Guest Blogger: Joe Black

Saturday was a lovely day.

Minus the constant fear outside of the venue of slipping on ice and meeting a frozen end. Inside the venue though, was just as cold as outside. I mean, Ocean Rooms, please.... Heating?!

The hearts were warm to join together and raise money for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer in Brighton. All the performers banded together, to hold an amazing show and show us what they had to offer, freezing cold or not. I wore gloves and many layers during the performance, because I'm a sensible chap like that. Mark Farley was such a pleasant man, and made me feel completely welcome, so thank you Mark and thank you everyone who took time out to help out this fantastic cause.

However, the down side for me was the outrageously disrespectful owner of the Ocean Rooms, Ben Gill, who was quite obviously on something(a fact supported by his own members of staff at the venue). He interrupted performance and during the set by MC Elemental, attempting to take the microphone off of him and storming the stage. He could not be ejected, as he was the owner of the venue but he was rude, disruptive and downright irritating. Afterwards, he decided to approach me to tell me he liked my stuff while slurring in my face, inappropriately touching me and generally getting far too close for comfort.

I can honestly say, as anti diva-ish as i am, if I find myself at the Ocean Rooms again, I will not be taking part, if that disgrace is about in full force on the venue floor.

Joe Black is the neo-vaudevillian, real life Disney villain. A gin-addled courtesan, the anti-christ of cabaret and the one and only waltzing cynic... Eccentric to international stages, Joe Black takes to shows in an almost cartoon-esque musical assault, sweeping the audience through deathly showtunes, stomping polkas and heart wrenching ballads. He recently headlined the Burlesque Against Breast Cancer Twisted Christmas Cabaret night in Brighton. www.myspace.com/misterjoeblack

Vivid Soda and Beyond

Wow, what a crazy weekend. From skidding in my car on the ice in Aylesbury to meeting a inspirational lady.

Despite the heavy snowfall and dodgy driving conditions, I journeyed to Aylesbury through work and see a close friend. The work was ok. Less said the better, to be honest. Admittedly, most of my trip was spent drinking Champagne Sangria and rehearsing my newest act to debut at Vivid Soda on the Sunday. To say I was bricking it would be an understatement. I was however, put at easy after seeing the new custom corset design and created exclusively for me by Lynn of Vintage Lynndy Loo. It a creation to behold. With the added splendour of my beautiful star encrusted bustle and panties from Lucy at Burldoir, I knew the act would be beautiful visually even if anything went wrong.

Vivid Soda is a show I have done a few times and have always performed to a great crowd and this night was no different. Each performer bought something new and exciting: Banbury Cross was her ever beautiful self performing a near nude fan dance and her champagne striptease; there was my beautiful bellydancer Luli Blue who performed a belly dance and a clock work doll act (FABULOUS!); there was the stunning Fifi Fatale who wowed the crowd with both routines: a strip tease and a beautiful art deco inspired routine; Warren Speed entertained as both Charlie Chaplin and then in a double act with the gorgeous, stunning Kiki Kaboom to perform a chav act to end all shows! It bought the house down!

Plus a local lady making her debut! She went down very well amongst the crowd. I have to admit I forgot her full name but it does translate as Madam Naughty. Tee hee! Oh and there was me!

Whilst the show was fabulous to say the least and James Thorpe captured some fantastic images of us all, it was two particular audience members who stole my heart for the night. I wont spill names due to reasons that will become clear. Both were clearly in love with one another but it wasn't that that made my heart break.

The woman informed me she had breast cancer. I was shell shocked to say the least I mean she looked healthy and vibrant (ok so not all people are sick, pale and withering but she seemed genuinely chuffed with life), she was smiling as she FINALLY gets to have massive breasts, which were her words!

She was excited that after the surgery she could have implants. Her sunny outlook on the whole situation made me realise that this disease isn't all doom and gloom and has some positive outcomes, for her at least. Her husband seemed immensely proud of her. I nearly cried like a soppy bugger, especially when I learnt he was off to Afghanistan soon. So instead of snotting everywhere, we danced and posed for photos together.

A truly fantastic weekend of all sorts of reasons.

Khandie Khisses performed for BABC recently at the Dirty Dicks show. You can find all of her lovely brilliance at www.khandiekhisses.com

Photo by Derek Bremner for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer

Bacchus By Any Other Name

It is currently nearing on 2am as I appear to have out-slept myself. So I thought I'd tell a little tale about this month so far.

Well the first bit of big news is that I've started working on another act. I'm quite focused on environmental awareness and so this new act will be a balloon pop tribute to our Honey Bees. What else could I call it but The Honeypot (Plight of the Honeybee). If there's one thing burlesque allows me, if not demands of me, it is certainly the freedom to come up with the cheesiest names I can. A balloon pop is one of the traditional burlesque acts and as of yet I've not had one because....well, because I HATE popping balloons!

Well actually, I don't hate popping balloons I just hate when they pop unexpectedly. I was the kid that wouldn't join in the balloon popping game at my school friends parties. You know the one where everyone has to hold a balloon between their knees and try to pop everyone elses balloon while keeping yours safe? Creating this should be an interesting process and may possibly see my blood pressure skyrocket.

Next thing for this month was Hula Hooping. I'm currently attempting to collect circus skills like some people collect stamps. Speaking of which does anyone actually collect stamps anymore?

Anyway, as I often say 'I'm proud of my curves' when I really mean to say 'I hate sit-ups and I don't give a damn what you think', I've discovered the perfect antidote to my anti-exercise mentality will definitely be Hula Hooping. If one of those babies isn't in my Christmas stocking this year then I am throwing my toys out of the pram.

I have to say though, that I've been wanting to do a Hula Hooping act ever since I saw a duo at the London Burlesque Festival Newcomers earlier this year. H-O-T. I can't even remember the name of their act but it was a travesty that they didn't win anything.

Finally we have this Friday. I've been planning a trip to Vivienne of Holloway ever since my brothers sent me a gift voucher for my birthday to try on the cutest dress I'd ever seen. I roped Bea Devile into coming along with me (I didn't need to try too hard) as it's always more fun with two. I came away with a dress, and a pair of fabulous high waist denims AND one of their halter tops. If Bea hadn't rushed me out of there to get to the Nikita Sablier sale, I may have maxed my credit card out.

Bea had discovered a wonderful covered arcade near Carnaby St which has no less than 6 vintage stores and Something Hells, the vintage hairdressers of Miss Betty & Mr Ducktail. The inside of the arcade has a courtyard which feel like it's outdoors but is fully covered and currently bedecked in pretty fairy lights. Much nicer than some of the nasty (there's no other word for it) Christmas displays already up all over the place.

Oh but we had run out of time to look at all of the shops so we had already planned our next visit for December as we had tea and cake at Candy Cakes to get our energy back before our respective journeys. Candy Cakes have the most incredible looking muffins. Brightly coloured icing and topped enormous marshmallow and jelly shapes, they really do look the part in their little turquoise giftboxes.

Unfortunately they were a bit sickly sweet for my tastes but very cute looking nonetheless and kept me going for the next few hours of London traffic hell. In fact, I was lucky to arrive at Nick Von Fiction's place with enough time to down a half glass of red wine before we jumped in a cab to the venue.

We had been planning on trying out some vintage style photographs in Die Freche Muse venue for a while. Unfortunately, my issues with the traffic left us limited time but with the time we had Nick worked wonders. He'll try to tell you otherwise but he really is a bit of a clever clogs with his lighting.

I managed one costume change before the doors opened for Die Freche Muse and some of the results of our shoot should be up on the website before long.

Throughout the shoot, one of the other burlesque performers for the evening, Laurie Hagen was waiting downstairs. Laurie has one of those incredibly expressive 1920s faces and as I saw later in the night her act was just gorgeous.

Once the doors had opened, I took my things upstairs to the dressing room where the house cat was on hand to inspect all our things. At one poin,t as Laurie and I were getting ready, he had us in stitches as he crawled under a sheet and was just swiping with one paw at Laurie's feet. Once he realised we were no longer playing, he decided to throw himself at the 30 cm space between us which resulted in us both squealing like little girls and him nearly clearing the bed.

Often at these events a lot of the night is spent upstairs or backstage if you will, chatting with other performers and friends of the promoters. I had the opportunity to chat with Millicent Binks who looks almost exactly like a china doll, so delicate! And briefly met Sumi Sumatra although I unfortunately didn't get to see her act.

I did discover that we had the same pants on however and I wonder if the audience thought there had been a bit of costume sharing going on backstage.

As ever with Die Freche Muse, I didn't get back home until after sun up. The Baron von Sanderson was late to this party though as he'd been filming for Come Dine With Me. I'm dying to know when his episode airs!

You might have noticed the title of this blog, Bacchus by any other name. A tribute really to a man who reminds me ever so much of a cross between Bacchus, or Dionysus in other mythology, and a very naughty little boy. Although I suppose Bacchus was just a very naughty little boy really. Whether he's taking everyone over to the bar for another champagne or swooping a lovely lass up for a dance, he is ever the otherworldly host. So Baron, well done for another wonderful Freche Muse!

Well that's enough writing for tonight. BW is tugging at the sleeve of my dressing gown to come watch a film before bed. Sometimes he reminds me quite a lot of a cat. If you've ever owned one you'll know how much they like to get in between you and the computer screen with a 'What is this strange thing you're giving far too much attention to? Here, let me remedy that' kind of look as they plonk themselves on the keyboard.

Night all...x Bella

UD now on the iPhone

For those iPhone users, you can get an app for your phone with the book on it!

How cool is that?

http://www.apptism.com/developers/andrews-uk-limited

Introducing... Khandie Khisses

Recently, I had a bit of a marathon mini tour of England.

Firstly I went from London to Preston, then Preston to Northampton, then Northampton to Exeter, then Exeter to Torquay, Torquay to Plymouth and finally Plymouth to London and then home.

MANIC. National Rail got practically all the way which was lovely to be able to snooze on the train between performances. No smelly BO infested person sat next to me either which was lovely though mildly/oddly disappointing. Have had this been a regular occurrence for me whenever I go by train I felt somehow ripped off for my ticket when I didn’t get one.

So one highlight for me was performing for the legendary Alan Moore (of V for Vendetta and Watchmen amongst others fame.). He is launching a new magazine called Dodgem Logic. GO BUY A COPY! Its awesome!!!!

I was rather star struck by it all. Darkteaser, Luli Blue, Nicole A Lure and myself tasselled and twirled our ways through the shows. It was lovely to be back with old friends and enjoy ourselves. Special mention to James and Anna Thorpe, Tamsyn Payne and Joe Brown for looking after us all. By the way Nicole is behind the Hourglass photographic company. A lovely present for any lady!

Exeter was another personal highlight as I got to see the multi-talented couple The Bells AKA Kinky and Quirky Burlesque N Boogie. Mark and Sarah have managed to create one hell of a burlesque night out in a town that had never seen burlesque before. People come from all over to watch their shows. I spoke to people from Canterbury and Cardiff who had come to see the show. I performed along side the rather ravishing Soup De Jour (her cat act is amazingly fabulous) and the ever magnetic Equador the Wizard (GO SEE THIS MAN PERFORM!) He bought the house down with his final act and I HIGHLY recommend you go see him! Mark Bell is also a talented artist. His work is very highly admired and so much so I am looking to purchase a painting myself.

As Kinky and Quirky is based in my home town I often feel odd coming back but Mark and Sarah make you feel so welcome its fantastic to be there. I adore performing at their shows and cant wait to go back.

Plymouth saw me staying in a cold but still pleasant enough hotel as I was performing at Annabels. Admittedly I was nervous as I had never performed there before but needn't have bothered to be.

A cracking band (the Faux Fur Full) was playing some pretty rocking tunes very Big Voodoo Daddies sounding though they covered a lot of similar band songs. Though there was no specific stage to perform on Annabel (owner and name sake) managed to clear a space in front of the band for myself and two new performers (Midnight Caller and Midnight Iris). The crowd were lovely even though some were rather drunk. I loved all the gold mirrors and chequered flooring. Andy who helped to run the club was so cute! He danced backstage with us girls...proper snake hips going on. Annabel was nice too. She runs a tight ship which was good to see.

Anyway, before long I was back in London and in Nikita Sablier dancing in her shop window to celebrate her one year anniversary of the shop opening!

Khandie Khisses performed for BABC recently at the Dirty Dicks show. You can find all of her lovely brilliance at www.khandiekhisses.com

Photo by Derek Bremner for Burlesque Against Breast Cancer

Introducing… Beulah Bell

Well I have had the craziest few months, from being and unemployed to having 2 fantastic jobs.

I had a little break in Oct/Nov form the Burlesque stuff to start a new office job - something's gotta pay the bills you know! And I started training at Simon Drake's ~ House of Magic.......as Magicians Assistant.

OMG.....It has always been a secret dream of mine so I have been on cloud nine, although its been quite demanding working full time and preparing for the magic shows I have enjoyed every minute of it.

And I had my first show on Friday 4th December which was amazing I feel so honoured to work for such an amazing Magician and with the most professional and wonderful team at the HoM.

We have Public shows their on the 10th, 16th & 17th December if you would like to see the best magic show in London!

I have had 2 Amazing shoots with the legend Terry Mendoza at The Retro Photo Studio the first produced some beautiful Cheese Cake images for my personal promotion and the second was for the Rock-Billy clothing company ~ Collectif for their 2010 Calendar where I will be Miss March and 50% Miss June with the stunning Abby Bambilabomba Shields.

I am just getting the final airbrushed copies coming through of my first shoot now as Terry has been so busy so I will post them as I get them. I had such great results I will be going back for another shoot in 2010.

My next public Burlesque show is on the 19th December at The Christmas Carnival @ Bar Form in Enfield Town, its free entry and there will be lots of fun festive things happening over the weekend there. I will be performing my Santa Baby act at around 8.30pm so get down early.

I have also been preparing my act for Roxy Rendezvous 'Alice in Wonderland' event that's in Southampton in February, I playing the Caterpillar with a spectacular transformation...not to be missed. Tickets can only be purchased from Roxy direct. To book your tickets, email: roxytwirls@yahoo.co.uk or telephone 07815 967791.

Well I think that's it, other than a massive thank you to all my close friends & James who have been so supportive and encouraging and have help me out in lots of different ways I owe ya big time and I love you all to bits!

Beulah Bell has been one of BABC's most enthusiastic and dedicated performers. She first performed for us in Soho when we took over the Book Club Boutique at our Spring Fling, where she adapted her act with a special tribute to breast cancer awareness. For more info, visit: www.myspace.com/missbeulahbell

The Bunny is Back!

Club Smooch Backstage

Ok, I realise I have been a little quiet as of late but that's only because I've been hard at work creating my first true comedy act.


I always have a couple of pages of act ideas at all times and picking ones I want to work on is so hard because I want to do them all! But I must stick by my own mantra of less acts, better quality.

Last time I was in town before a Club Smooch after my sound check and run through I popped out to pick up some false eyelashes. It just so happened that the local costume shop was having a sale of it's ex rental costumes. I wasn't expecting to find anything but I had a bit of a snoop amongst the rails and found a scraggy looking bunny costume.

I've always wanted to go to Halloween dressed in a big fluffy bear outfit, if only so I could run up to people and cuddle them like an overgrown teddy bear. So I was drawn to the bedraggled looking bunny. I managed to talk them down from the overambitious pricing and left the store with a new act in the bag. Well not quite, but you get the picture.

Music was the next stumbling block. I knew I wanted to use Run Rabbit Run, simply for the fact that the cheeriness of it would juxtapose so nicely against what I was going to do to this poor little bunny. But how to finish it.

A chance evening in with nothing to watch but 'Top 100 sexiest music videos' was to be my saviour. Never mind thatthe woman co-hosting sounded like she should have been on one of those ads that crop up at about 1:30am. You know the ones I'm talking about, 'Sexy girls in your neighbourhood are just waiting for YOUR call.' Nonetheless, I found myself tapping my toes to a completely over the top pop/hip hop song and voila! I had my music.

The process was a lot of fun for me. More acting than dancing, it was just a bit of silly fun. I could never have predicted just how much the audience at Club Smooch was going to love it. The reaction was overwhelming. I often have people come up to me after a show to say they liked the act, etc. This time I had people copying the bunny moves!

Speaking of Club Smooch, all puns aside, the Halloween event was a hell of a night! I also performed my La Belle Femme en Rouge act which was the complete opposite of Rabbit Pie. It's a 30s jazz era fan dance with an exquisite costume from Curve Couture. You can see it here where Vanessa, our Club Smooch maid has snapped me backstage waiting to go on.

Chrissie (boss lady at Curve Couture) also had a fashion show during Club Smooch. Her fashion shows are never ordinary and although I saw them rehearsing and had a little peek from behind the curtain backstage I didn't get to see the full show until I was going through the footage from the show with Bob on Saturday. Wow! It was very, very sexy.

In fact, on the Halloween night I was onstage no less than 4 times! We all got out on stage for a boogie to one of Trixy Vixens songs Moloko, and I was also part of the Club Smooch Troupe. It reminded me of all the things I miss about theatre. In particular a nice Sunday roast before rehearsals!