in London

2009-10-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

BABC in Brighton

2009-10-08T07:24:00.000-07:00

Ruby Demure of The Flirtinis: What performing for BABC means to me

2009-10-08T06:01:00.000-07:00

My grandmother was an impressive figure. Strong, confident and not to be messed with. Wales still has a matriarchal culture and my grandmother was very much in charge of the family. Breast Cancer reduced her to a vulnerable and frail shadow of her former self and eventually it took her away from us when she was only in her early 60s and I was just 9.

It has always felt like a shadow hanging over me, always the silent killer that might be lurking in my genes somewhere. I’ve often thought what a cruel disease it is to take away the very things that define our femininity – our hair, our breasts, and our joire de vivre.

Burlesque is a curious and wonderful thing. I am sure it means many things to many people, but to me it has always been a celebration of all that it means to be female. A celebration of the female form in its many shapes and sizes, of our character, confidence, glamour and humour. It somehow seems a beautiful and entirely appropriate way to support the fight against Breast Cancer and I am privileged to be a part of it.

My grandmother fought it to the end, and the amazing work of charities like Macmillan Cancer Support means that she would probably have survived if she had developed the disease today.

The Flirtinis will be performing for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer at the Ocean Rooms in Brighton on October 16th.

A Little Midnight Magic Part Two

2009-10-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well that's not where my weekend ended. Oh no.

Friday I went into Chrissie's studio for another fitting of the new costume for the relaunch of my Red Angel act. The process of creating a costume is a strange one. From the image I created while curled up in front of a film one night, the idea has sprung forth into reality and each week it gets closer to realisation. Quite amazing really.

Chrissie and I have also had to play around with the original idea as a picture you have in your head is not always possible given the laws of physics. Additionally the 1930s dress design I found and an original 1920s pattern with the most beautiful back line that Chrissie found had to be tweaked and combined to create something that suited the needs of the act, and my figure. I am a curvy girl and as much as I have willowy Coco Chanel fantasies, the 20s dropped waistlines make me look like a hippo. The 1930s silver screen style is much better suited to my frame and looks far more elegant on me. It is all about understanding your own shape.

I grew up in a very large family and my mother had 3 sisters. One for each season you might say, and quite interestingly as far as complexions go, they were. If you've never had a season colour analysis of your skin, do one...now...Google it! Some say this is old fashioned but it has never, ever let me down and if you are wondering, I am a Winter.

Each sister is a different season and each dresses with such style. Add to that a myriad of female cousins and I had a perfect base for learning how to dress to suit myself. When other girls my age were reading Dolly or Girlfriend, I have memories of scouring the pages of Vogue in my aunt's living room. I can't say that I dress with Glamour all the time as I love a pair of jeans and hoodie as much as the next girl, but style I can do.

The same day I also had a meeting with a friend about my new showreel. We met some time ago when I first performed for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer and he shot a little film of one of my acts. We met for coffee to discuss the film shortly after and ever since we've met up every now and then to discuss performances.

Affectionately known as Bob by the Burlesque crowd, he always has some excellent insights and ideas on my acts and it's so nice to be able to discuss them in such a focused way. I feel like I must drive BW crazy sometimes as I'm so burlesque obsessed my nearly every thought is related to act ideas, costumes, vintage, other shows and performers, and so on. I also think I can take the credit for introducing Bob to cupcakes (don't tell his sister!), when the cafe at Waterstones was full and I was craving a sugar hit. So I took him down to Angel Food Bakery on Meeting House Lane which went down a treat.

Bea DeVile, who shares my obsession for cupcakes, had introduced me to this cute little shop which is now one of my favourite places in Brighton. She now regularly tortures me by sending me links to anything cupcake related (did you know you can get cupcakes delivered, like pizza!). Something about their daintiness makes them so incredibly desirable to girls who like pretty things.

Anyway, I'm getting distracted again. The new showreel is quite a nice step for me. Naturally I can't help but pick my own performances to pieces, but any decent performer does. Bob filmed the two acts I did at Club Smooch in September which we've combined and will post on the website shortly under Film. An additional 'teaser' (so to speak!) trailer will go up in a few months time when we've filmed all my acts.

A showreel, along with a website and some good recommendations, is a key part of any performers arsenal, particularly to send to promoters who haven't seen or heard of you yet as it can be difficult to tell a teaseur just from their pictures. Well, after my very busy day, I had to nanna nap before my performance that night. Rock and Roll, I know, but this particular event is always on very late and I knew I would be flagging if I didn't get some rest in. There's nothing less attractive than a sluggish dancer!

Die Freche Muse is already a favourite night of mine, I wrote about it in a previous post 'A midsummer night's dream'. Stepping into this secret London location is like stepping back in time, into a time I belong to. It's fairly unusual for me to be the only performer in the dressing room and I found it quite unusual not to be squeezing alongside a few other girls in front of the mirror.

There were more performers later in the evening, but I had great and good intentions of performing early and getting back to the station for the first train of the morning to Brighton (I told you it was a late show). Did these great and good intentions come to pass? Not quite.

I was performing Living Doll without my big satin gift box and I'd had to do a quick bit of choreography that week to fill in some of the time I would usually spend getting out of the box. Thankfully it worked very well and it was actually quite nice not to be squeezed into a confined space at the start of my act!

I bumped into Nick von Fiction who was at the last one and who also did some pictures for the LustReality show, Striplite back when I first started doing burlesque. Nick got a couple of nice pictures which I'll pop up on the website as soon as I have a chance.

After my act, I managed to catch a few other performers and when I wandered over to the Baron to collect my wages, he was very insistent I stay on for the after party.

'No, no, no' I said. 'I must get the first train home.'

'Have another glass of champagne.' he said and dragged me over to the bar for another Bellini. Well, I can't say it was hard to convince me! I rarely get to stick around and enjoy the party at any show and I was in the mood to enjoy the ambiance of this 20s-30s evening, all the way into the not so wee hours of the morning.

Black and white silent expressionist films play on one wall of the room while the guests dance to the sounds of the jazz band, and clusters of party goers lounge on the armchairs amongst the paintings and lamps while a singer croons in German with a voice like Ella Fitzgerald. Another dancer came out, Isis, who freestyle danced to the piano players hot jazz in a tiny, fringed outfit and ended up with nothing but her g-string and the piano players hat to cover her modesty.

At one point, I spoke to a woman who does clowning. Not the horrid red nose and big shoes kind of clowns that freak me out but a small, very flexible, very expressive woman who was also an impressive dancer. She had a little tip to give me about street performance, but that one I'm keeping to myself.

In fact I met so many people I can't remember all their names which is annoying as they were all such fascinating people. Ultimately, I didn't end up getting home till 8:30am the next morning, with a few secrets, a few more gigs lined up and dreams of 1920s bright young things bopping around in my head.

Oh boy, but it was worth it.

Bella de Jac will be performing at the Ocean Rooms in Brighton on October 16th.

Michael "Atters" Attree: What performing for BABC means to me.

2009-10-06T05:59:00.000-07:00

Wall to wall totty!

Michael "Atters" Attree is Brighton's most famous cabaret host and 'Ealing Comedies-style villainous cad about town' and he will be the special guest host at the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer night at The Ocean Rooms in Brighton on October 16th. For more info, go to: www.thechap.net

Also in this picture are Therese La Tease, Stella Starr and Honour Mission, who will also be performing on the night.

Naomi Woddis: What performing for BABC means to me.

2009-10-06T05:14:00.000-07:00

Performing at the BABC is really important to me - as well as being an extremely fun and warm-hearted experience I am proud to be part of something that is raising awareness about a challenging and life threatening illness. It also gives me chance to write new work which is always pleasing. I never though I'd write a poem about my aging boobs but I did!

Naomi Woddis has featured at the O2 Wireless Festival, Theatre Royal Stratford East and the Queen Elizabeth Hall as part of the London Literature Festival. Her innovative collaboration online invention, Poerty Mosaic (www.poetrymosaic.wordpress.com) is gaining in international popularity. Her pamphlet "Life is Music" was published in 2007.

Therese La Tease: What performing for BABC means to me.

2009-10-06T04:54:00.000-07:00

I feel greatly honoured to be performing at this year's BABC and shall be dancing in memory of both my grandmothers who were touched by breast cancer.

Therese La Tease will be performing at the Ocean Rooms in Brighton for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer on October 16th. For more info, go to: www.myspace.com/tesofthedrtyvillas

Bea DeVile: What performing for BABC means to me.

2009-10-04T02:48:00.000-07:00

As I write this, I'm looking at a photo of my mum and her two sisters that I took at a family wedding earlier this year.

One of these women has had treatment for breast cancer, including a mastectomy. She has had a five year course of Tamoxifen, which is the maximum length of time it can be prescribed for, and since that ended she has found that the cancer has metastasised to the bones in both hips. The secondary bone cancer is treated by gruelling radiotherapy and then transfusions to strengthen the bone, but it doesn't reduce the pain.

Very few people even know that she has had treatment for breast cancer, and fewer still know how much pain she is now in most of the time.

A mother of four and a grandmother of five - she is the quietest, most unassuming, and bravest person I know.

Bea DeVile will be performing at Burlesque Against Breast Cancer at the Ocean Rooms in Brighton on October 16th. For more info, go to: www.myspace.com/bea_devile

A Little Midnight Magic Part One

2009-10-02T15:05:00.000-07:00

After Club Smooch, I was itching to get back on the stage. Particularly after seeing so many good friends. I told you Danny was there but did I mention Chrissie of Curve Couture was in the audience? She shot backstage to wish us all luck or break a leg and I'm amazed she managed it up the stairs in her gorgeously high red sparkly shoes! I'm always surprised by how many neck-breakingly steep stairs are in most backstage areas. I suppose it adds to the thrill! I was pleased that she got to see her Curve Couture masterpiece onstage.

So Thursday night, I was back in Hastings for Burlesk! Cabaret Carnivale. I had such a great time last time I was there I was so pleased to be back. Hastings is only just up the coast from Brighton and a very cruisy train journey had me there in no time. As I've perfected the art of 'On train make-up application' I only had my hair and a bit of glittering to do when I got there.

Ah yes, it's a glamorous life. I can even put on false eyelashes on the train. I'm not quite sure what my fellow train goers think of me, but I've long since stopped caring if it saves me a half hour at home!

Lady Severine who runs the night was the spectacular ring master for the night, resplendent in her top hat and hands down the best chest in burlesque. We actually had a bit of time for a chat over a glass of wine and the curling tongs which was nice for a change from frantic preparations. Most excitingly it looks like I'll be back for their Christmas show as well!

Miss Glory Pearl was on in the first half, which I was excited about as we really hadn't seen each other since the London Burlesque festival. She performed her Sally Poles routine which I managed to catch from the window in the dressing room while getting dressed. I was concerned that I was going to either burn my hair or knock over the spotlight which was set up in the window so I only caught a few pole tricks, but it was looking pretty good to me!

On in the second half was Honour Mission, another Brighton lass who also happened to be at the Club Smooch show with me the week before. She was on right before me doing her stompingly good 50 foot woman act, so I didn't see her act but I could hear it just fine. Those buildings don't stand a chance! Honour Mission, if you haven't had the pleasure of meeting her, is the very definition of an Amazon. Quite a woman.

After catching the end of Domino's act (fabulous as usual) and having a brief chat with the other performers we had to dash, but not before I had a chance to speak with Sinan Bozkurt. Sin has done most of the pictures from Burlesk! that I have on my website and excepting that he's also a very sweet man. I had just enough time to discuss a possible photo shoot and to take a few pictures after the show.

Gosh, how lucky was I to get a lift home with Honour! To be delivered to my door is a very rare luxury which I enjoyed immensely as we laughed all the way home, Honour, myself and her 'roadie' her very kind friend who was doing the driving. We spoke about Honour’s post here. I won't go into it now except to say that after sharing some stories with Honour I will be writing a special blog about my family's brush with Cancer. I believe Honour has bravely done so as well and after hearing her story in the car on the way home it made me think how many incredible stories must be out there.

Bella De Jac will be performing at the Ocean Rooms in Brighton for BABC on the 16th October. For more, go to: www.belladejac.com

The Further Burlesque Adventures of Miss Dolly Rose…

2009-10-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

Due to my current enforced living in the west country situation, and my reluctance to miss out on London burlesque based fun due to this, the last month or so has seen me on an awful lot of trains. On the plus side, I have made the discovery that the hot chocolate they sell on First Great Western Trains is actually quite nice?! The coffee not so much.

It has also seen me taking advantage of the loveliness of my friends floors/sofas/spare beds…special thankyou's must go to the lovely Duchess Divine for putting me up for three nights after I cleverly booked myself for four shows in the space of a weekend without thinking about the ‘I don’t actually live in London’ side of things. Whilst staying with Duchess, we were both booked to perform at her friend’s stag do on the Friday night. I wasn’t really sure what to expect having never performed at a stag do before and not really ever had any previous plans to end up doing so, but it was actually really fun and something I’d definitely do again if I knew the people involved, really nice atmosphere and we were well looked after!

Saturday saw us all venturing off to the wilds of Colliers Wood for the Dark Mills Festival, where Duchess had put together an excellent line-up of some of the loveliest ladies in burlesque, plus BABC’s very own Mark Farley reading erotic fiction from the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer book.

After a lovely time despite the delayed dressing room entry and my subsequent frantic attempts to get into my costume in 15 minutes (apologies to anyone I stressed at!), I was off to Shoreditch to perform at the gorgeous Emerald Fontaine’s night at The Fox, where lots of fun and some excellent cupcakes were had. The night was vintage English summer themed, and I was most impressed by the Astroturf croquet lawn in the smoking area!

And after such a busy weekend, it was off back to the West Country for what was intended to be a quiet night of sleep and rest, but somehow turned into me going out and drinking slightly too much cider (these things do happen in Somerset), before venturing back to London for Flay & Deville’s Circus of Marvels on the Monday, which was a really great night with wonderful performers, I highly recommend it!

Last Wednesday saw me up in London yet again for ‘Beyond the Cabaret’ at the Tiger’s Rear. One of my friends has just moved up to London from Bath, so I dragged him along (and may maybe possibly have specifically asked the night’s host Kiki Kaboom to pick on him…sorry Callum, but it was too tempting!). I did my West Country act which is always fun times, although I must apologise to all the other performers for the tendency my hay has to get absolutely everywhere.

I’m imagining a lot of people will be finding mystery hay lurking in their costumes over the next week or two! All of the performers at Beyond the Cabaret were absolutely brilliant, but special mention must go to Frisky and Mannish for covering Wuthering Heights in the style of Kate Nash, something I can’t say I ever thought I would see, but which I’m very glad I did!

This week, I’ve been having a nice quiet rest after all my London adventures, but I’m back up again this Thursday for the British Burlesque Invasion show, and the following Saturday for Duchess’s ‘1 in 4’ night which will be raising awareness of mental health in aid of the charity ‘Mind’, plus a few exciting shows down in Bath later in the month, so hopefully I’ll have a lot more to write about soon!

Miss Dolly Rose is a rising star in the UK burlesque scene. She has performed for BABC in the past and she can be found at www.myspace.com/missdollyrose

Guest Blogger: Beatrix Von Bourbon

2009-09-29T05:50:00.000-07:00

I had an absolute blast performing at Ritual fetish club in Rome on Friday. The event was really busy and had a great party energy. I’d certainly recommend the club to anyone travelling to Rome.

Qube is a divine venue with 4 giant disco balls outside and copious amounts of gold glitter inside. Plus, the DJ booth’s surrounded by a small water pool! It was quite amazing!

I managed to snap a quick photo of the stage on my phone before the doors opened, but I’m sure many photos will be added to the Ritual Facebook Group in due course…

As the more observant of you may have gathered from my acts list, I will be debuting 2 new acts when I return to Stuttgart for 3.5 months at the end of this year.

For the past 9 months I’ve been slowly researching, creating, costume-making, out-sourcing and choreographing two new acts: Cinderella and Milkshake. But I must admit… Perhaps the *most* exciting bit for me is watching the prop for my milkshake act come together. My 6 foot tall milkshake glass is being custom-made by the team at Spur Creative in East Sussex.

And before you think about it, no, I won’t be bathing in chocolate milk! The exact content of the act will be revealed in due course…

Beatrix Von Bourbon is a top international model and performer and will be headlining for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer at Dirty Dicks in London on October 21st. For more Beatrix, visit www.vonbourbon.com

September Burlesque Diaries

2009-09-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

September has been a busy month for the Swoons and the Swoon bus.

Poor old Swoon bus, we had to fork out seven hundred quid on it last month at the MOT but it’s holding up well. When it’s not ploughing into ‘fields of barley’ or running over badgers, the Swoon bus enjoys travelling hundreds of miles taking me to various wonderful burlesque gigs across the country. First stop this month was Darkteaser’s Dark Side at The Victoria Biker’s Pub Coalville Leicestershire.

This was a challenging gig for me. I haven’t performed for six weeks which is the longest break I’ve had since starting burlesque nearly a year and a half ago. August was a quiet month and I was away on holiday, but I was also battling with a massive bout of depression and most of August is a complete blur. By September, I was ready and excited to leap back into back the saddle and looking forward to this show. It was also especially exciting because we didn’t know exactly who was going to be performing until we all turned up at the venue!

As soon as I got out of the car at the pub, I spotted the lovely Nicole A Lure, burlesque performer and Hourglass photographer. Absolutely lovely to see her again. We’d performed together at The Slippery Belle Leeds a couple of months before but we hoped this time we might catch each others acts! Also performing were comedian Al Grant from Derby, Angel LaVey who I hadn’t yet had the chance to see perform and Darkteaser herself. The compere for the evening was the fantastic Tobi James.

I had a lovely time performing, the crowd were loud (always good) and friendly. I scraped up my knees beautifully crawling across the stage with my rubber chicken planted firmly between my teeth during ‘Valhalla’ and my legs still held up for the high kicks during ‘Trumpet Player’. It was great to catch some of the performances. Al was delightfully crude, Nicole’s singing was amazing as always and I loved Darkteasers ‘I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts’ fan dance! Robin Lowe and James Thorpe took some amazing photos of the evening and Tobi held the whole show together beautifully.

Two days later, it was time to embark on our journey to The Glitter Room at The Black Sheep Bar Croydon. Mr Swoon installed the new Sat Nav; Croydon’s one way system was not going to beat us. If we can navigate Soho we can navigate Croydon. Nuvi (you’ve got to give your Sat Nav a name) was true to her word and we arrived after about 4hrs and parked easily in a side street around the corner from the venue for two quid – excellent.
It was a pleasure to perform at The Glitter Room. DJ Suave runs a tight ship and there was a great atmosphere backstage. Miss Doxy Moron did a great job taking care of all the performers and there was even a buffet provided too! I managed to catch quite a few performances and they were all fantastic. Compere Tempest Rose had me in stitches with her Camden Council routine and I also loved Daisy and Doris’s Cary Grant act which was hilarious.

Backstage, I caught up with Audacity Chutzpah and Lolo Love who I’d last met at the Valentine’s Varie Tease back in February, Ruby Fortune who I’d had the pleasure of performing with at BABC at The Book Club Boutique in July and Bea DeVile who I saw last when we were both shivering with fear waiting to perform at the LBF back in April.
After the show it was back to the trusty Swoon bus for the long haul back to Leeds. Nuvi who had been so reliable on the outward journey this time decided to take us on a magical mystery tour on the way home. I don’t know a great deal about ‘driving’, although you’ll be pleased to hear I do hold a valid driver’s licence (Fact, fans!) but Mr. Swoon explained something about one way systems and had faith as we drove around and around London village.

‘RECALCULATING’

Eventually she directed us back to the trusty A1 and we even managed to find a twenty four hour service station open on a Sunday night. I do love a brightly lit service station after midnight. We rolled in back home at around 3.30am, our mood rather dampened after running over a badger that had darted out at us on a country lane – horrible. We were up bright and early at 8am for the kids first day back at school and my youngest Alex’s first ever school day. He looked very smart and very little in his school trousers that kept falling down. He settled in great and at 9.05am, I settled in great back under my duvet with no problem at all.

The following Saturday, we were off to The Candy Shack Burlesque at Oliver’s Bar Aston under Lyne. I first performed at Candy Shack in July of last year at their first ever burlesque night so it was great to go back and see everyone again. Joan and Jas are passionate about their night and even provided the performers with a V.I.P area to watch the show. Resident performers, Suzie Sequin and Dani California were fabulous as ever, I got to meet Lucy Lippstikk who I’ve not seen perform before and had the pleasure of driving home fellow Leeds burlesquer Nelly Plum home. She brought chocolate éclairs for the journey and we ate them.

All in all a busy September so far. Back in October with another round up.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang xxx

Jubilee Swoon is a resident of West Yorkshire and has been performing burlesque for over a year at events all over the U.K including The Slippery Belle, The Wet Spot and The London Burlesque Festival where she won the Best U.K Solo Newcomer category at the Battle Royale. Not to mention for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer in London.

Smoochie, Smoochie

2009-09-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

I love travelling for my work. Getting to meet new people, other performers, is very exciting and a lot of fun.

But there is something very special about performing in my very own stomping ground of Brighton. Not only does it mean there's no late night train to catch, but I usually know everyone back stage and quite a few out in the audience!

Club Smooch is a Brighton institute as far as Burlesque entertainment goes. I have modelled for Curve Couture at a Club Smooch night but this was my first time performing at this night.

The atmosphere backstage was wonderfully exciting and friendly, much like when I was in high school and all the girls would congregate at one house to get ready for Friday night's party. There were girls and guys (don't forget the Dream Bears!) chatting and laughing, last minute snacking, dressing, glittering and hair spraying all over the shop.

I was debuting my new box (all puns aside please!) for my Living Doll act and it performed beautifully. Most importantly, it collapsed down at the end of the night so I could fold it into a bag, sling it over my shoulder and carry it off at the end of the night. An absolute dream compared to the cumbersome old prop I had before.

The whole night really felt like one big party really, and the best part of all was that BW came along for his first ever show! I'm pleased to report that he had a great time and brought another friend along who was also a burlesque virgin so to speak (BW has seen me rehearse so often he can sing every word of the songs).

They sat happily up the back with a colleague of mine from Pulp Press, Danny Hogan the talented writer of Killer Tease. By the end they were all looking very comfortable, whooping and clapping and BW has promised to come to the next one!

We all had ambitious intentions of heading downstairs for Born Bad, but with my plethora of props I decided I needed a cab and my bed for some well deserved beauty sleep.

www.belladejac.com

Introverts and Extraverts

2009-09-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

Renowned psychologist Dorothy Rowe divides the human population in to two categories; introverts and extraverts. What defines these two categories is our response to stress and how we recharge our batteries. Extraverts look outwards. They need to be around others to re-energise and in a stressful situation they will chat, giggle and need to express their nerves vocally and volubly. Introverts, on the other hand, look inwards. To restore their balance they need to be alone and when under pressure they become quiet, often sitting apart in a corner where they pray they will not be disturbed. Nowhere are these archetypes more visible than in the dressing room of a burlesque show.

As you might imagine, such places are often small, cramped and full of semi-naked women, stockings and glitter. The extraverts chatter away, the odd shriek piercing the tension, while the introverts skulk in front of mirrors and in corners trying to shut out the bustle and the noise. You might have guessed from this description that I am an introvert. When I arrive at a gig, the first thing I want to do is get all my technical checks done, hand over my music, and discuss my cue, set-up and pick-up. Then I want to find a corner of the dressing room, or a patch of mirror space and begin the ritual of putting on my make-up. I will listen to my music on my ipod, running through my act in my head and telling myself that all will be well and that I can do this. As my time on stage approaches, I get quieter, less communicative, more focussed on the task in hand.

But I worry.

I worry that everyone around me thinks I’m stuck-up, or unfriendly. I worry that the extraverts, who are all happily chattering away and making friends, think ill of me. I worry that I’m missing the opportunity to get to know people better. And I worry that I inadvertently snap or appear sullen when an oblivious extravert interrupts my solitude with their innocent high spirits.

That’s a lot of things to worry about when you’ve got a job to do. But I know that if I didn’t focus inwards, I’d fall apart.

So I began to look around me and I started noticing I wasn’t the only one hiding in toilets and corners. Then I mentioned it at a couple of shows and found colleagues who are also introverts, and who prefer to quietly prepare for their time onstage and not participate in the high-spirited buzz around them. And finally, I expressed the fear that I came across as moody and unfriendly, and was told that the opposite was true; warm, friendly and professional were the words used, which pleased me enormously, and set my mind at rest.

They say you will find all sorts of women in the dressing room of a burlesque show; the tall, the petite, the slender, the curvy, the blondes, brunettes and redheads. They all take their clothes off and bring a little magic to the stage but the rituals that get them there usually fall into two categories. Next time you watch a show, perhaps you will wonder who sat drinking white wine and laughing, and who hid in the toilet with an ipod and their make-up case.

http://www.missglorypearl.co.uk/

Welcoming a New Sponsor

2009-09-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

We're very pleased to announce that a new sponsor has come on board the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer team.

Photos by Camille will give a percentage from her future work and sales to BABC and we hope to see her at some of our events in the future shooting all the action, plus all of the gorgeous performers.

Please have a look at her website.

Guest Blogger: Honour Mission

2009-08-30T04:26:00.000-07:00

My Mum, Honor Mary, died of Oesophageal Cancer on Febuary 23rd 2008. My Dad took care of her up until that day. The Macmillan nurse, who would visit once a week, was quite often, the only other company my Mum and Dad had, apart from each other. My Sister and I would try and visit as often as we could but they lived so far away...

My Mum was so weak, she would sleep most of the time. She couldn't eat so we watched her starve, which broke our hearts.

There wasn’t really a lot the nurse could do with this sort of cancer but she tried to make Mum as comfortable as possible and she was always only a phone call away to reassure and advise my Dad.

Mum had always been the kindest, most glamorous and mischievous lady you ever could meet! Everybody loved her. Including all the medical staff.

At the same time my Mum was terminally ill, My older Sister 'Jacks' discovered that she had breast cancer. I recently sent Jacks a few question's concerning this traumatic time and the reply was a very positive one.....

Honour: So 'big sis', tell me about your 'bout' with breast cancer. I know Mum insisted on calling you and having a good talk about it. What were some of the words of wisdom that she passed on to you? Because it suddenly gave you an incredible strength.

Jaqueline: Even when she was suffering massive pain with her own cancer, she found the strength to call me and was always telling me to stay strong, not to crumble, be brave and keep going. I have reccurring dreams of when Mum taught me to swim at Woodall Spa, I was about 3 years old, she was at the far end of the swimming pool, calling me and telling me not to be afraid to swim and to keep going. So that’s what I am still doing………!

Honour: You were in hospital for the mastectomy op within days, how did you feel to have two boobs one week and one boob the next?

Jaqueline: After the op I felt like Cyclops, but a good bra fitter at Debenhams sorted me out with my first mastectomy bra and I didn’t look too different in my usual clothes. My breast care nurse gave me a ‘softie’ for my bra after the op and I brought my breast prosthesis from Amoena and later a swimming suit and swimming prosthesis from Nicola Jane. No one can tell the difference.

Honour: Then came the dreaded chemo... You tried the ice cap but unfortunately it didn't work and your gorgeous thick wavy hair (which has come back since even more lustrous) all fell out. I remember our phone conversations and you would sound very poorly sometimes. Although, when I came to visit, you looked a picture of health with a full head of hair!!! How the hell did you manage that?!

Jaqueline: I took my wonderful hairdresser with me to choose a wig at the hospital. I was determined not to have the NHS ‘shiny bob’ sort and so she chose a really funky choppy mid length wig, in a colour called Cappuccino, in fact it was better than my own hair and so easy to manage. SHAKE AND GO. In May, my hair finally grew back and it was too hot to wear my wig, (thicker and more curly than before), so people who didn’t know I’d had cancer thought I’d gone a bit bonkers and had a boyish haircut!

Like Mum, I always try and put a brave face on even when I am feeling low and, because I was in the beauty business, I always put my make up on regardless of how ill I’m feeling. I hope to write a 'Look Good Feel Better' beauty handy hints (for breast cancer patients) book with lots of tips and tricks I’ve learnt that I want to share with other cancer patients.

Honour: Now a year later, you have had your first reconstruction operation. Tell me about your 'stack' as you like to call it. I must say, the shape of your boobs make you look even younger Jacks!

Jaqueline: When I saw my surgeon and we discussed breast reconstruction, I said I wanted to go as large as possible and that I would be holding on to this dream through my dark days of Chemo. When I saw him again I said, I’ve had my Chemo and I’ve come for me bosoms – only the very largest will do please! Here’s what my surgeon did.

Op 1. my flat right boob (mastectomy) was given an inflatable implant that was injected weekly (8 weeks) until maximum size. Two months later, Op 2. my left bosom was given a ‘nip and tuck’ and raised slightly with a small implant. Op3. my right boob (full mastectomy) was given the largest implant he could use. Next stage – nipple reconstruction or tattoo? I can’t decide on what tattoo to have – Geryln Lucas (Author of 'Why I Wore Red Lipstick to my Mastectomy') had angel wings and a heart, but I think I might go with the nipple tattoo….. I’ll keep you posted.

Honour: I understand it's not over yet. You recently had an allergic reaction to Tamoxifen...

Jaqueline: After my ops in June, I had to restart taking Tamoxifen, and unfortunately had a major allergic reaction, in the form of urticaria (red skin hives), followed by massive anaphylactic shock. I was rushed to A&E twice over two days. The NHS staff were fantastic at looking after me. At 5.30am, I had to wait for the drunks and druggies to leave before I could get a bed and I was feeling sorry for myself in the heat covered head to toe with an itchy rash, swollen face, hands and unable to breath. Mum used to say whatever your troubles there is always someone worse off than you, and in the A&E ward was a woman my age who had been brought into A&E by the police, she had been found wandering the town in the nude apart from her high heels. She was an alcoholic had cirrhosis of the liver. I kept thinking of something Bette Midler once said “Please God, don’t let me be found wondering the streets with a fried egg on my head” Somehow I felt better.

I am now taking Arimidex – I am hoping to stay well on this. Although I only took Tamoxifen for one year it has given me Osteopina (Osteoporosis), Arimidex also has the same side effect.

So there you have it folk's. Up until two year's ago, cancer was always something that happened to someone else, now I realise just how common it is and how ongoing support is needed....It really does make the world of difference to peoples lives. Including me.

Honour Mission is a Brighton based burlesque performer and will be performing for BABC at The Ocean Rooms in Brighton on October 16th. Honour lives at: http://www.myspace.com/honourmission

Isle of Style

2009-08-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

I remember as a child being told that when you get older time starts to race. Of course at the time I thought it was the usual rubbish thing that grown ups would say to placate you when you're bored. If only I had realised how true it was!

It's been a couple of weeks since my last bit of backstage chatter and life gets infinitely more frenetic with every passing week.

The performance crowd are a superstitious lot by history. All that 'break a leg' sort of stuff. Some performers find that certain things happen at the same nights over and over again. For example they may always have trouble with one of their acts at a certain night or their music never works properly at another, and so on.

I may very well be doomed to leave something behind every time I work one of DJ Suave's nights! The first time when it was Annie's Bar Burlesque it was my CD wallet with all my precious music, this time it was at The Glitter Room two weeks ago.

Not only did I leave my CD wallet but half my costume! I was in such a rush to make my train home I didn't even realise till Honey Wilde called me.

Honey, 'Hon, are you missing something?'

Me, 'Oh S***, my music!'.

Honey, '...and your bra, and your dress!'

Honestly, leaving things behind can be an expensive mistake to make. Thankfully the lovely Honey posted them back to me first class in time for my next gig!

Last weekend, I had all the luck to be performing at the Isle of Wight's 'The Cream Tease'. Oh how I love a big beautiful stage! The very cute Lady Catalina and Stuart run this very professional night. If you are bound for the Isle of Style or are lucky enough to live there I would urge you to make a point of searching it out. Top class performers in a fabulous venue make for a very, very good show.

I met the Darlings Divine: Miss Cherry Pop and Miss Fan-Teasy, saw Banbury Cross again (we performed the week earlier at The Glitter Room) and The Divine Miss Em who I met back when Glitter Room was Annie's Bar Burlesque!

We all sweltered away in the dressing room as we primped and preened, discussed Colleen in the latest goss mag and the merits of latex clothing, and avoided costuming up until the last minute to avoid decidedly unglamorous sweatiness and bra marks.

I had such a fabulous time. I have my fingers crossed to perform there again soon, although next time I intend on staying the night in one of the sweet B&Bs nearby and really enjoying the Isle. The shame of travelling for work is that I don't often get to see much of the surroundings! If you have any suggestions of what to see when I'm there next then by all means drop me a message.

It was the virgin flight of my revamped costume for 'Na Touche Pas' and from the audience's response I can only imagine it was a great success.

Speaking of costumes, you might have noticed recently that there has been a little change to my website. There is an exciting new tab at the bottom of the menu.

'Whatever is this tab for?' I hear you ask.

Well, over the next few months you will begin to see newer and more fabulous costumes than you've seen from me before, and you know I already love a little Razzle Dazzle. It's all due to my collaboration with the Curve Couture label. Chrissie Nicholson-Wilde is the talented designer behind the label and her skill as a costumier has me very excited!

Ladies...she has a talent for making THE most flattering shapes to grace a woman's curves and makes exceptional occasion wear, wedding gowns and corsets so make sure to click on the Curve Couture tab and see what it's all about. Naturally, I will have pictures of my new costumes up as soon as humanly possible!

I have to say I'm having great fun revisiting my collection of old musicals, vintage couture books and researching hairpieces from the various eras. I've also been converted to the dark side that is genuine Swarovski crystals. I've finally had to admit to myself that nothing really compares to their sparkle and despite the cost I am drooling over the colour chart as we speak.]

Bella de Jac has performed for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer and will do again at The Ocean Rooms in Brighton, on October 16th. You can see more of her at http://www.belladejac.com/

You spin me right round baby, right round...

2009-08-15T03:15:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been feeling a bout of serious 80's inspiration. Watching Ghostbusters last night was the catalyst. But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's start at the beginning.

I have been rather quiet on the blog front for a few weeks as I've been enjoying some down time. Fitting in so much can be very exhausting and it's great to have a rest.

Even so, there's much more to burlesque than gigging. I've had a choice opportunity to re-evaluate a few of my routines, consider a few very exciting new possibilities, rehearse, perfect, meet with the dress maker, contact the prop makers and generally plot and plan like an evil nemesis out of a Bond film.

For the next month and a half my red angel routine is temporarily out of commission while it is revamped. Fear not, with it's sparkly relaunch it will be a knock-out headliner.

Additionally Living Doll and Na Touche Pas! are experiencing a fixer-upper however will still be available for bookings while work is being done.

I've also had time to sketch out some potential new costume designs. As is the case with many performers I have pages and pages of ideas for acts and shows. However I subscribe to the school of thought (and this is a personal preference, not a dig at anyone else) that it's better to invest in props, costumes and time for rehearsals for a few great acts, than to have lists of acts that are thrown together in a minute.

For my own comfort I feel better onstage knowing I've put everything I possibly could into making this one act as great as it could possibly be. Unfortunately this does mean that I end up with many potentially fabulous acts locked away in my head clambering for attention and I wish I could realise them all. So it's very exciting when I'm finally in a position to start looking at plucking one of the wriggly little ideas out of my head and fleshing out the fantasy!

Unfortunately as my circus skills are still limited my fabulous trapeze ideas will have to wait, but I am looking at three different idea from very different era's. I'll keep you posted.

So this weekend....

Yesterday morning I went on a photo shoot at two contrasting locations and was very lucky to encounter a genuine 1930's motorcycle called a Red Indian.

I got back home in time for a quick rehearsal of a Boston version of my Psycho GoGo Wipeout act, and a bit of last minute tassel stitching. A Boston or Sunday School version is a toned down version of an act to make it appropriate for a more 'family' audience or back in the day was what the girls did when they knew the police were in the house.

I was rehearsing my Boston version for a private gig at a partnership wedding that night and simply involved not taking my bra off. However in such a fast paced act a fair bit of extra choreography was required to fill the time, hence the rehearsal.

Ultimately I like this version so much that I'm going to extend Psycho GoGo Wipeout to fit the new choreography in. More bang for your buck!

The wedding gig went brilliantly, the guests were lovely and the grooms looked absolutely radiant with happiness. Anyone who opposes gay marriage must have flies in their brain. Something that can create so much joy should be celebrated, and celebrate they did!

My taxi arrived as I heard the first bars of 'I heard it through the grapevine' and with my pay in my purse I was itching to hit the town. I did, of course, resist. My night's earnings are my deposit for the dressmaker. Besides which, it was unlikely I would find a club playing the kind of music I wanted to hear. If anyone knows of regular club nights in Brighton playing 60's music please tell me! Born Bad and Da Doo Ron Ron are only once a month.

Well that's my weekend. I arrived home to watch Ghostbusters where I triggered on some fabulous 80's inspiration and went to bed far too late after sketching away at some costume designs. The lack of sleep caught up with me this morning when I woke up (with difficulty) at midday. Hmm, half the day gone, but then what are Sundays for if not recovery.

Till next time, keep it glamorous. I for one am going to get out of my dressing gown and into my warm-up gear, work on some choreography then bake a chocolate and beetroot cake. I'll let you know how it turns out!

www.belladejac.com

Ivy Paige and The Chaps

2009-07-31T12:47:00.000-07:00

Just a quick little update for you on a very wonderful weekend.

Friday night was the first time I ever went to see Ivy Paige's Scandalous. I tell you that girl is inspirational. It was the first time I'd seen the show advertised down in Brighton so I jumped at the chance to get in an infamous show without the trek up to London. It certainly didn't disappoint.

In fact at one point I think I may have picked my jaw off the floor and was so astonished by the sheer talent and spectacle that I forgot to keep taking pictures (I was trying to get a couple of good pics for the promoter).

I shared my table with Therese la Tease, Baby Bones (when she wasn't busy organising as the promoter of the night), and Emma of Peep Toe Magazine, along with a few lovely ladies I was introduced to that night. However as they don't have performance names and I'm not sure if they'd want their names in my blog I'm sure you understand I can't share them. We were even lucky enough to chat with Ivy after the show when she could impart a little performer wisdom.

Ultimately, as I have already come to understand, it comes down to plain, damn hard work and a whole lot of creativity.

Moving swiftly on, my plans to finish making my polka dot dress were foiled as it was already very late by the time I got home and I had a very big day ahead. The Chap Olympics!

I met Infinity Favour on the train up to London on Saturday with one of the lovely ladies who I met at Ivy Paige. Let's call her Princess Shoes for now...she'll know what I mean!

We must have looked a very interesting sight indeed. Three ladies who looked like something out of a period 1940's film complete with picnic basket. I managed to finish my hair on the train, rather impressive considering the lack of mirrors. Although I must say, a train window in a tunnel does make a pretty good substitute.

It was a great trip up as we debated the merits of bullet bras and non stretch versus stretch fully fashioned stockings. Lipstick on, hair done, gloves in place and skirts tugged and smoothed we arrived like a whirlwind into London Bridge station and began the underground battle to the gardens. After going the wrong way for a turn and discovering a 'voluptuous underground station' we made it!

What a day! It was the most fun I've had in such a long time. We laughed at the Bounders event where the gentlemen had to approach ladies on the track and say something so caddish as to receive a slap, stuffed ourselves with cupcakes and cherries, promenaded to check out the talent in the tweed jackets and bowler hats, and danced in the rain with cups of tea until it was dark. As far as 'the scene' goes, the Chap Olympics is really one of the events of the year and you can see why.

When we finally left in search of a pub before the journey home, walking out onto Tottenham Court Rd was like walking through a portal into another world. I love the city as much as the next girl but after a day of gentle manners and tea and cake in the gardens it felt overwhelming, loud and garish. The old-fashioned pub with it's stained glass windows and beautiful vintage looking bottles of tonic water was a blessed relief.

Alas, but all good things must come to an end. After such a busy weekend it was nice to spend Sunday drinking milo and planning out the rest of my year and looking over my acts to make improvements while BW worked on his scripts.

In addition to all of this I have come to understand that I don't seem physically capable of writing a little update. Isn't it wonderful to learn new things about oneself?

Finally, I have a few more bookings to update shortly for August and October so keep your eyes on the events page if you want to make any of the great new shows coming up.

Have a lovely week you lovely people.

The Knickerbocker Glories Show

2009-07-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

A great little montage of the wonderful Knickerbocker Glories, who performed at our spring fling in Notting Hill. It features the wonderful Rocky routine that they performed for us. I saw it performed at the LBF's Battle Royale and I contacted them to insist that they HAD to perform. Of course, they said yes. x

Beatrix Von Bourbon

2009-07-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

Beatrix did the most amazing geisha fan dance for our Burlesque Against Breast Cancer show at the London Festish Fair last October. Here's a recent TV appearance. we LOVE it...

Guest Blogger: Capella Silverangel

2009-07-25T13:58:00.000-07:00

Boobylicious

My boobylicious boobs
Are a source of inspiration to blokes
I’ve heard their silly jokes
And puns
About my soft round buns
Cherry nippled on top
Just missing the icing
But you’d never guess
From the size of the areoles
Which mimic warm melted chocolate sauce.
Ouch don’t bite that hurts you horse!!!

Some guys just stand and stare
As I walk by them down the street
One guy once pursued me through
Istegade – (prostitution avenue in Copenhagen)
Wanting me to do what exactly?
I don’t know
But I dodged him and ran into 7’11
Heaven!!
I roll my eyes aghast
And exhale with exasperated breath
Oh breasts,
Do you need to cause so much
Attention???

It’s cold
You’ve guest,
The cherry topped bits
Stick further out of my chest!!

Some guys get kind of rude
And ask
“You don’t have a boyfriend
With those boobs
How is that possible???”

Others describe and define me by them
Capella…. they say
In that man gossipy way
“The one with the great smile,”
“Funny, boisterous,”
“The one with the big tits?”

Yes, that’s me.
With my curves
And bumps and mountaintops
That always make car drivers stop
And turn and look and beep.
Ahhh, when I left heaven
I knew I should have picked that
Cane (stick thing) for the sheep
And been a Bo Peep
Instead of asking for boobs
That can’t fit in a boob tube
Boobs
That make a man lewd

But I love them (now)
My boobylicious boobs.

Double D (Part I)

Men have been programmed
These days before birth
Faintly hearing from a midwife or nurse
Through the wall of the womb
Breast is best
Breast is best
Breast is best
Which like Chinese whispers turns into
Double D chest
Double D chest
Katie Price, Jordan
Double D breast

Capella Silverangel is a singer/songwriter, artist and poet. You can find her at: www.myspace.com/capellasilverangel

Guest Blogger: Justine Hardy

2009-07-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

Survival

This is the story of dancing with the body, but there needs to be a bit of an introduction.

One of the strange phenomenon of surviving cancer is that a lot of those who live on long after the cancer has been defeated do so, not by going to war with the disease, but by adopting the survival mechanism of kindness.

Let me explain. Say a woman goes in for a check-up because she has found a small lump, tiny, almost indiscernible to anyone except her, but she is just playing it safe. Her view of the world is fairly balanced as she walks down the street towards the doctor’s clinic. She got up as usual, and she has gone through her day as usual up to this point. She goes into the clinic with a sense of herself, and where she is in her life.

She emerges a while later with an appointment for a biopsy.

Her world has changed, utterly and entirely, as though one minute she was looking down onto a familiar garden, and now she finds herself looking out onto a harsh desert where nothing is recognisable. When she next looks at herself in her bathroom mirror she does not see herself as she really is, but as someone with breast cancer, someone whose body has let her down.

It is at this point that a woman just diagnosed with breast cancer, or indeed anyone diagnosed with cancer, makes a choice. They either reject their body, seeing it now as their enemy, the thing that has turned against them, or they embrace the human machine as their greatest ally and friend in the healing process.

The shock of the diagnosis itself can further compromise an immune system that is already weakened as it tries to deal with the invasion of cancer cells. To decide, at this vital point, that the body has let you down is to betray the greatest ally we have, and to let go of the most powerful tool of recovery.
Where the mind leads, the body will follow. This is just the way that it is. If we mentally turn against our body the relationship between mind and body breaks down, the sympathetic dialogue ends and the body begins to fail, literally. In a sense it gives up. But if the mind encourages the body, constantly reassuring it, the body responds. In simple terms the mind is shoring the body up to do what it does best —to heal itself.

I have been based in India for a long time now, and in several different part of this kaleidoscope mass of peoples and cultures. I spent part of one winter in a village up in Ladakh in the very north, high up in the Himalayas, living with a farming family. I did not speak Ladakhi, and the main reason that I was with the family was that I was supposed to be teaching two of the sons of the family English. The Dorjay’s was a traditional Lakakhi farmhouse, the yaks below, the people on top, the loo a hole in the floor out the back so that everything tumbled straight down into a pig sty.

As the snows fell it became almost impossible to get out of the house.

Increasingly we were reliant on the supplies of dried food that had been stocked up through the summer: strips of meat, apples and vegetables that had been dried on the flat roof through the long dry-skied summer, all moisture wicked away by the altitude and the intensity of the sun. As the weeks passed the family settled back into their winter routine, bundled in thick layers, and taking up very sedentary residence in their particular corner of the main room of the house. It was where everything happened, cooking, eating, sleeping, arguing, chatting, and sometimes periods of silence as the family sat in winter somnolence, peering out occasionally onto the high white world beyond.

The surviving grandmother of the house became my most constant companion as we shared the job of rehydrating vegetables, and churning salty Ladakhi butter tea in a long wooden churn. This woman was only 57 but she had lived a hard life. The altitude and harshness of the region made her look about twenty years older than she was. Her flat Ladakhi face was a map of recent history and geography, deep lines drawing her story across her forehead. She had also been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer a few months earlier, a common cancer in the area because everyone inhales so much smoke from open fires throughout the winter months. Yet in spite of the diagnosis she did not seem to be deteriorating, even though had been told she had a matter of months to live.

Often I would see her stroking her chest, her arms and her legs, talking to herself as she did. As I got to know her better, and once I had mastered the art of butter tea-making to a level that allowed her to regard me as worthy of her attention, I finally asked her what she was doing when she was stroking herself and chatting away at the same time.

‘I am thanking my body for doing its job so well.’ She began to stroke her chest again. ‘See, I am telling my lungs how proud I am that they are giving such a good fight. I am dancing with my body, see.’

And she stroked and jiggled, laughing so hard that her eyes disappeared into the merry folds of her face.

She lived on for several years beyond her diagnosis. She chose not to take any of the prescribed conventional treatments or medication. Instead she ate large quantities of a local berry, possibly what we now see all over the place being sold as the superfood, goji berries. She outlived one of her sons, and certainly for a large multiple of the time predicted when she had first been diagnosed.

Thinlas Dorjay of Stok village was quite a teacher of kindness to the body in which we live, love, heal and die. She was a woman who did indeed dance with her body.

Justine Hardy is a former frontline correspondant and author of fiction and travel writing. Her latest book is called "In the Valley of the Mist", a story of a family in Kashmir. You can find out more at: www.justinehardy.com

Tasseltastic!

2009-07-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

Burlesk was absolutely wonderful! I've only been to Hastings once before and this time I saw a very different side of it. Venue is tucked down the sweetest little lane of cute stores and relaxed drinking spots.

I arrived after making a mental note to take the train for a day trip along the coast one weekend. I didn't realise how easy it was to travel from Brighton to Hastings and beyond. It was my blessed luck to be doing a prop free act and one without a corset to boot, as it was ticking on past 7pm and the sweltering heat hadn't abated.

Domino and Severine run a burlesque taster class for beginners before the night begins so I tried to find the dressing room inconspicuously but it wasn't to be as a gent out the front had directed me to the first door on the left which led to the tiniest dressing room I've seen. Realising there was no way they could squeeze 10 girls in there I gave Honey Wilde a call. She laughed and explained they were up the back above the bar and gave me a little wave from the window.

This was more like it! Dumping my bag down on one of the chairs I proceeded to pull my costume out and make some last minute alterations of an extra clasp as it had been popping open during rehearsals.

While I stitched Honey and Khandie Kisses were getting made up as they were in the first act and before too long the two of them had me in stitches. Discussing false eyelashes, Khandie mentioned that she had so many in her bathroom cabinet she thought they might turn into one big eyelash and crawl around her apartment. Which wouldn't half make a bad short film!

Before we knew it the girls for the first act were hurried off to the backstage area and as the show rolled on I managed a peek at the acts while I attached pasties, covered myself in body shimmer, backcombed my hair and untangled my tassels (the ones on the dress not on my chest!).

Piratica did a brilliant debut performance to Diamonds Are a Girls Best Friend from Moulin Rouge and I'd seen Honey's 'How to Burlesque the British Way' at LBF and it was as hilarious as I remembered. I hadn't seen Khandie's Blitz Belle act, man that girl has energy! I loved the fact that she got down into the audience and all the more incredible considering she wasn't feeling very well. The sign of a true showgirl.

Unfortunately I missed Domino's first act as I was hurrying to do my final touches before interval.

The girls of the second act were warned by the girls of the first act that it was VERY hot backstage, which wasn't what I wanted to hear but at least we were warned.

Waiting backstage I couldn't help but feel a dose of nerves. I had created the Psycho GoGo act for a pulp press launch and we didn't end up using it, going with Na Touche Pas instead. So this was actually to be the first real performance of this act and I felt like a new performer all over again. It's been a very long time since I debuted an act.

I needn't have worried, it all went brilliantly. One of the girls said afterwards that she wished it had gone on longer which is nice!

Throwing on my new 60s shift that I bought last week in London I dashed out to catch Domino's act which was just fantastic, and Sev's inspiring finale on the Burlesque ban in Camden. I'd love to see a licensing officer go a few rounds with her, she'd have them under the point of her stiletto before you can say Burlesk!

After the show I popped upstairs to sort my things out. Due to the heat no-one had opened any of the wine so I uncorked a red and poured myself and one of the girls who'd been helping out (and a budding burlesque contortionist!!) a glass and went down for a mingle and a nose through the Equilibrium stall onstage.

I contemplating spending my earnings from the night on a pair of sailor shorts and then thought better of it but did have a lovely chat with the owner who's other half was an absolute gentleman and helped me down the stairs with my bag and put me in a cab to the station.

I settled in for an uneventful journey back to Brighton but it wasn't to be as three lads jumped on the train about halfway along. You can always tell if people are safe or not and they were harmless enough, although one was exceedingly drunk and very amusing. In any case, listening to his drunken tangents passed the time until I arrived in Brighton and jumped in the first cab home. There is something to be said for performing mid week and that is that no-one is lining up for the taxi's at the station.

Oh the bliss of flopping into bed, exhausted after a long day! Now who says I'm not rock'n'roll...

Bella de Jac is a performer for BABC

Guest Blogger: Rosemary Furber

2009-07-17T06:40:00.000-07:00

My mother was in hospital in Belfast having her lungs drained on the day I gave birth for the first time in London in 1984. We didn’t know as we cried down the phone to each other that she’d have nearly three months to live and would hold her grandchild only once.

I was 17 when she was finally diagnosed with breast cancer, after two winters of excruciating back pain. That’s the first thing I see that has changed where breast cancer is concerned: medics know what they’re doing much faster now. I’ll never forget answering the phone after school one day to find my best friend’s father, who’d just been the anaesthetist at my mother’s mastectomy, telling me that not just the lump but the whole breast had had to go. It was a dizzying moment that still haunts me, but surgery and follow-up are more subtle now. There’s less to fear.

My mother went from the north coast of Northern Ireland where we lived to stay with her sister in Belfast while she had radiotherapy and chemo, and she’d come home to us at weekends. The 60 mile journey nearly killed her: she’d become a frail little old lady in her mid-40s. The chemo removed her hair, as it still does, and as people still do, she toughed it out with scarves and laughter. The radiotherapy also left burns on her chest for months.

Two years later, a secondary lump appeared and I want to emphasise this to all you breast-lovers: the secondary grew from beneath her scar. That’s why I, 32B, would never have implants. Every time somebody mentions them, I remember sitting beside my mother while she was in the bath (one of her favourite places for us to chat), watching her soap that double, purple scar over where she’d once held us and fed us as babies.

One thing has changed enormously over the years and another thing has stayed the same. What’s changed is this: battling breast cancer is always a brutal business but nowadays I see more and more people survive it. People don’t just ‘survive’ as my mother did, with ever shorter remissions between torturous bouts of treatment – giving ever more heart-breaking opportunities to show how deeply courageous and wonderful these women can be - until the end. Nowadays people are genuine survivors, back to full health. Breast cancer is not Death Row any more. Not at all.

The thing that has not changed is the MacMillans. My mother decided on a Friday that she’d had enough and summoned us all. By the Sunday morning she had been gliding in and out of consciousness, but was still alert. The nurse came, as usual, to cleanse and soothe, and as she left, we said ‘See you later’. The nurse said ‘I don’t think so’. She was right. By 6.30pm that night, we were all sitting around my mother’s bed watching her last breaths. I can’t describe how deeply we appreciated those nurses being there. We knew our mother was in safe hands, and so were we. Their knowing gentleness is something I will never forget.

Rosemary Furber is an author based in London. Her latest book is called 'The Most Intimate Place' and is very good indeed. You can find out more at www.rosemaryfurber.com

Guest Blogger: Miss Glory Pearl

2009-07-17T06:05:00.000-07:00

Puss

I remember the moment last summer when I discovered my mother had kidney cancer. I remember my heart falling from my chest and hitting my stomach with a thud. I remember the flash of abject fear that suffused every cell with dread. And I remember fighting back the tears, swallowing the grief and trying to control myself because this wasn’t about me, it was about her, and I had to be strong.

I sat at my desk, phone in hand and listened as she told me everything. It seemed so cruel; only in the last year had our relationship approximated anything normal and now it was to be tested again and, who knew, even taken from us.

Cancer, the ‘Big C’, is a byword for suffering; a cruel disease that eats us alive and whose rapacious grief devours the lives around us. I heard the fear in my mother’s voice and I heard the fatalism. The second, I challenged. The first, sent tears stinging to my eyes.

That conversation was a catalyst in so many ways. For a short time it brought us closer together. Treatment on the NHS was painfully slow and frustrating and I found myself growing angry at my mother’s ‘don’t want to make a fuss attitude’. Colleagues would ask how she was and I would say that I didn’t really know because I was pretty sure she was keeping things from me. But that didn’t stop the dynamics of our relationship shifting back along similar lines to those that had marked my childhood; where she was the one that mattered and a whole conversation could be had without one question being asked about me, or me ever saying how I was feeling.

How I was feeling was an interesting question. My mood sank steadily and by the end of the summer a deep depression engulfed me. I felt useless and guilty and a total disappointment. At work, my manager grew angry with me; he’d already been pretty pissed off that I’d had time off to go and care for my mother after her surgery, and instead of thinking he should go fuck himself, I felt culpable and scared.

I, too, sought medical advice and was diagnosed with Type II Bipolar Mood Disorder – or manic depression, if you prefer. The effect of the diagnosis was akin to a landmine detonating under my identity and the sense of guilt and failure intensified. How, in all conscience, could I tell my mother of my illness when she had so much to deal with herself? Of course, inevitably, I had to tell her, because I wasn’t at work, and because my cognitive function was so impaired only a fool could think I was okay.

As the leaves fell and the days grew shorter, I worked my way through the canon of anti-depressants, dutifully checked in with the doctor every week, and felt equal guilt and gratitude for the good friends who surrounded me. Everything scared me. Everything. But some force propelled me along to a local burlesque show and in the interval I asked the compere if there were any open spots.

It was the first week in October when I first took to the stage as Miss Glory Pearl. That night, more than all the drugs and the therapy gave me a sense of myself again. I was utterly terrified, not least because my medication slowed me down and made me clumsy – two things you don’t want as a pole dancer – but I got through it and the audience loved me. My best friend cried, and I cried, too, because despite all the shit and the trauma, I did it and did it well.

From that point on, my recovery began in earnest and I discovered something I was born to do; take my clothes off in front of strangers and make them laugh.

Miss Glory Pearl creates genre-defying acts that blend classic burlesque, pole dance, static trapeze and aerial hoop with humour, sparkle, and a healthy dose of British self-deprecation. She teaches exotic dance for Cardiostriptease in Kent and performs regularly on the UK cabaret and burlesque scene, introducing audiences to Burly-Pole, her unique fusion of two great traditions. She has also performed for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer.

You can read more of Puss at The Pole Affair http://pole-dance-affair.blogspot.com

Guest Blogger: Tim Wells

2009-07-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

Tangerine

Her breasts sang loud. I mean, she belted it out from the heart.
The give was fine folksy longing, cider, Sandy Denny, and scarlet ribbons.
But the nipples, the nipples were rawk.
To see her sashay was to feel the beating of joy in the world.
All Bonham and John Paul Jones.
The swing robbed many a young man of doubt.
To see her racking pool balls, oh walls come tumbling down!
Page ran a swathe through her cleavage, crashing chords and walking guitars.
And yes, I was there, caught up in the crush with the rest.
Adoring, and desperate, and feeble.
My hand outstretched, straining but never reaching.
But, I admit, to Houses of the Holy, I bought it all.

Schoolboys have a master to teach them, grown-ups have the poets.
Aristophanes – The Frogs

She is beautiful and slight; not weak, but finely turned:
Much as a precise pair of scales will balance all that is put upon them –
First this way, then that, and then speak true.
The way a leisurely man cups a welcome pair of breasts
And deliberates on the fluctuations of fortune that may be his fate.

Lately she has been cracking comedy, a tough game.
We talk hecklers, You must have had them before? I ask.
She tells of a burlesque she did as a comedy turn
And was barracked by shouts of Show us yer tits!
Did you riposte, You’ll be disappointed?

Her eyes narrow, reveal no humour as she says, They wouldn’t.
As ever, in the hang of the balance, she speaks true.

Tim Wells is a respected face on the London poetry scene, with a number of collections published by DoNut Press. He can be found at: http://www.myspace.com/12caesars

Kiki Kaboom performs for BABC at the Book Club Boutique

2009-07-15T15:20:00.000-07:00

Kirsty Allison performs at the BABC Book Club Boutique night

2009-07-15T15:05:00.000-07:00

Guest Blogger: Kirsty Allison

2009-07-15T14:38:00.000-07:00

Tits Are Great

Wah Tit, Wah Tit, Wah Tit
I’m a baby just born and I want it
Mummy milk, booby feed
I dream to suck bouncy breasts,
Oh, I just wee-ed.

Gah Tit, Gah Tit, Gah Tit
I’m two years old and I luhve it
Bubbling bountiful dewy heaps
Drip feed me mummy! Oi, stunner! No?!
Weeping sag bags, I can’t let go, stitch up the bloody milky bites rinsed flow

Woar Tit, Woar Tit, Woar Tit
When I grow up I’ll be big like Barbie - fit
What? Is this a cock between my legs?
A spot before my eye, I, I, I, I love breasts,
Wow, milk down there, not eggs?

Phwoar Tit, Phwoar Tit, Phwoar Tit,
I’m a teenage boy obsessed with girls bits
My hands are in my trousers, 24 hours a day
I’m a spunk making machine, I think my mum’s got x-ray

Dewy tit, Dewy tit, Dewy tit
Flashback neon rays of birth shoot as young girls permit me to spit,
To lick their chrysalis nipples, like jelly in a silken scarf,
Afronted, ahoy, pirated I am, by sexual dominating zeppelin ships,
Their precipice of slutdom thirst, first class, first, class first

I want Tits, I want Tits, I want Tits,
Every night since I was born I’ve dreamt of mitts on starlit teats
Waifs to chafes, I will adore, Tug those bra straps, amour, more, more, more
Breaking records for my orienteering of mounds, quests obsessed for perfect speciwomans sound,
A knife will sell me the cleavage soft, the solution is surgery, I get the lot, purrr, purr, purr,

Hurt Tit, Hurt Tit, Hurt Tit,
Silicone Everests inside my pecks bleed and beat,
I did it, I’m a half-op sextaur, best parts of men and chick,
Dick with Cleopatra sphinx rack, married to myself, a wife for life
My chest sits pert and hung, sorry mum for what I’ve done

Feel my Tit, Feel my Tit, Feel my Tit
Grope it, Tug it, Worship it,
I’ll play with yours if you pay for mine.
Slap my perfect sugar lumps, I’ve never earned a dime beyond my breasts
Everything I own is thanks to my ambitiously aware lovely lady chest.

Middle aged tit, Middle aged tit, Middle aged tit
Suck it, lick it, wobble, jump it
Eh, don’t you want to strap up this brainless pair
Of paid for accessories that used to get in anywhere
Underneath disease lurks, leather mask, karmic rot, for what?

Boozy tit, boozy tit, boozy tit
Floppy, blobby mammaries, nipples chewed wine stain red,
Chew these fatty funny mother lumps, you sick twisted harlot chemo drunk
Go on take my youth, my despair.
Rape me like I ever cared.

Dying tit, dying tit, dying tit
Forgetting to rub, the devil crossed my Mount Si-nais
Realised the sin had got inside
A cancer thumps this pumped up rack, disaster sacks
Happy I never got fully woman made, my false titties are buried alive, alive

OAP Tit, OAP Tit, OAP Tit
I’m an ancient lesbian loving demented freak man again, still a hit
With my cock still intact, I’m back, to being the full diamond in the rough, just a man who begs to feel, who wants to steal, a look, a sacred secret touch of heaven mounds on earth,
Whatever the size or girth
Tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, glorious dreamy whipped cream heaps of love.

You can find more of this on Kirsty's website.

Recent Burlesque Adventures

2009-07-15T01:09:00.000-07:00

BABC performer Miss Dolly Rose:

The 'post-finishing my degree' feeling of being at a bit of a loose end and not having much to do has thankfully been avoided so far, thanks to a nice busy few weeks with lots of fun shows in a variety of exciting locations (Well, the west country and Croydon, but still, lots of fun!) Only one of them has been in the usual central London type area, and that one was made special by being one of the events put on by the wonderful people who are the reason behind this blog, so it’s been a good month of burlesque adventures for me!

The end of June took me off to sunny Devon, Exeter to be specific, for Kinky and Quirky…

I was performing with my wonderful partner in double act related crime Lena Mae, and also the lovely Fleur Blanche. Points for wonderful looking after of the performers goes to the Bells, who run the night, for many reasons but in particular for providing me with a hay bale for my West Country act so I didn’t have to drag one all the way to Exeter with me. I do love my West Country act but if I’d really thought about how much effort dragging a large, heavy, awkward, shedding hay bale with me everywhere I performed it would be I might have re-thought the idea somewhat!

My secret burlesque ambition is to one day create an act the costume of which can be fitted into a shoulder bag, but I seem to be drawn to thinking up ideas that involve heavy scales/hay bales/A1 posters and easels etc. However, in this instance there was no need for hay bale dragging, which was most wonderful and being an act based around an appreciation of farming, The Wurzels, and excessive cider drinking, it went down very well to a Devon audience. So well, in fact, that my performance became somewhat over-enthusiastic with the end result that I chipped my tooth slightly on my bottle of cider - oh, the perils of burlesque!

Myself and Lena’s double act was it’s usual shambolic but highly entertaining self; I got stuck in my dress, Lena got stuck in her bra, I accidentally hit Lena so hard in the face that I injured her jaw, but other than all that it went very well and everyone seemed to enjoy it, so all’s well that ends well!

The following weekend took me down to Devon again, this time to Plymouth. I stayed in Cornwall with my parents for a few days for this one and I am very proud of myself for braving the perils of swimming in the icy waters of the English sea whilst there. Although if I am completely honest, the only thing that got me in the water was mentioning to a friend before hand that I was going to attempt it and not wanting to admit to being defeated by the cold.

But still, I am proud of my stubbornness if nothing else!

The shows in Plymouth were fun, not as easy a crowd as some as it wasn’t really the usual sort of burlesque audience, but I think it’s very good experience to perform in front of crowds that aren’t as easily appreciative as a crowd who are all specifically there to see burlesque and know what to expect, and it was lovely to meet Coco Deville who was also performing.

My next show after this was the Super Summer Breast Awareness Night at the Book Club Boutique, for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer. I thought this was such a great night. Everyone there and the general atmosphere was lovely. I really enjoyed the fact that the night managed to very much stay on the topic of what we were raising money for, but in a very positive way.

Everyone who spoke, read, played or burlesqued on the night was brilliant so it’s very hard to pick out highlights, but it was great to see Kiki Kaboom’s chav act as I had wanted to see it for absolutely ages and it did not disappoint, one of the funniest acts I’ve seen.

Enjoyable for the opposite reason (in that I had not previously heard them and wasn’t expecting them, was Lola and the Clic; beautiful music with sweet and funny lyrics, really good.

The following weekend took me down to my hometown of Bath for Geisha Go Disco’s Fight Fire With Fire Night. Unfortunately we had to battle with the venue being quite far up a long road on a night when it was absolutely pouring with rain, so the night wasn’t as packed as it deserved to be, but it was still a really nice night and really well organised by Gem. I love doing gigs down in Bath anyway because my parents are generally happy to drive me to and from the venue.

Yay for not having to negotiate buses whilst carrying giant suitcases and easels and all the awkward to carry objects I love to fill my acts with!

After far too little sleep it was off to the magical land of Croydon for Dj Suave’s night the Glitter Room. As per usual with Keith’s nights it was really enjoyable, very well organised and made even better by the providing of a backstage table of crisps and lollipops and triangular sandwiches!

At risk of sounding overly obsessed with lollipops and sandwiches, I must admit that free supplies of them backstage make me extremely happy, particularly later in the night when one is done performing and has had a glass or two of wine and sandwiches that have become slightly stale by this point suddenly become incredibly appealing. After the slightly tipsy hurrah for sandwiches incident, it was off on the train back to London for a very long sleep to recover from a busy weekend of Burlesque adventures.

So yes, that pretty much sums up my recent burlesque related exploits, lots of wonderful times had and lovely people met, and hopefully there will be lots more fun this month for me to write about!

Guest Blogger: Ruby Fortune

2009-07-14T13:52:00.000-07:00

The Dressing Room

A ladies dressing room is her palace, where transformations take place. It holds a mystique. A glamour, a sensual power. The routine of dressing carries its own pleasures, dress up for grown ups.

Satin robe descends to the floor as smooth pale skin is dusted softly with sweet smelling powders. Delicate puffs leave limbs and stomach glistening. A drawer is opened in a grand mahogany cabinet. Inside its treasure boasts the finest lace and satins. Its colours of gold and jewels are inspected with glee and admiration before a fine set of Parisian lingerie is prized from its nesting place. Smoothness encapsulates, caressing breasts and womanhood and sending spirits soaring. A glance in the mirror. A knowing smile.

Manicured hands move to the next drawer to reveal its delights, a fine pair of silk seamed stockings. Each is first slipped gently over perfectly painted, red toenails, before smoothly sliding up a shapely calf and porcelain thigh. Delight comes with each stroke of their fragile fabric against equally perfect skin. Seams are straightened as suspenders snap, enforcing their grip and holding secure until ordered to send each stocking floating to the ground.

Next comes the favourite part. A velvet corset is lifted from its gleaming box. It is admired at arms length, its glorious shape and soft fabric wrapped around strong whalebone. With anticipation, it is held to the body. Marshmallow stomach eager to be encased in its firm embrace. Each pull of the lacing sends another thrill racing through the body. The discipline, the strength of it, reducing the waist to graceful, waspish proportions. Body gasps for breath with exhilaration making breasts heave and fall.

She admires herself for a moment, beautiful figure wrapped in luxurious fabrics, presented perfectly. As she pulls on her fitted dress, the split up the back provocatively moves to flash a perfectly placed stocking top, a tease to those who see her. A glimpse of what they desire but may never know. Each small foot into a daringly high, pencil thin stiletto which clasps tight to her. Each step throws hips from side to side, a hypnotic sway.

With a final spritz of evocative perfume, the transformation is almost complete. A final slick of red lipstick to soft, full lips promising warm kisses and deep pleasures.

A door opens and closes and a dressing room is left alone with simply the scent of a glorious woman.

Miss Ruby Fortune first stepped on the stage in 2005 with burlesque troupe Lady Luck's Burlesque Beauties. The troupe sadly split after a successful run of shows but Ruby went on to a solo career shimmying her way around the world with comedy, dance and music.

As well as live work Ruby has featured in 2 documentaries one of which was used by ITV and to celebrate the Capital of Culture in Liverpool. Ruby was one of 10 figures selected as important to the cities arts and alternative culture. She has also featured in the press including the cover of Total Tattoo and on BBC Radio discussing the rise of burlesque. You can find her at: www.myspace.com/miss_fortuneburlesque

Guest Blogger: Lana Citron

2009-07-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

The Fantasy Bus

9.08

And late

Girl exists London Underground

Bound for the office

Short skirt strides shortened

Clickitty clack heels upon pavement

Clocking in for a day of interminable boredom

Girl takes up appointed position

As temporary city company receptionist

'Good morning.'

Duties consist of sitting with a smile on her face

'Good morning.'

Harder than you may think

So you mustn't

Security guards take it in shift to sit bedside Girl

On this fine,

'Good morning.'

Arnold, a Northern, racist, homophobic

Not his fault environment in which he grew up

Keeps Girl company

9.30

The morning rush subsides and strange

A slow bus trundles along the road

Strange it is painted blue

It is noticed

Eyes are averted from papaers, screens, coffee machines, office seats

And.... oh la la

the big blue open top bus comes to a stopoutside Girl's glass doors

Drum roll and a cough to clear the Maestro's throat

'Ladies and Gentlemen behold the beautiful the sensual, erotic, exotic...

Three lovely ladies

Fun gals come to brighten up your day,'

The Maestro pinched a proffered bum

'Cheeky,

Come take a closer look-

See'

'Caught on camera by the TV crew

''Looksy, we know you want to.'

Girl gets distracted and red-blooded Arnold has already fled

She goes to have a decker

It's not every day you get to sample the best of British journalism

3 TITTY LADIES BARE ALL IN CITY WHOPPER SHOCKER

Smoked glass doors are opened wide

Girl and Arnold step outside

'Woah, she's a ride,' says Arnold to Girl.

'Go on gorgeous, give us a twirl.'

'Awight boys,' calls out Titty One, 'We sure gonna have fun.'

And slowly and oh so teasingly

She pulls her t-shirt up over her body revealing her...

And the crowd yell

'Cor, look at the knockers on that.'

Tasty

Tasty

Very

Very

Tasty

And tastefully exhibited

The important bits hidden behind a golden bikini thingy

9.43

A good crowd has gathered

Fun for all means men and Girl

She doesn't seem to notice, neither do they

Otherwise preoccupied with Titty One

Her hips, bra straps, and her bum

Sway in opposing directions

man calls out, 'get a move on some of us got work to do.'

Titty One satisfies

Her great big boobies are espied

The bikini thingy cast aside

How dutifully displayed

Titty One is most refined

Shows them off like a good little girl

Like she's a good little girl

Flutters her eyes, never done it before

then switches to acting like a dirty whore

In tune, the bleating audience sing the all time classic

'Get your tits out for the boys.'

9.45

Like vermin they appear out of nowhere

Tools down, headed for the spectacle

the crowd has grown like a pregnant woman

Lines of males at windows

Windows opened for the first time ever

Cheering and the like

Then Titty Two joins her pal

She really is a horny gal

'All for you,' coos Titty Two

'But mustn't tell the wife.'

And she pouts out her tush wagging it like a puppy bitch

'Could do wiv a piece of dat.'

'Wouldn't know what to do.'

'Would too.'

Fisty cuffs are formed, punches thrown

'Boys, boys there's plenty for all.' says Titty Three

She lifts up her top, 'See, see.'

9.50

An enormous blob of dribbly drool

Descends down the building forming a pool

Titties titillating, tight trousered crowd

Girl taken in goes along for the ride

She cheers those ladies on

'Bravo... bravo...'

Focus switches, Girl comes into view

Full frontal, fully clothed

9.52

Males are disconcerted, don't know what to do

Very unbecoming behaviour

From a proper lady

Most unsettling

Definately not right

Girl should be behind her desk

Out of sight

The men feel cheated

It's their show

They attack her with cries of

'Lesbo... Lesbo...'

Girl shouts back,

'Would you blame me, look at the state of you lot.'

The Titties laugh

'Good on you Girl,, they shout their support

men lose face, bosses lose money and it's back to work boys

9.55

The crowd disperse and the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round...

Author of five novels, Lana Citron is also a consummate hoarder of kisses and currently working on; 'A Life in Kisses', check her out at www.oneoffkisses.com or at The Big Chill this year or should the fancy take, on the 4th plinth in Leicester Square on Agust the 9th between 9-10am. This edited piece was originally published in Lara's first novel, Sucker and kindly donated to Burlesque Against Breast Cancer, not to mention performed last Monday at the Book Club Boutique.

Guest Blogger: Den Rele

2009-07-13T04:03:00.000-07:00

Breast is Best

I remember a time when a handful was plenty
and all that you needed was a perky pair
but these are the days of the mammoth mammary
of humoungous hooters and big bags of air
of gigantic goombas, GGs and Jordan
and yayas stretched far as a yaya would dare

And I long for a time when a handful was plenty
and all you needed was a perky pair
A time before plastic and silicone implants
a time before big baps became a career

when a boob was a boob and it didn't much matter
whether yours were beestings or bosoms or boulders
as long as you had a nice pair of jubblies
happily jiggling down from your shoulders
before gigantic goombas, GGs and Jordan
and yayas stretched far as a yaya would dare

If only, If only, we'd all band together
us women with chesticles varied and rare
and tell all the lad mags to stuff their bajongas
and take to the streets, fine tittied and fair

With our bristols and bombs, our norks and our jugs
badoinkies, bazoombas, bethas and dugs
highbeams and hummers, honkers and hooters
melons and numnums, knockers, bazookas
our ying yangs, our yazoos, our racks and our wah wahs
babaloos, cha chas, torpedoes and tatas

We'd all spread the word, and start conversations
about all those excuses for self mutilation
like "My body needed more symmetry"
or "my bigger boobs make me feel more womanly"

We'd kick Wonderbra in the "hello boys"
fling out the chicken fillet - oh, joy of joys!
We'd demand bras that fit, not that we fit the bras
and tell all those stupid car show wankers
that our mounds were not made for selling their cars

And we'd take a look at our endless variety
and accept at last that all boobs should hang free
Because every woman in her heart knows this best:
That a breast, is a breast, is a breast, is a breast.

Guest Blogger: Graham Buchan

2009-07-10T04:12:00.000-07:00

Quit

The peach dribbled down your breast
and I smoked my last ever cigarette
inhaling your beauty
and stubbing out my future
under your lowered eyes

Holy

Your breasts, holy
an altar, a font
receive baptism of my ejaculate
and I kneel
and we share
Holy Communion

To Serena

I want to be your sports bra,
As you zip about the court,
'cos there's one thing you can count on:
my unwavering support.

Oh let me hold you firm and tight,
as you smash the opposition;
I can guarantee your boobs
will not stray from position.

And after final victory
as you unwind in the shower
I will sigh, on the locker room floor,
That was my finest hour.

Oh I want to be your sports bra;
I really couldn't be keener
to hold your boobs, big and bold
my beautiful Serena.

Having graduated as a Chemical Engineer and after slumming it for thirty years in the film industry, Graham Buchan finally got round to writing poetry, short fiction and reviews. His books include Airport Reading and There is Violence In These Vapours (both from Tall Lighthouse) and has been on the radio and the telly.

Guest Blogger: Naomi Woddis

2009-07-10T01:17:00.000-07:00

Come, Sleep

Once each nipple was a weathervane,

my pert sun rising beneath a clavicle horizon.

Now an estuary of stretch-marks inks me.

When your calendar is a theif, stealing

all your hours, I'll be the pillow after the dirty

washing of your week. You, who have sucked

the day dry of all its milk, rest your head

between the bookends of my breasts. Come,

sleep with me.

Naomi Woddis has featured at the O2 Wireless Festival, Theatre Royal Stratford East and the Queen Elizabeth Hall as part of the London Literature Festival. Her innovative collaboration online invention, Poerty Mosaic (www.poetrymosaic.wordpress.com) is gaining in international popularity. Her pamphlet "Life is Music" was published in 2007.

Guest Blogger: Emily Breen

2009-07-09T03:41:00.000-07:00

My name is Emily Breen. I'm a columnist for Essex magazine The Edge and contributor to movie site HeyUGuys.co.uk. I recently completed my first novel Trading Up and am working on the second. I live in Chelmsford and I am a regular at the Book Club Boutique. This is my recent contribution from the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer night there.

Boobs Have the Power

In the kingdom of the working flat, the breast is truly King

(or Queen) I mean good looks are nice but boobs still reign supreme

Boobs have the power to make grown men do stupid things

Like spend their cash pursuing them, eschewing wedding rings

(A client left the flat one day so lost in thoughts of chest that the following night he struck up a conversation with me in a bar... and then remembered where he had seen me before)

Boobs have such power

One guest star was an Essex girl - a record breaking bird

And when she dropped her H's none among them said a word

Boobs have the power to make a grown man speechless

Jaw agape, Medusa-stoned; some portions of their features

(Some we just wished were silent - when ringing a flat do try to observe etiquette and avoid using the word titties. Remember you are on the phone not appearing in a porno)

Boobs have such power

GFE required a C to conjure girl next door

Others rather pickier denied that less was more

Boobs have the power to make a grown man want to spend

The less bashful of the species often recommend a friend

("It was an F he said, but young and perky, no sag" Certainly Sir that pair is sitting right here, but there is a woman attached - would you like to hear her description?)

Boobs have such power

I really think the ladies of negotiable affection

Have much to teach us amateurs of cleavage misdirection

Those boobs have the power to make a grown man want to vet

Praise or cuss them and discuss them in a land called Punternet

(We might not yet have mastered alchemy, but a good balconette will make even an A cup runneth over. Still, for some, anything that prefixes double-D is the magic number)

Boobs have such power

Boobs have the power to make a grown man cry

And if they try to claim they don't? My dears, the grown men lie

Boobs have the power to make them all confused

We have all the power... because we control the boobs

(When weilding a pair of your own do try to heed the words of the man in the red catsuit: With great power comes great responsibility!)

Boobs have such power. Be sure to use it wisely.

Picture taken by Rae Jenkin of Emily performing 'Boobs Have the Power' at the Breast Awareness night at the Book Club Boutique at Dicks Bar in Soho, on behalf of Macmillan Cancer Support.

Guest Blogger: Sabrina Mahfouz

2009-07-02T00:16:00.000-07:00

The Lady with the Amazing Breasts

My boyfriend left me the other day
before he left there were a few things he felt he had to say
He wasn't leaving cos he felt stressed, it wasn't that he didn't like the way that I dressed, it certainly wasn't even that he didn't like what we did in bed...

it was because he had met the lady with the amazing breasts.

Beach brown and round as a pound coin; firm as his dick
as he reached out to touch and she gave him a kicking;
nipples that crippled all feeling in his crotch
and were as dusky pink as his blush

as he began to think about the lady with the amazing breasts.

As he carried on and on I looked down at my own which hadn't grown
since me and Melissa watched Grease in 1993
and held 'I must improve my bust they will get bigger still' Olympic heats
in the heat of a summer house

which would never play host to the lady with the amazing breasts.

Two bags of fat, I always said, who really wants that
hanging heavy off them, banging, bumping
diverting eye-to-eye contact, inviting 'oh what a nice... necklace chat'

I used to say no thanks, not me, I'm happy being able to see my feet.

But I do wonder about the lady with the amazing breasts.

I wonder what she looks like in the mirror as she takes off her clothes
I wonder if she can sleep on her front when she goes to bed
I wonder if she's really aware of what she does to some men's heads
I wonder what it feels like to press a hand, can I quickly squeeze please?

I wonder if, after all, she thinks she's the lady with the amazing breasts.

Sabrina is a performance poet, freelance journalist and currently the Entertainment Editor for Chic Today. You can see her perform on Monday July 6th at Dick's Bar in Soho for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer at The Book Club Boutique. She has a Myspace.

Burlesque Against Breast Cancer comes to Soho

2009-07-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

On Monday evening, Burlesque Against Breast Cancer moves to the spiritual home of London sleaze, Soho as we bring our travelling showcase of debauchery promoting 'Ultimate Burlesque' and raising money for Macmillan Cancer Support by hosting at the established literary night, The Book Club Boutique, situated at Dick's Bar, in Romilly Street from 8pm.

Joining us will be cancer survivors, erotic fiction authors, burlesque performers and a whole host of London-based poets who have specially written contributions to perform and contribute to BABC very kindly. These contributions will be featured on here and the BABC website in the near future.

We will be joined by burlesquers... Dolly Rose, Duchess Divine, Jubilee Swoon, Beulah Bell...

Pamina Caruso Brassey will be talking about her fight against breast cancer...

...but we will also be joined by the wonderful Naomi Woodis, Dfiza Benson, Kirsty Allison, Lana Citron, Sophia Blackwell, Tim Wells, Sabrina Mahfouz, Capella Silverangel, Graham Buchan, Den Rele and Joe Duggan...

Entry Free, come and play....

Guest Blogger: Susie Caboose

2009-06-24T17:21:00.000-07:00

The Caboose.

A delightful pseudonym conspicuously chosen for a lady with a rear-end of particularly ample proportions. It took me awhile to decide on a name which would represent my alter-ego; which would pervade the dirty, delicious ass-pects lurking in the perverted corner of the brain, located in part of the hypothalamus (You know, that part...responsible for sexual behaviour. See, I knew we were on the same page!)

It didn’t always occur to me that my name should focus on an epic region of my body. After all, it is behind me. I also wondered if that was the message I wanted to send out. Did I want to use the art form as a tool of manipulation against hyper female objectification or did I wish to flaunt it with a splash of liberation in a pool party of emancipating exhibitionists?

Burlesque has caused me to have several feminist debates with myself. I can go in circles for hours (but at least I always win.) The point is, you can do both, or neither. Burlesque is like the clay of theatre genres. You can shape it into whatever you desire. No pun needed.

Once I chose my angle, my roommate and I practically went through the entire directory of cutesy monikers for ones bottom.

And that’s where the tale begins, of a little ol’ bootylicious-betty who takes her rump to the stage. Since then, the Burlesque Sea has raged with many perils. As many of us sexy sailors have lived to tell their stories. A gig will probably never turn out exactly how you planned. Unless you have super powers (like in my next show! Wink, wink!)

A great example of that is the night I hosted my first show. After a ridiculous amount of time fussing over a self-edited track for one of the nights performances, I decided last minute it would be easier to literally just bring my computer to the venue. And this is no portable laptop. This is a heavy G4 Mac desktop wrapped up in Styrofoam in a massive box. I entered the bar looking like I brought my entire apartment with me.

Fortunately, I was able to set it up on the bar without much of a problem. No, because those came later. After disregarding a lot of odd behaviour from the bar manager and the bartender (I’m talking excessive laughing, weird comments etc.) the show went on relatively smoothly. Until one of our lovely guest performers was on stage in the middle of her routine and the music just cuts out! I turn in a snap to see what happened.

When I hear someone inquisitively murmur, “Why’d you unplug it?!” The bar manager had accidentally unplugged the computer. How could that be, I wondered to myself. Luckily, the dancer on stage did an adorable and compelling job of keeping her poise in the face of Oops! Shortly after that little doozy, the bar guy pulls me aside, and asks me if I’d like some mushrooms. “What?” I reply. “You know, some ‘shrooms! The bartender and I have some.” “You’re on ‘shrooms?!” Persistent laughing. Oh my. And then it all makes sense. Hallucinogens. Right. Okay. I get it.

After that, you just learn to roll with the punches. And there’s quite a few. But this isn’t boxing, this is burlesque! And I’m going to look pretty darn it! No matter what happens.

Susie Caboose is performing with The Dirty Dollar Dollies at Good Handy's in Toronto on the evening of July 10th, in aid of Women's Shelter.

Guest Blogger: Miss Dolly Rose

2009-06-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

Hello! I’m Miss Dolly Rose, a London based burlesque performer who’s been performing for about ten months now.

I thought first I should do an initial blog to introduce myself a bit and also, as I’m quite a new performer and I thought it might interest people thinking about getting into it, I’d write a blog about how I got into burlesque and the experience of my first performance last August!

Like quite a lot of performers, I come from a background of doing a lot of dancing. I’ve done ballet, tap, jazz, contemporary, Arabic, Irish and ballroom to name a few!

One of the main reasons behind my desire to get into burlesque was that I absolutely loved dancing and performing, but I’m not really physically cut out to become a classical dancer, so I love being able to perform a form of dance where one can play to one’s own strengths. Especially the choosing whatever style and blend of dance, humour, acting etc one wants!

I also love anything creative and fashion related, so planning costumes, choreographing routines etc is so much fun, although I rather fear I’m going to discover my uni grades have gone downhill since I started performing, as pretty much all my spare time seems to go into burlesque related activities these days!

I think I was sixteen or seventeen when I saw my first burlesque show in Bristol and I’ve wanted to do it ever since then, but didn’t get round to it as moving from Bath to London and starting uni etc, somehow got in the way and it got rather put to the back of my mind as one of those ‘one day I’ll do that’ type of things.

However, during my second year at uni, it finally started turning into more of a ‘one day soon I’ll do that’ type of thing and I booked myself on Jo King’s course (which was brilliant) and really changed my views on what sort of performance I wanted to do. Originally, I was quite interested in the more classic side of burlesque, but Jo’s course really opened my eyes as to the fun of doing more comedy based routines and having routines with a plot, gimmicks etc.

Although one can obviously teach oneself the technical basics of burlesque like tassel twirling etc, I’d really recommend going on a course as it really helped me learn how to develop a routine and I think I would be quite a different (and very likely, worse) performer if I hadn’t learnt from Jo King. Plus Gypsy Charms at The Ministry of Burlesque, who I take improvers classes with now.

My first show was in August last year, at a night my friend Tom was putting on in Bath. He mentioned on a night out that they wanted burlesque performers for the night and I rashly asked if I could do it!

This seemed like a great idea until the reality of what I had said I would do hit and I realised I really didn’t have that long to think up a routine, let alone find the right music, plan/make/buy the costume and do the choreography.

The routine I performed is still the one I do most often and I still love doing it, but creating a routine for the first time involved so much more work than I would initially have imagined. My main memory of this time was naively assuming finding a 1950s song, of the right length and speed to dance to, which lyrics suitable to a routine about weight loss would be relatively easy.

No, no it really wasn’t!

In fact, I think I have pretty much an entire shelf of obscure 1950s music now from my struggle to find that song.

However, eventually I came across ‘Plenty of Love and 20 Calories’ by Jayne Mansfield, which was perfect!

Costume was another thing which I assumed would be easier than it was. Anyone who’s ever been shopping with a mental image of a certain type of dress or top in their mind will know what it’s like, nothing is ever quite what you imagined.

It only took a few days of frantically searching the internet for me to realise that I was going to have to make it myself. Thankfully however, my wonderful mother (who is an awful lot better at sewing than me) helped me out at this point and saved me from the horror of what would have been the results of me trying to make it myself.

On the subject, I would say to anyone thinking of getting into burlesque, learn to sew, it’ll make your life a lot easier!

Choreography I found the easiest aspect of putting it all together, but I’m so glad I filmed it a lot before I ever performed it. More than once I thought I’d come up with an absolutely awesome bit of choreography only to discover that nothing could be further from the truth. But yes, so now I had my routine all put together with costume and music and props and everything, so onto my first performing experience. I can say pretty safely, probably the most nervous I have ever been in my entire life.

I pretty much didn’t eat all day I was so nervous, but then worried that might make me faint, so ate chocolate to up my blood sugar and then just ended up feeling faintly sick. Well done me. I have a very clear memory of standing by the side of the stage before I went on thinking to myself,

‘Why am I doing this?!’, but once I actually got on stage I really needn’t have worried. I had so much fun and the bouncy adrenaline filled feeling of being on stage more than made up for the 'oh dear god what am I doing moment' beforehand. I’m always so happy and energetic after a show, which generally lasts a lot longer than the terrified feeling beforehand, thankfully...

The routine all went pretty smoothly other than my bra almost getting stuck, but thankfully, this was an opportunity for me to learn the fact that little costume problems and mistakes are generally a much, much bigger deal to you than they are to the audience. Most of my ‘oh my god, was the bit with the bra really noticeable?’ type comments were met with the response that people didn’t even know which bit I meant, so whilst I think it’s always important to try and learn from messing up on stage, one can take comfort in the fact that, as a general rule, the audience is not going to notice tiny things like that if the routine is generally entertaining, and there’s no point in beating yourself up over it.

So yes, that’s pretty much a summary of how I first got into burlesque. I’m so happy I got up the courage to do it as I’ve had so many amazing experiences both onstage and offstage in the last ten months, performing at some brilliant events and meeting some really lovely people. Fingers crossed there are many more amazing things to come...
Miss Dolly Rose will be performing at the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer Breast Awareness Night at Dick's Bar, in Romilly Street, Soho on the evening of the 6th of July from about 8pm, with lots of other lovely people, plus a few surprises. She can be found at www.myspace.com/missdollyrose

Guest Blogger: Tempest Rose

2009-06-22T21:01:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I would like to thank Burlesque against Breast Cancer for kindly inviting me to contribute to this wonderful blog and to show my support for this worthwhile cause, and secondly to thank all those who have supported my work over the last few years. And lastly I’d like to dedicate this story to Scott – a Good Samaritan!

I came to burlesque through a career in traditional theatre and musical theatre as do many burlesquers and burlesque will always be to me a wonderful form of entertainment with a long proud history. It allowed me as a performer to find a creative freedom that as a ‘jobbing actress’ was previously unavailable to me and to bring together the many skills and talents I had acquired over the years.

I am always flattered when girls fascinated and entranced by the spectacle of burlesque come to me and say ‘I want to do that!’ but always feel obliged to gently probe their reasons behind wanting to take it up and to give an insight into the realities of the job. We live in a society where the years of hard work put into art and entertainment are often overlooked and the common perception is that being a performer is an easy way to glamour, riches and adoration.

Being a burlesque performer uses almost every skill I have ever acquired in my life and takes up every spare bit of time I have. I am performer, director, producer, costume designer, script writer, musical director, PR representative, press agent, technician, negotiator, business woman and teacher all rolled into one!

The job requires not only extreme organisation but extreme flexibility to cope with any situation. Colleagues of mine have often whiled away the hours laughing about the ridiculous situations we have found ourselves in. From blowing up balloons in full make up and costumes on a packed Friday night tube train rushing from one gig to another; keeping a full West End audience entertained as the sound desk malfunctioned during one our Kitten Club troupe numbers; standing under a freezing cold shower soaking my outfit to go onstage looking as if I have been caught in a rain storm; to having to walk through crowded venues with people dancing with drinks in their hands in hundreds of pounds worth of costuming.

I have performed on stages that I haven’t ever seen before until I have stepped onto them in front of an audience to perform. I’ve used my wits to cleverly put down a member of the audience who seemed to feel that a ticket to a burlesque show entitled you to touch the performers. I’ve woken up with swollen eyes due to constantly using false eyelashes and most recently, been stranded at 11.30pm in Southampton having missed the last train to London due to a delayed ferry connection.

It is to this last situation that I must extend my thanks to ‘Scott’, who saw it in his heart to offer three stranded cabaret performers with three suitcases and a bicycle a lift to London and spared us a night stuck at the rail station! I have performed to packed houses and celebrities and shared stages with them which was utterly thrilling, but also wanted to cry when tickets for other shows would not sell no matter what we did. Glitter, fabulous costuming, technical malfunctions, law suits, full houses, television appearances, praise and criticism… it’s been an incredible few years!

These types of stories will be familiar to most burlesque and cabaret performers for whom performance is in their blood and who strive everyday to become better at what they do. I can honestly say I have loved (nearly!) every second of it and would not do anything else.

Burlesque is wonderfully inclusive and performers come from all walks of life and backgrounds and each bring their own wonderful unique style and experience. It’s not for any one person to dictate who can and can’t be a performer but for each person to be honest about whether it’s really for them. If you can change in to full make up and costume in a tiny, dirty room with no sink and no mirror and no help and emerge to perform looking like a million dollars with a smile on your face…then come join the family!

Tempest Rose is a singer, performer and dancer. She has her own revue show currently in Oxford. She has twirled at all the major London venues, as well as appeared on national tv, radio and West End theatre. You can find out more at www.tempestrose.com

When BABC came to Brixton

2009-06-22T08:29:00.000-07:00

BABC events organiser and 'Ultimate Burlesque' contributor, Mark Farley:

One of the great things about taking BABC out on the road has been the sheer enthusiasm and support from the burlesquers who have dedicated their time and effort to raising money for Macmillan. This was no more than evident than when we brought BABC to Brixton last October.

I contacted Sharon Kay on Facebook in the hope that she would come and perform for us and knowing that she ran a great series of instructional tutorials and lessons in performance, she would know one or two people that would step up and twirl for charidee.

I took a punt and trusted her judgment that it would only take a show from one other person she had in mind to put on a great show. Initially, I was skeptical. I'd put on at least three or four other ladies on at other shows. But I needn't have worried. As we pitched up at the boutique pub, pushing through the colourful and dubious folk in Brixton market, I was greeted with a much smaller venue than I expected and started to get very nervous indeed. Myself and my partner started to fool around with the DJ equipment, wondering how it worked and soon enough we were joined by Sharon, who performs as Indiana Belle, who came with the stunning and beautiful Annette Bette Kellow.

Annette had recently won the Best Newcomer title at the London Burlesque Festival and was part of Sharon's stable of lovelies and immediately, I realised what Sharon said was true. She really did completely embody the world of glamour and burlesque. Even before the performance kicked off, she perched on a stool and sucked on a straw seductively as she told me about her life. She was wearing a gorgeous red satin dress and beamed a glowing smile, as well as narrowing her gorgeous eyes in the most coy way. I looked down her gorgeous long stockinged legs and her vintage, velvet pumps and a pang of eternal love rushed through me.

What they went on to do was show a textbook display of traditional burlesque dance that would rival the greatest earners in Vegas. Annette took on major stool and stocking tease as she peeled out of her sleek layers, while Indiana gave us an expert fan routine, complete with a very fabulous hat and cane display.

If that wasn't enough, the small intrigued crowd at The Dogstar were also treated to renditions of their stories, including the very mysterious Wanda Von Mittens, myself and my 19th Century tale of saloon whores and the brilliant and rousing actor, mat Fraser with quite possibly the best written story in 'Ultimate Burlesque', set in a club in New York called The Slipper Room.

But possibly the best part of the night was when Chris Manby rose to her feet, spoke passionately about her cousin Claire dying of breast cancer at the age of 35. She treated us from a reading from an old Stephanie Ash novel she wrote for X-Libris, something that I was quite excited about for a start.

It was a great night and despite low crowd numbers, people in attendance were both impressed and full of enthusiam for what we were doing for Macmillan.

Sharon Kay runs the venture Burlesque Baby.
Annette Bette Kellow is currently working on the film, A 1940s fable.

Guest Blogger: Pussy Velour

2009-06-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

I currently reside in Gloucester (sadly) after having moved from country to county to city and I have been a performer for 11 years now. Although not always in Burlesque.

I initially started out in my late teens/early 20's when I was at Bristol University studying a Law degree. I worked in The Rummer Basement as a dancer for a resident Fetish club company. Funnily enough this is how I also got into my modelling career. I cage danced in various fetish outfits, from the non-existant to the down right uncomfortable. But this did allow me to live the 'life of reilly' while at Uni.

While others struggled on student loans, hand outs from the bank and parent's hard earned cash, I was earning a nice little wage cash in hand, which is good as a Law degree was one of the more expensive ones.

The hours were great, I made some wonderful friends and learned a LOT of new things. It showed me a side of life I had never known about and never seen but only heard of through living near Brighton when growing up in my teenage years. I had danced since I was a child, with my parents sending me to every dance class possible, so it was natural for me to gravitate towards a club to dance. I loved it so much, I always felt free and happy-go-lucky and alive when dancing, so I enjoyed this immensely and getting paid was a bonus.

As soon as you mention fetish club, most people assume dirty, grimey room with sleazy people. It could not be further from the truth. Everyone was always lovely, no one ever tried to force anyone into doing anything they were not comfortable with and the men were gentlemen. Unlike some of the guys I have met in normal high street dance clubs.

From here, I danced at other clubs around the country for different sponsors and events. But then I moved away from Bristol and eventually ended up in small town called Gloucester and thought I would never be able to dance properly again. I started to teach myself other forms of dance, such as Latin, and Ballroom.

I was always fascinated by anything from the 1900's up to the 1960's (I was sooo born in the wrong decade) so it naturally followed that I started to investigate burlesque dancing techniques. I was a massive Dita fan, but I wanted to learn where it all came from and how it developed across the world, so I started to study. That's when I started to mix up the Latin, Ballroom, gymnastic and acrobatic movements, circus styles, street style and break dancing along with pole dancing moves to come up with my own burlesque style.

I didnt want to be 'the next Dita', we had a beautiful lady who was already famous for being an amazing traditional 50's Burlesque performer, so I didn't feel the need to try to be something I could never be. I wanted to make my own form of burlesque routines. I didnt want to copy anyone else and I didnt want anyone copying me either.

I'd practiced these moves in my bedroom and on the dancefloors of every club I could persuade my friends to come with me to. It was not until 2 years ago when a tattooist friend of mine decided that Gloucester, where I had moved to, needed some decent entertainment. He decided to put on a burlesque cabaret show. I was the main performer and it went down a storm, we were turning people away at the door. Gloucester had never seen anything like it before. The crowd went wild. I loved it.

I got my spirit back and the boost I needed. I was alive again. I decided that was it, I was actively going to seek out dance work no matter where it was. If I could get a train to the location, I would take the job. A company called The Lollipop Lounge started up a year later in Cheltenham and I was asked to be a regular dancer for them, I was not goingto say no. Once again, the audience were new to this form of entertainment. Half of them had never even heard of burlesque, let alone seen it. They were hungry to be entertained.

All the girls who danced for The Lollipop Lounge got on great, like a family. Like a circus, I suppose. Each of us were very different in our styles and the audience loved that. I sided towards comedy and circus styles, which the others went the route of Cheesecake and traditional mixed with modern or neo comedy burlesque. Ladies always ask me... It is as glitzy and glamourous as it appears and I always say , YES, Yes it is :-)

The costumes are superb and beautiful. The dancers are graceful and amazingly talented, the background and history of this entertainment is fabulous and colourful just like the props we dancers use. It is magical and fun and lighthearted and enjoyable for all who come and for those who participate.Dont get me wrong, I have worked all over the UK in the last 2 years from the grotty back street clubs where the audience have no idea what they are in for or what to expect - with changing rooms you could not swing a corset in, shared with groups of girls on top of each other clambering for some mirror space, not quite the glamour facade the industry paints to the observer, to the beautiful comfy ornate changing rooms of big hotels and clubs. The sort of treatment you would expect a dancer of the burlesque calibre to be rewarded with.

But one thing that I have always found everywhere I have gone to work, is a warm welcome from those who have invited me to perform, a smile on every audience members face, a cool drink from every helper, a bag carrying young man who is more than happy to help and a HUGE hug and kiss from every perform I have ever had the joy to meet and work along side.

The burlesque and performance industry to me has been one big family, where we have all looked out for each other, helped each other and supported each other when needed. I have made some of my best friends in the last few years on the burlesque circut and I would not change that for all the Camden Council petition's to the government to regulate this wonderful, beautiful form of entertainment.

I now run burlesque events myself in Gloucester at The Gloucester Guildhall - an old Victorian ballroom restored to its original beauty. I love all the girls I work with and they are all regulars who want to come back and work for me again. I perform at all my own events as well as compere at them. My mum even bakes cakes that we give to all audience members.

Burlesque is a family to me and I want the audience to feel that too, like in the 1940's where everyone pulled together and created their own entertainment for their community. The audience members are regulars to every event. They know all the dancers by name and are friends with each of them on Facebook and keep in regular contact with them and how they are doing. This is what it is all about. Good entertainment, happy punters, friendly atmosphere, the desire to come back again, a closer community through the events and the appreciation of the effort all performers make.

These events in Gloucester have opened the eyes of many of those who have attended who are amazed by the talents of the dancers, and the costume makers. These audience members have thanked me for bringing them something beautiful that they can share with they friends and partners and provides them with education about history, entertainment and the empowerment of women. It has taught a lot of girls not to be so self-concious and that they are beautiful no matter what their size.

However on the flip side, being a performer has caused be problems, not with day jobs or with managers of venues, but instead with my personal life.Burlesque performing has caused issues with every relationship I have had over the last few years. Partners have either not cared and not bothered to watch me performing because they were not interested in the art form. Or they have been so bored by burlesque from working in the industry that they see the performances as 'same old same old'. Or worst case, partners have been appalled by me taking my clothing off on stage, seeing the entertainment as nothing more than stripping. Either way, it has caused massive arguments and heartache and anguish. I wish it did not have to be this way, but a lot of the girls I have worked with have had similar experiences with partners, which makes me wonder if it is all worth while.

My boyfriend was ‘chatting’ to me the other day, basically telling me how unimpressed he was with the fact that I am still a Burlesque performer – it was nothing to do with my age – as I am 31, but I would like to point out I do not look it, I have taken care of myself – oh no, it was more to do with the fact that he thinks I am up on stage being a ‘cock tease’. I was horrified.

Don’t get me wrong my friends I like a little flirt as much as the next woman, it shows me I am still alive and not a droopy old minger just yet, but to think I am going on stage on purpose to spite him and show off my muff to all and sundry because I am a cock tease was just a little too much. Basically he sees me as nothing more than a stripper in a cheap club, which saddened me greatly.

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with being a stripper – a lot of Burlesque performers have started out this way, including some of the Moulin Rogue girls, who are among the best dancers in the world. Most strippers work very hard for their money and they are very fit ladies. It can be a hard world to be in and you have to tolerate a lot from some of the punters, I have seen girls being treated very badly for no reason at all and it by no means should be like that with anyone who is offering a service that shows their talents. They certainly should not fear for their safety. So please do not any of you think I am saying that strippers are lower class entertainers, that is not what I think, if anything of recent from being a dancer for 11 years I have noticed it is men who mainly think a stripper is a lower form of the entertainment and they don’t appreciate how hard some of those girls work and how fit they have to be to entertain.

The reason it saddened me, apart from the fact most of the strippers I know earn a lot more than me for dancing, I spend a fortune on decadent costumes to thrill and excite the inner magpie in all of us, I spend hours sorting music, arranging the timings and hours coming up with story lines for my routines and then choreographing them to depict the story line in the movements. For example, one of my routines is a based on a Japanese ritual dance and I perform with live blade Japanese swords, I wear a traditional Japanese outfit as well that I take off using Geisha movements prior to dancing with the swords, not something I have seen many strippers do – but apparently despite the effort as far as he is concerned, I am just getting my knockers out and thrusting my cock in men’s faces’ to get them erect!

Personally, I have yet to find a member of the audience who is sexually excited by a woman throwing swords about – I think the emotion they are feeling at that point is more fear for their lives.

Apparently, all the hours I put into sorting the routines out is pointless, as I am just stripping at the end of the day like some lude woman of the night to see men drool, etc. What he fails to notice on the occasions he has seen me perform is that 80% of the audience is FEMALE, not male. The men who do come are not aroused in fact if anything they are blinded by sparkly sequins and choking on feathers. The men in the audience do like it, but not in a dirty sordid way, they like the fact the dancers have put in so much effort, they appreciate a pretty girl, they enjoy the fact we are good dancers and put thought into the ideas behind the routines.

But more than anything it is the LADIES who come to watch that get the most enjoyment out of it. It is mostly THEM we are doing it for. To show them you need not be ashamed of your bodies no matter of your size, to show you are never too old, to show you can be fit and dance well with a little bit of practice. The women who come to the shows LOVE the glitz and glamour, they enjoy getting dressed up and drinking cocktails with their friends, meeting new people, having a chat to those with common interests, having a laugh with the dancers afterwards and talking costumes ad sequins and ‘Ooh, where DID you get that hat, I must have one’ – it is all about ALL the women, dancers included dressing up and feeling special and praising each other and supporting each other as a community. How does that make me cheap or a cock tease?

Why do I do perform burlesque?

Well, apart from the fact I have always danced since I was a child, I fell into performing when I was at Uni. I love to dance, it makes me feel free as a bird and keeps me fit. I do perform burlesque instead of stripping because I LOVE the costumes. It is all about the costumes and getting dressed up.

I got bullied as a child, all the way up till I was 17 for being ugly. I was called ugly every day, had chewing gum put in my hair, clothing ripped or had shit smeared on it, things thrown at me. The boys at my school never really spoke to me as I was unattractive and unpopular – now, I get to stand up on a stage and no one takes the piss anymore and that is a great boost to the self esteem I have snatched away when I was growing up – THAT is what performing burlesque is about. The confidence, the social scene, the dressing up, the friends you make and the family you all become through the events.

As I said, this is just my opinion and how it all feels to me, I am not making assumptions that all performers see it the same way – but for those of you who have had similar ‘cock tease’ comments made at you I would love to know what you think of it all. Anyway, as this topic touched me I thought I would share it with you all as some of my burlesque beauties out there will know where I am coming from on this. Others may disagree.

Who knows? It may spark a really interesting debate.

Pussy Velour will be running a traditional Victorian burlesque show at The Gloucester Guildhall, Westgate Street on Saturday August 1st. Tickets available on line from the Gloucester Guildhall Box Office or The Velour Palace website - http://www.velour-palace.com/

Guest Blogger: Bella De Jac

2009-06-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone that came along on Saturday had a fantastic time.

Festival of Sins. Gluttony was a riot!

My favourite part (I have to say) was Nathan Shame dressed like Ronald MacDonald how he would really look after scoffing all those cheese burgers. Very evil!

I get up to London quite frequently as so much of the burlesque work is centered there. What doesn't always happen is that I have enough spare time before the show to get in something to eat that isn't picked up from Victoria station between National Rail and the tube.

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to fit in a quick catch up with my friend and burlesque performer Duchess Divine at The Diner in Camden. Diners are a bit of a weakness of mine and friend of mine introduced me to this gem late last year. There is something fabulously kitsch, American and comforting about diner food. I mean American diner food, not truck stop diner food. It fuels my ever increasing fascination with certain elements of the vintage US culture.

I figured an enormous milkshake before a performance was not such a hot idea so I ordered a soda float and hot dog as we babbled about the hot topic of the moment. Camden Council and their determination to stomp out low budget burlesque night. See any of the online communities for the full story, in particular Burlesque Women's Institute is documenting it pretty well.

So...backstage.

The curious part, I find in English buildings and transport is as Summer slowly creeps in, the temperature inside soars up. Backstage areas particularly become little sweatboxes. Trust me, trying to pat translucent shimmer powder over your entire body when you're as sticky as the inside of a toasted marshmallow proves counterproductive at best.

Aside from the relentless heat, the atmosphere backstage was friendly and fun and I took comfort in the fact that at least I didn't have to lie down starkers while being covered in prosthetic makeup and sweets to look like a garroted victim of some evil sweetie fairy, like one brave lass was.

My other distinct pleasure of the evening was getting to meet the unfairly gorgeous Mr Mistress, and Vicky Butterfly with her divine costume. My act went off with a few minor hitches, in fact it was the first time I'd ever had my music stop dead in the middle of my act before. Not to worry, the audience didn't seem to be bothered and after a bit of cheesecaking from myself the DJ got the music back on before too long.

Burlesque tip: there is nothing that can go wrong on stage that can't be handled. If the music stops just ham it up until it comes back on.

As it stands, everyone I spoke to after I did my bit was gushing in their praise so it can't have been too bad!

Bella de Jac can be found at www.belladejac.com and has performed for BABC in Brighton.

Guest Blogger: Jubilee Swoon

2009-06-20T05:57:00.000-07:00

Autumn 2008

I reply to a shout out from the delectable Wet Spot proprietor and burlesque performer Ryvita Von Cheese on MySpace. She’s looking for local burlesque performers to work with actress Kitty McGeever (who plays Lizzy Lakely on ITV's Emmerdale) on her upcoming charity stage show at The Carriageworks Theatre Leeds for Macmillan Cancer Care.

‘Hey Ms Cheese, are you looking for nubile young lovelies for this show or will clapped out old mums do?’

‘Shut yer face you old sauce pot, you’d be perfect.’ She retorts.

I’m in and it gets better! Calender local news want to film some of the rehearsals at the now dearly departed Yorkshire Television Studios.

Oh the glamour!

We meet RADA trained actress Kitty McGeever at YTV a few days later. Kitty explains some of her ideas for her show ‘Luvvie’s Blind’ while her friendly guide dog snuffles around the table looking for cream cakes to pinch. Oh yes, I neglected to mention Kitty is also completely blind – the show is a humorous take on Kitty’s own experiences of blindness including sketches and songs. The proceeds from the show are to go to Macmillan after Kitty helped to support her sister, script writer Caroline Mitchell with her own battle with breast cancer.

We (that’s me, ‘Vita, Ruby Buttons and Bam Bam Blue from The Boneshakers and Lexi Sexx and Lily Von Lush from rival Leeds burlesque troupe The Dagger Dames) rush off to change into our assorted corsets/bras/stockings and suspenders. We are filmed shimmying about a bit behind Kitty as she wows the cameraman dancing with her white stick in a most unusual manner to the strains of ‘Hey Big Spender.’

The six of us appear on Calender’s teatime edition the following evening after Kitty’s studio interview. My dad phones to congratulate me on my five seconds of fame. He must have been so proud seeing his half-naked daughter jiggling away on telly whilst eating his shepherd’s pie.

Rehearsals for the show continue on a weekly basis and Ryvita and I somehow find ourselves in a short comedy burlesque routine that we choreograph between the three of us. Kitty dancing with her white cane, ‘Vita and I with our top hats and canes. We practice a lot. None of us are us are used to performing in a troupe and when one of your troupe members is completely blind you’d better get your timing spot on.

Over the coming weeks I’m lucky enough to meet some fantastic people and watch them at work. Unsurprisingly ‘Luvvie’s Blind’ is a resounding success. Our small segment goes without a hitch and we’re relieved that we did a good job for Kitty and our pasties didn’t fly off in front of half of the cast of Emmerdale who are in the audience. From the wings we hear the roar of applause that greets the finale and I notice Kitty’s sister Caroline shed a tear and go off to compose herself behind the scenes. It had been a long journey for Kitty and Caroline and one that Macmillan had helped to make possible.

Jubilee Swoon is a resident of West Yorkshire and has been performing burlesque for over a year at events all over the U.K including The Slippery Belle, The Wet Spot and The London Burlesque Festival where she won the Best U.K Solo Newcomer category at the Battle Royale. You can see more about her on her Myspace.

Guest Blogger: Pussy Velour

2009-06-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

My name is Mary Lynch. By day I work as an IT security engineer and on weekends I am a burlesque performer and events organiser. About 15 years ago, my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer.

At first it didnt really register with me. I was reasonably young, had led a sheltered life up till then. I was not particularly close to either of my parents and my mum was the hardest woman I knew.

She was invincible. She had me late on in life (at 42 years old) and gone straight back to work months later. She worked in the catering industry as a manager and took no shit from anyone. She was physically stronger than most men I knew and mentally stronger than anyone else. So it was odd seeing her weak and sick.

It was quite confusing as she became someone else, she was no longer my mum. She was a sick, complaining old woman. I hated it and sadly did not show her the love and support I should have done.

She went into hospital to have that part of the bowel removed, my dad went to pieces as he was used to her looking after him and I was the same, except I showed no emotion at all on the matter, I didnt know how to - a trait I got from my mum who never showed any kind of emotion as she viewed it as a sign of weakness.

The operation was successful, the doctors believed they had removed all the cancer. They kept her in for a few days, then let her come home. She was in a LOT of pain, but refused to take pain killers. She was given a diet sheet as there was certain foods she was no longer allowed to eat and there were some foods deemed as being good for cancer and for keeping it at bay.

She was given medication to take which she hated doing, as she didnt believe in being weak enough to need medication. It took her a while to get back to herself and get back on her feet - she was told to rest for at least 1 month, within 2 weeks she was back going on day trips with me to Brighton on weekends - slowly tottering along, but she needed to do it, she felt she was letting herself down more than anything by not 'beating' what had happened to her.

She was meant to stay off work for at least 4-6 months, however she was back at the hotel working within 2 months, cycling the 10 miles to work at 5am every morning.

A few years later, she had another relapse and had to go back for a second operation - at 65 years old they were not hopeful for her as more bowel was being removed. But as I said ,she was a hard lady and nothing had ever beat her before, so she once again pulled through. But this second operation really took its toll. She had to retire from work - which really pissed her off and she had start taking things easier. She was weak and shakey for longer.

She had now become a carer for my dad who was slowly becoming crippled by arthritis, so she was stuck in the house with a husband who had to be waited on hand and foot - which has only got worse over the years.

Every 6 months she went for her check-ups - most of the time on her own as I was not always able to get time off work - I cannot even begin to imagine how this must have made her feel. Because she was always so emotionless and hard I never even considered she may have had feelings on the matter and the fact she had to be intruded every 6 months to make sure 'The Cancer' had not come back. All was good though, after 3 years, her check-ups were dropped to every year.

It is odd how neither her nor I cried about any of it, yet my dad bawled like a 3 year old every day over it all for years and he was petrified that she would relapse. I think mother wanted to block out what was going on to help her get on with life and work, rather than dwelling on it and perhaps I was doing something similar or maybe I am just that heartless - I really dont know.

Mother and I now holiday with each other twice a year, I go out with her every other Saturday and we go for regular weekends away - making the most of time. She comes to all my events that I dance at and often helps me organise them as well.

But of recent, she has started to have bad stomach pains and difficulty keeping food down. She says she feels the same as she did when she was first ill. Her GP does not know what is wrong with her, so has set up an appointment with the cancer specialist at the local hospital. Mother is just waiting for a date to come through and the medicine she has to take for 48 hours before the examination.

She is very anxious - at 72 another operation is unlikely - so we are just hoping that it is a stomach bug or her ulcers playing up. But we will have to wait and see.

I think if she is ill again, we might both finally show some emotion on the situation. The doctors and nurses have always been great and helpful and we are really grateful to them all for doing such amazing and difficult jobs. My mum always donates to Cancer charities and I have taken part in fundraising thruogh burlesque events for cancer research and will always continue to support them when I can in their amazing work.

Pussy Velour is a burlesque performer and runs the Velour Palace in Gloucester, who do themed monthly events of a very decadent and elegant manner. She's also the face of Red Rabbit Books.

Guest Blogger: Leigh Annell

2009-06-12T05:48:00.000-07:00

I'm Leigh, a father of 4 and a very young 31.

I'm married to great lady called Jamie and we live in nice fixer upper council house. I'm a full time mature student although others would disagree, studying Media Management.

My connection with cancer is that of a battle, a real family war really, as before my mum had cancer we used to fight a lot and when I say fight, we were like two children in the play ground and as of a result, we stopped speaking for 4 years until the day I had THE phone call.

And then, after crying through guilt over not really being there, both myself and my mum put things aside and rebuilt bridges, united in the news and I got to know my mum again, not to mention vice versa. We attended support groups like the Macmillan Cancer Information & Support Centre and my mum, who's faith wavered a bit, started visiting church again everyday.

Although I didnt realise really how strong my mum was but with every treatment, every doctors appointment, she seemed to become more defiant and so as the cancer passed, it seemed to change two lives. And now we ring each other every day, if only just to see how much each others phone bill is.

I wrote this for my mum to read out at her support group and now has it framed in her bathroom, of all places.

NO TITLE

Never thought the C word
Would happen to me

My healthy life style
Salads and green teas

All this fussing from people around
Myself, I'm amazed at the new strength that I've found.

Thinking about things I've done in life
Wondering what would happen under the knife?

The thing about this sickness, as I strive to get better
Is that moments ago, I was an active go-getter

Family members saying "As we live in this day and age"
"The more and more people the doctors can save"

Sooner or later, as I lose my hair
I think I've got hats, so why do I care.

Radition medicine now that sounds insane,
Next they be wanting a peice of my brain..

Took me months to say CANCER out loud
I look back now feeling so proud.

Whatever "YOU" believe to help pull you through,
I've been there, I've done it, and I've beaten it too.